Couch 236: NY PS Langston Hughes

I cant take this stupid weather anymore we recently had 3 weeks of a severe heatwave then a week of autmn-y weather and now we are plunged straight into winter well as wintery as the tropics can get,, i might have to buy another jumper.

Today is 86 degrees F here Monday is supposed to be 55 degrees F. The weather makes me so frustrated.

My age has never bothered me i am so unaware that i need to look at my drivers licence for my birth year, my exT on the other hand kept bringing age up and i recently found an essay online that he wrote about the turmoil he felt at turning 50. I am not still obssessed with exT much...it is getting better

Making these little angels today...

They are so cuuuute.

I was having such a great day i successfully drew a cat that looked like a cat and not like Texas Tiny head from Twisted Whiskers and suddenly i hit a slump and i just want to sit on my bed cuddling the dogs.

I would never try to reduce a therapist's stress - they don't have any. They only cause stress.

The second woman said she was never going to retire and 3 months later retired because her ailing 90 something year old husband got sick and didn't want anyone but her taking care of him -so she retired.

L is off on vacation and I'm suffering from thoughts. And I don't have a backup either. I just emailed T if she could be there. I'm hoping she says yes. I just tried a crisis chat and closed the browser on them. He started asking what skills I have. That just pissed me off. I just wanted someone to talk to. Someone to reassure me. I need L!

Well H finally got the call from the heart center about the next 3 tests the cardiologist ordered, in early april he has to go in and get a monitor he'll wear for 24 hours and then in mid-may he's scheduled for an echo and a PET scan. he feels fine other than being tired a lot and is working pretty much every day (some days they don't have work for him) so I'm taking comfort in that and also in thinking that if they were overly concerned about his heart they wouldn't be waiting until mid-May for 2 of the tests. I'm glad they finally got the appointments scheduled, at least; I feel a little sense of relief in knowing they're scheduled. Also my mom's still in the hospital but is improving every day so that is good news too.

Oh yeah this online course I finally started today... already feels a bit like therapy homework. That's a good thing to me, a feeling of familiarity, this, tasking myself with answering questions that involve some honest introspection. Instead of having L sitting across from me asking them, I'm reading some of them in the workbook and listening to the instructor go through others in the audio portions. It's a 6 week course and I just listened to the first 'class' today, and answered the first 3 questions in the workbook, tomorrow I'll work on a couple more of the questions.


I'm 'bout to fall asleep at my keyboard.... night couchies!

Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry L's on vacation and that you're suffering. I hope T will be available for you. Keep posting here if it helps.

I had to look up texas tiny head, had never heard of him or that show before. I hope your dogs helped you feel better.

Great xmas tree decoration!

For those who paint: I've painted with acrylics a fair number of times and have only tried watercolor a couple times, including today. I think I vastly prefer acrylics. I'm sure watercolor has a learning curve, and it's something that I could try to work through if I wanted. But with acrylics, I liked them the first time I used them.

I feel like this is going to sound like a silly question. But is it wrong to just stick with acrylics, if that's what I feel I prefer? Am I just taking the easy way out? I ask this, because one of the things my mom has always said to me is that I have a tendency to want to quit things when they get hard (therapy apparently being an exception for the most part--I know, I left Dr. T once, but that was after a string of conflicts, plus I still went back to work things through).

Anyway, am I being a quitter if I just choose to go back to acrylics? I'd gotten away from painting during the pandemic in general, had my H get me a 3-month subscription to Let's Make Art, which is a watercolor painting box (three projects with most of the materials and video tutorials each month). I've tried a couple, but eh...

Though acrylics fit better with my preferred style of painting, which is layering and building up the paint in some areas, so maybe it's simply a stylistic thing? Rather than "Waaaaaah, this is hard, I quit!"?

Isn't a hobby what you actually enjoy, not what you should enjoy? And isn't the advantage of hobbies that you don't have to be good at them?

If all you want to do is paint in one way then why wouldn't it be okay? But the question seems like you want external reassurance rather than honestly looking at what your reasons are inside of yourself. I wouldn't think there was anything inherently wrong with deciding that learning water color was more work than you want to put into a hobby. I would find it a bigger issue to try and justify it in less than honest ways versus a mere I don't want to put that much effort into learning something that doesn't interest me or matter to me or what ever to me.

These are both excellent points, thanks!

It's sort of like how I prefer walking to running. I've tried running, and I've tried doing 5Ks, where I did a mix of walking and running (mostly walking!). I found I don't particularly like the competition aspect of that, and would rather just go for a walk. And I'm good with that. Meanwhile, H enjoys races, though he's sidelined due to injury right now.

Thanks, SD. I suppose I'm having trouble figuring out if I don't want to try to learn it because it's more difficult (well, to me) or if it's that I simply don't like it. But I guess it ultimately doesn't matter. I'm an adult--I can choose my own hobbies.

I think there is probably something about the idea that you quit when it gets hard that is close enough to a truth that makes it bother you so much. I don't think there is any reason not to quit a hobby just because it is harder to learn and takes more effort than you want to put into it.

Wordle is confounding me today. So far I have only the last letter right, and 2 other letters in the wrong places.

Are people lining up to see the watercolor Mona Lisa? I rest my case!

But they do line up for John Singer Sargent. Georgia O'Keefe did quite a few for awhile. Even Van Gogh.(the dumbest damn thing I got dragged to over covid was the Van Gogh experience - I think that is what it was called - don't waste your money. I am glad I didn't pay for it and I still felt ripped off)

I want more fresco artists - that is what I think should be focused on =Fresco

I like eating al fresco, does that count?

T responded to me! I feel better just knowing she's there and I'm not alone.

I'm glad she responded and that it was helpful, Scarlet! When is L back? Hugs, if wanted.

It's not just you...