Couch 236: NY PS Langston Hughes

I think it's totally fair to give a book 2 stars just because you didn't like the ending. I once watched a show for six seasons. It was my favorite show. Don't talk to me while it's on kind of favorite. The series finale was a complete letdown and I was not happy at all about it. Totally changed how I saw the overall series. I'm still a little salty about it years later. Endings are important. Which is a statement that can apply to so many things in life.

But they just said they didnt like the ending with no explanation. I have read books where i dont like the ending but mainly because the ending didnt make any sense or the ending seemed rushed like the author got tired of writing or something.

“Lost”?

And agreed, I hate non-closure, non-organic endings. Even if the writer is dangling a sequel there should be closure.

I hate the reviews that give a book 1 star because the shipping package was faulty.

Haha! I was actually wondering if someone would know exactly which show I was referring to.

Ha, that was the first show I thought of as well, Lost! There are many shows where I'll do a rewatch, but I can't bring myself to watch any of that show again, even though I was really into it at the time.

Thanks, QM.

Yes, I hate those sort of reviews of products! I also LOATHE book reviews that give it one star for 'foul language.' They will say "I didn't read past page 49 because the author used foul language 4 times...." and go on a bit about that. Well, then, you did not read the book, did you? I really wish Bezos would give us a downvote button for reviews.

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Group therapy went well last night. We had music therapy for the first hour. We listened to a song that was not memorable. I neither liked it, nor disliked it. It wasn't my genre of music but it was just okay. Then we talked about what we liked in the lyrics. Then she gave us a template to make up lyrics for that song. Then we each wrote our own lyrics. It was kind of like writing a poem. It was kind of cool.

Then the second hour we watched a Ted Talk on negative thinking. Then we discussed how negativity sticks with us. How when something positive happens, we are happy for a little bit then go back to baseline. But when something negative happens, it sticks with us for a long time. The solutions she gave were just so so. Like, write a gratitude list, etc. But I like the experiments she talked about in the Ted Talk and I have talked about that Ted Talk with others so it does stick with me.

That seemed to be the way short stories ended for about a generation - say 80s to 90s? The author would leave it with some abstract paragraph about i dont know what. And youre sitting there like, what happened to the story?!

Just letting everyone know.... I'm taking a break from reading/posting here for a bit. I'm fine/doing well/happy, nothing to do with anyone here specifically, just, I think that reading all the session-related stuff on here overall is kinda encouraging my continued over-attachment to L and is in conflict with the growing part of me that's becoming independent of her. Love to all, I wish you all the very best in everything, and I'll likely drop in from time to time just to say hi.



Head nods and respect to those who do not want hugs and/or love.

-Artie

Back at my mother's and on

Holding you and your family in my thoughts, @@.

May your mother's next journey be as peaceful as possible.

I'm sorry, @@. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be. I'm sure she appreciates your being there. Keeping you and her in my thoughts.

It is such a watch. And there is no normal -it is all in flux. I am sorry you are going through this now.

So sorry to hear that, @@. I'm sure your mom is grateful that you're there all the same. My mom was also very irritable and anxious and a bit paranoid, because of the meds they gave her to help her calm down (!), but grateful too.

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I don't mean to make it all about me.

I'm trying to say: I can relate. It is a very sad time. But it's a time to just be there with her.

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I'm glad you're able to be there with her. Hugs @@.

Have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow, hope all goes well.

My sympathies, @@. This has to be one of the most difficult situations to endure.

Does anyone else's therapist comment about their job when you're talking about yours? I mentioned not wanting to have to take my work laptop or answer any calls for an upcoming vacation and he was like "yeah, me too. that's why I have boundaries around my vacations". It's almost like he doesn't consider how that might land. Especially considering that we have talked/had sessions on several of his previous vacations. Would that bug anyone else or am I just being too sensitive? It's like you're in the middle of this interaction with him that feels natural and all of a sudden you're reminded in that moment that you're just someone's job.

Mine has done stuff like this. It has also bothered me. I feel like sometimes he sort of forgets in the moment that he's talking to me as a client and thinks he's talking to me as a colleague or friend? I mean, it's OK at times when we can sort of commiserate about both essentially working freelance, so we don't get paid time off or lamenting having to pay quarterly estimated taxes. But then there are moments in there where he's just talking about "clients" in general, and that's more difficult.

This isn't the same thing, but there was also a time a few years ago when I'd requested an extra session, and at the end of it, I said something like, "sorry I led you to work an extra hour today" (he'd added a session). And he said, "It's not a problem, plus now I can buy a solar iPhone charger." I know he was trying to make the point that it wasn't a problem because he was getting paid for it. But it felt like my distress/pain was allowing him to get a new tech toy. And he's also said things (when I've apologized for an extra session) like, "Well, I have to buy groceries, so."

The absolute worst one was with ex-MC, when we saw him on some holiday--Memorial or Labor Day maybe? And we said something about his working that day. He said, "Well, I'd rather be in my backyard cooking out, but I thought I'd be responsible and come into work." That was right at the beginning of session, and I felt really awkward after that, knowing he'd rather be elsewhere.

I know most of these examples are quite what you asked, but I get what you mean when it can feel like a moment of connection, then you're reminded that you're a client.

I would really dislike that kind of comment, NP. I think my T is careful to not talk too much about work unless I ask, although I rarely talk about my job or work in general. We have talked about how our jobs are very different, but it's usually in the context of me not wanting to bother her and her saying it's okay. (My job would never have a "crisis" situation, for example.) I could see where the opposite would feel very bad, especially in that sort of thoughtless way. I'm glad he has boundaries, but I doubt you needed to be reminded of that, especially in a way that was kind of like backhanded complaint. Did you ask him about it or tell him that you felt a little stung by it?

My T did tell me one time that she has napped on her therapy couch on a break between clients, which I found oddly charming and also kind of weird since I was sitting on it at the time.

I'm so sorry, ATAT.

I am not doing well. At all. I have an appointment for an intake for my local crisis stabilization center on Tuesday, but I don't even want to go to that. My therapists basically begged me, but ugh..

I am watching Grosse Pointe Blank - I love how he scares the therapist

There was another comment in the recent past he mad that I can't quite remember, but it was something to do with a long weekend or me taking a day off or something like that and he made a comment about how much he'd enjoy that. That's nowhere near verbatim, but the same kind of sentiment like "I'd love to not have to work for a day". I remember thinking in the moment that it must suck to have to come into work and listen to me all the time.

I think sometimes he forgets we're not friends. Which also sucks, because my heart yearns to be his friend. I've never said anything about it. I'm not very good at speaking up in the moment. I'm sure he'd take whatever I had to say non-defensively (he's always been pretty good on that front, which is not to say he never gets defensive, but he's quick to own up to it when he does), yet I always hesitate to say anything. I have been known to bring things up weeks or months later though. That's something I need to continue to work on.