Couch 236: NY PS Langston Hughes

good idea, haiku or tanka or something short like those can be thanks!

It's been a long week (that's not really over yet). It's concert week, so my days have started at 6:00 a.m. and not ended until about 10:45 p.m. My back is kinked up from rehearsals -- combination of really uncomfortable choral seating, lots of standing, and holding music. But one concert down last night. We're doing a semi-staged full opera concert of Tchaikovsky's "Eugene Onegin." The soloists are fantastic and we finally sort of got a handle on singing the Russian (it's a beast). Audience loved it which is really what matters. Concert Sunday and again next Tuesday. Add to that rehearsals for Holy Week at church (playing several flute pieces and singing), and by Easter I'll be through the worst of it just in time to start rehearsals for Beethoven 9.

I complain, but I am SO glad to be back into performance mode again. It was a very long two-year hiatus. I've needed music back in my life.

One of the poetry prompts I found for this year is to rewrite an old poem from a different perspective. So I was going through my binder of poems that I wrote back in the late 1970's/early 1980's. When I was in Creative Writing class in HS, my teacher (R, who some of you will remember me talking about before, I was very attached to her then and we are still friends now mostly just on FB but we did meet for lunch one time when I was back in the midwest visiting) had this one weekly assignment for us, to write about a "thought for the day". We took turns bringing in said thoughts, and writing them on the chalkboard so we could choose one each week to write about in any form of writing. I kept a running list of them and for whatever reason I stuck the list in my poetry binder, and it's still in there!! doodled on, torn, some in pencil, some in blue pen, some in red pen, etc but it's intact. I took a picture of it and messaged it to her, can't wait to hear what she says about it I wonder if she even remembers that particular ongoing assignment. What a fun blast from the past! I wish I had kept my actual assignments. I know some of the ones I used because she graded these with a check, a check minus, or a check plus, and I see faint checks and check pluses next to several of them. Sadly I didn't do that for all of them! Gosh, this is weird, looking at this list, in my high school age handwriting, is really taking me back there in my mind. I'm remembering so much about that class. I loved it (and her!) so much.

This is great to hear, Artley, I'm so happy for you getting music back into your life!

Oh wow. Onegin is a beautiful opera. I actually have a stupid habit randomly singing two pieces from there (I a am tune deaf so it’s really bad and I don’t know why I have to always randomly sing parts of it). But as I read your post I all of a sudden sang loudly fromTatyna’s letter to Onegin “I am writing to you-what’s more?” My husband looked at me funny hahah

It’s amazing how when we take breaks from whatever creative pursuits (music or art or any others), when we get back to it, it feels emotional doesn’t it

So happy you are back to performing!!! It’s wonderful

Hey couch. I was just on zoom with my mom/sister/brother, and he showed us some family pictures he'd found in a box that had come from our mom's house that he hadn't had a chance to go through til now. They were taken in the 50's and cool to see! Several had my beloved grandma in them and I have precious few pictures of her, so he's gonna send me copies. My mom is supposed to go home from the hospital tomorrow, she's happy about that. She said she tried walking with just a cane today but she's still too weak, so will still be using a walker for a bit longer.

Spent the past seven hours in my mother’s hospital room waiting for blood for a transfusion to show up (she needs a transfusion before she can have a kidney biopsy because her blood count is low). Doesn’t look like it’s coming, at least not before I leave at the end of visiting hours.

She declines a little each day and since there’s no diagnosis, there’s also no prognosis.

hugs if wanted, @@. So sorry to hear this. I'm thinking good thoughts for you and your mother. I hope they're able to figure out what's going on sooner rather than later and that they're able to treat it successfully.

Today is mine and L's 3 year anniversary!

Happy thera-versary, Scarlet!

Also sending hugs if wanted. I'm sure the doctors are considering this, but I wonder if the low blood count could be related to the kidney issue? I hope she can get the transfusion and the test soon and that they can figure out what's going on and help her. That seems like a ridiculous amount of time to wait, unless they had to get the blood from elsewhere maybe.

Almost certainly the blood issues have to do with the kidney issues.

I assume they did get the blood from elsewhere. It finally arrived about 5 minutes before I left at the end of visiting hours.

Hey Couch. Its been slow on here lately.

Artie, glad your mom is improving.

ATAT: sorry about your mom

Scarlet: Yay for 3 years with L!

Nothing new here. Still grieving hard for my little buddy. My art T mentioned a grieving ritual to have some closure on the situation, but I realized I am nowhere ready to actually say goodbye to him. Even though I don't think he is alive anymore (its been almost 2 months since he escaped), there is still this stubborn part of me that holds out hope that I'll see him again. Ugh.

Happy Thera-versary!

I'm in chat this week at work, well for 3 days of it anyway (chat is closed on Sundays so I escaped it yesterday) since I took off Thursday to go with H to the next in his series of cardiologist appointments/tests. Mondays are the busiest days and I have to start at 5a instead of 6a. Welp, here goes nothin'.....

wishing a good day/night to all and hugs to those who need/want, dignified and non-blinky headnods where appropriate.

Ugh, Dr. T told me partway through session today how he'd made a last-minute decision to travel from Sunday through Wednesday next week (it's our school system's spring break). He apologized for the late notice, plus that he'd just been away. I said I understood, then started crying a minute later.

It's just difficult, because we've basically just started back in person, but then he was away for a bit, now I'm at my parent's beach condo (by myself), so meeting with him virtually a couple days. Then I'll see him in person this Friday, then he'll be away, then see him in person one day next week. So it's not like we've really been able to get into some sort of rhythm with that. And with case numbers starting to go up a bit in my area (not nearly as much as in some other areas), I'm concerned he's going to pull the plug on it again, and we won't have been able to meet in person much at all.

Yes, I'm fully aware that being at the beach was my choice--that's not on him at all. I wanted to come down here a couple months ago, but my parents hadn't opened it up yet, then they were here much of last month. So it was really my first chance. And I also opted to not see him a couple sessions right after he was flying (he's driving this time, so I feel OK about seeing him in person right after).

In other words, this has been almost just as much me as him, and he has every right to go on a vacation with his family (so please, no lectures on that), but all the timing is just frustrating for me, I guess. And D's having some more struggles, so I feel a bit guilty being down here for a few days anyway (even though H is fine with it). Just getting some thoughts out, is all.

I'm sorry, LT. That really sucks.
I hope you're able to get into a rhythm with in-person after he gets back.

Thanks, Lost, I appreciate the kind words.

How are you doing?

Ugh, I'm sorry LT. That does suck. I too hope you can find your in-person rhythm back. So much un-settled-ness in the world today it sucks when that creeps in to therapy.


My mom is back home, after 17 days in the hospital. She's tired, has to get around with a walker, but is grateful to be home. My sister is staying with her for at least the next couple of nights. My other sister cooked a bunch of food for her this past week, so she will have plenty to eat as she continues to recover.

That sucks, LT. My T has switched things around a lot for various reasons the last few weeks, and it has thrown me off a little. Being out of rhythm with virtual and then in-person, back to virtual again, etc, makes sense.

Thanks, Artie. Glad that your mom is back home!

Thanks, Velcro. Sorry you're dealing with this as well. I just hate that it matters so much to me. I hope at some point I can be at a place where he says "I'm taking a week off," and I can say, "Have fun! I'll be fine" and not start crying a minute later (or as soon as I sign off or leave the office).


I did OK when he had a 5-day weekend like 10 days ago (as in, no desire to contact him, etc.). I sort of wanted a chance to feel good about that for a bit, not immediately be tested by a longer one. Ah well. I mean, I guess I'd prefer this to him taking, say, 2 straight weeks (or longer) off. I think?

yeah it must be harder for you since you see him
so much more often. that is a lot of therapy time you miss. do you try and distract yourself during your normal session times? Create art, a little shopping therapy, a long walk in a park…etc.

I dont have any mirrors or scales in my house and i have a rottten memory which makes answering doctors questions hard. When did i notice the weight gain? When i tried to put a pair of jeans on that i hadnt worn in a while. When was the last time you wore those jeans? I really dont remember. Also it doesnt help that i only buy clothes when they wear out i have clothes that a re 12 years old in my wardrobe.

I do this sometimes, and it can be helpful. Well, I probably do shopping therapy a bit more often than I should . Though I can use the justification of "I'm saving money by not having sessions."

I'm just starting to get back into painting again, so maybe I'll create art on at least one of the days. And/or a walk if the weather is any good.