[mick07]

I'm really confused and was hoping to get some feedback .
I had my first visit with a new therapist-- my psychiatrist with whom I have a good relationship with referred me. I met with her for an hour-- and I don't really like her. She annoys me. I'm in kind of a weird place myself and don't like many people-- or myself right now. I trying to decide what to do-- go back or not?????. Is it just me??? Do you need to like your therapist? She has a good reputation but I'm just really unsure what to do? I live in a very rural area and therapists are hard to come by.

[Cthomas]

imho, it dont help you if you dont like the therapist. it may hinder what you put out there. I choose to find a therapist i like and that makes me more comfortable with what im telling them. think of it as a friend. if this was a person who wanted to be your friend, would you? if not, go back at least once more to make sure you are SURE you like/dislike, then if you dont like them, find a new one.

but i always give it 3 visits, and if no "click", then im looking again. nothing wrong with shopping around. after all this is your mental health. and you want to feel better, not worse.

Hope this helps.
Take care,

Colleen

[pachyderm]

I think the only thing you can go on is your "gut" instinct. I also think it is a good idea as Colleen said to go back at least once to make sure.

[Mouse_]

I guess we have to really get to know someone before we can make a judgement call? There are times we like people, and times we don't and sometimes making up our mind straight away can just be a defense? But if someone does there job well and makes you feel listened too, then I guess whats not to like?

[ziggy1]

Well i think it means alot too like your therapist. If she/he

annoys you, i think its time to find a new One!

i always try to give it 3 visits. Also sometimes I try to understand why this person is annoying me. Is it something she can fix.. ie) does she ask you questions in a wierd way. If so, you can communicate it. If all in all, it is a personality class, I agree... you should leave.

[bipolar_bear]

You may consider giving her a few more tries before moving on. The first visit can be hard under any circumstance. If there is something in particular you can address it with her and how she reacts will give you a better idea how other issues will be resolved in the future. I hope it works out. If it is totally not workable you can always move on. Good luck.

BB

[Perna]

I would look at what annoys you about her. My T annoyed me in some ways but not in any that were "important" to me?

[tsha]

Yes, I think you need to like your t if you want to heal.
You said you are in a wierd place and don't like many people right now. You have to take that into consideration. Will you like any therapist right now? Are you afraid to face what is going on? Are you afraid to talk? ...
I would suggest talking with your pdoc about this. He/She may have some incite for you.
Good luck, I hope you find some comfort soon.

[lauren_helene]

I didn't care for my T in the beginning (almost two years ago). I thought he was rather dismissive of me as a person because he said that therapy was weeks instead of months (CBT).

I immediately thought he doesn't even know who I am or anything about me but he knows it'll take weeks and not months?

I stuck it out though and am glad I did.

[chaotic13]

For me it would depend on what it was about her that I didn't like. My first few months of therapy were incredibly difficult and I was finding a LOT of things that I didn't like about it. But when I looked at each complaint I realized it was either not that important in the overall process or more often-- that it was just an excuse for me to quit. At this point, I'm glad I stuck it out with my current T.

I would try to figure out what it is you don't like about her before you leave. This way you know what you are NOT looking for when selecting your next T.

well, like other have said, give it a couple of visits.. space them out a little to let yourself kinda stew on it. But honestly, i don't know of ANY therapy approach which doesn't stress how important the relationship is... a lot of people (authors i mean) seem to believe that the relationship is the thing that matters more than anything else, more than orientation or method or anything. i guess you have to decide what your feelings are.. and whether it is a workable thing. Can you imagine feeling like she is on your side? i think they call it an alliance or something like that... i mean, you won't feel like telling all right away, that's natural, but can you see yourself ever being ok with her?

one thing to consider is the issues that are bringing you into therapy... trauma issues i think require a firm bond, whereas maybe some issues not so much.. are you planning long term or a shorter process?

what about having a talk with the pdoc about it? you seem to feel good about him

[sunrise]

I think it's pretty important to like your therapist, but I think you are in a special place now, where you aren't liking much of anyone. Could this be the issue with this T? I agree with all who have said go for at least one more session before making up your mind.

I'm trying to remember back to my first session with my current T. I don't have a strong memory of like or dislike, but I remember a strong feeling of "this man is going to be able to help me; he is the one." And a month later at my second session, I really liked him a lot. And I dreamed about him in a positive way in between. So there were signs and feelings to read that said, "stick with this guy." Open your heart and mind and listen to what they are telling you.

It sounds like your pdoc knows you well. Did he recommend this T because he felt it would be a good fit for you? If so, in what way? Personality? Therapeutic approach? In case it doesn't work out, does your pdoc have any other names up his sleeve who might be a good match?

Yes, I think it is important that you like your therapist.
And... I think it is important that your therapist likes you.

I agree with what others have said about how sometimes a person can grow on you even though they rub you up the wrong way initially.

But I also understand that sometimes the fit is simply not there and three sessions (or even one hundred sessions) ain't gonna fix that.

A lot of it does indeed depend on WHY you didn't click with her. I've had some who I didn't return to, and I've had some who I gave a chance over a few more sessions (and some of those worked and some of those didn't).

[perpetuallysad]

I like my therapist a LOT. I suppose everyone gets pretty attached to theirs, considering that they are the one that knows so much information about you. My pdoc is my therapist because there aren't a lot of therapists or pdocs around here to choose from and the therapist I did try gave me a horrible feeling and "forgot" about our second appointment. After that, my pdoc offered to see me for therapy (at least every 2 weeks) and he charges me nearly nothing as I have nearly no money.

Anyway. I have a very strong attachment to him and I don't know how I would feel trying to talk to someone else; especially someone who doesn't seem to care or doesn't click with me.