[unaluna]

Welcome to the couch, old and new! A place to hang out - sometimes you get immediate feedback, sometimes you don't.

Shouting, "Cool Whip" tends to bring others out from between the cushions if you're feeling lonely.

This is a chatty thread. All are welcome. We're kind of psychologically oriented, sometimes. We try to be supportive. At times we discuss what that means.

It’s a place to plop down on the couch when you come home from work or wherever, or wake up in the middle of the night, or check in at lunch, rant a bit or not, and be among friends.

We advise you not to drink or drug and text your therapist ("T") - we speak from experience.

Sometimes the thread moves fast and you might get overlooked; sometimes it moves slowly and all you hear are crickets. Sometimes you get hugged or thanked pages later. So if it's a bigger question, you might want to start a new thread.

Grab a cushion, a spot on the floor, or an armchair in the corner and make yourselves comfy.

Rule #237
The social rule that one cannot claim to have a question to ask and then not ask the question.

[StressedMess]

Thanks for the new couch!

I have been reading but not posting. Well wishes for everyone who is hurting. Take care couchies!

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[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by unaluna

Rule #237
The social rule that one cannot claim to have a question to ask and then not ask the question.

There are very few things more annoying than this.

By the way, what are rules 1-236? I wanna know how many I’ve broken.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by atisketatasket

There are very few things more annoying than this.

By the way, what are rules 1-236? I wanna know how many I’ve broken.

I dont want you to turn into Sheldon TBBT! Here, have a warm beverage

[unaluna]

A city in my area - you know a hip destination town - is having parking problems. The main street district set up computerized parking that you are supposed to back into at an angle. People cant handle the app, and they really cant handle driving in reverse. Who needs youtube when the local news channels keep showing cars zig and zagging?!

They also said it's the younger drivers AND the older drivers that have the steering issue. They show people yelling at city council about why do they need to read a catalog in order to park.

So we've seen people getting frozen out because of computer illiteracy, but geez is it really too much to ask drivers to back up? It's not like they are backing up with a trailer!

[stopdog]

I hate those damn computer meters = and here they make them mandatory AND you have to pay a fee to use it. I ride my bike if going someplace where I know those meters are

[NP_Complete]

In my city you can pay for parking using an app or you can still go to a physical kiosk to pay by entering your plate number. I use the app because it's pretty easy and convenient. You just have to get the parking area code from a sign that's next to the kiosk. A couple of clicks and you're done. If you need to add extra time, you don't have to go back to your car, you can extend your time in the app. The extra 20 cents they charge in the app isn't going to make or break me.

[Quietmind 2]

I was surprised at how hopeless I feel when objectively, my life is more stable now...

Until I checked the date and it's a highly specific trauma anniversary. My T's latest homework set 2 weeks ago has been really painful to do.

My session is in a few hours and I feel this immense desire to pick a horrible fight with her, be all combative...

For what? How is that going to help this sense of hopelessness?

[Quietmind 2]

Originally Posted by Quietmind 2

I was surprised at how hopeless I feel when objectively, my life is more stable now...

Until I checked the date and it's a highly specific trauma anniversary. My T's latest homework set 2 weeks ago has been really painful to do.

My session is in a few hours and I feel this immense desire to pick a horrible fight with her, be all combative...

For what? How is that going to help this sense of hopelessness?

Blergh. I wonder if I'll snap at my T because she picked amazing (sarcasm) timing for her stupid homework. Last week was a public holiday, so no session. Next week, she's on leave, so no session.

And next week, I'm saying goodbye to my current psychiatrist whom I actually like.

[Daffydungle]

Saw this in a game and immediately thought of Una

[Daffydungle]

First i couldnt get thepic the right way and now its posted twice i give up

[LostOnTheTrail]

It was worth posting - thank you for not giving up before you posted.

[atisketatasket]

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

Saw this in a game and immediately thought of Una

Total una.

We are all her young kittens. Even stopdog.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, QM. I hope your therapy session ended up going well.

[MobiusPsyche]

Una: Wait, what? We are supposed to back into a parking space at an angle? No. I'm sorry, that was never on any driving test. I do not know how to do that. With my back-up camera, I *might* be able to manage it, but not without a great deal of anxiety and I would need whatever was in that shopping area a great deal before I would even attempt it. Like, why cannot I not buy something nearly as good online or go to a different salon across town? Is this doctor really that good?

Stopdog: How much does one have to pay to use the app? If it's only 99 cents to download the app and you get to use it for however long the app lasts, maybe? But if it's an extra 25 cents every time I park...sorry, no, that is an extra charge for accepting payment in a method other than cash. That would be fine with me, except that there is literally no way for me to pay with cash!!!

Rant incoming.

No. Do not force us into a cashless system. Such systems enable someone to track our every movement and, ultimately, those data could be shared with police, the FBI, marketing companies, who knows what entities. I mean, it's probably not worthwhile to do that for parking data but it is coming and YOU KIDS GET OFF MY LAWN!

Seriously, though, going completely cashless sounds convenient until something goes wrong and your balances are all suddenly zero. Or Russia hacks Chase Bank. Or there's a solar storm or magnetic storm that destroys things. Or... I'm not hoarding gold bars, but I'm not putting my FREAKING retirement savings into cryptocurrency, either!!! Do I have to change my accounts from Fidelity now? What a hassle.

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[Quietmind 2]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

Hugs, QM. I hope your therapy session ended up going well.

It went okay. She was very confused at first because I was very incoherent, but I had my notebook where I had written stuff. I don't remember when did I write a good part of it.

Then I picked a fight with her, because I didn't see a future for myself.

Possible trigger:

My sense of time is completely screwed and I was really suicidal... I am really disturbed whenever I'm made aware that another Self was out, even though it was a good thing because they told my T.

I initially refused to consider the sui hotline because I've had bad experiences.

I did promise to follow my safety plan, which includes taking a taxi to the psych ER even though inpatient would be traumatic.

I knew people who ended their life rather than go back there.

I'm done with social workers. They all say I did everything they can think of, so good luck.

If it was just me, okay fine. I'm just worthless since I can't work after destroying my health working in the same system which failed me. According to my nation's eugenics, I'm worthless if I can't contribute to the economy.

But they do this to minors who flee abuse because they're too old for CPS and not yet legal adults. Kids "forgive" CSA so they can have a roof over their head.

I promised my T I'll email her tomorrow afternoon. I don't deserve her care though. I'm just utterly worthless because I can't work.

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, QM, I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this and feeling so awful.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by Daffydungle

First i couldnt get thepic the right way and now its posted twice i give up

If something is worth doing, its worth doing twice!

Nothing has ever captured my essence, my drive, my whole life's philosophy, as succinctly as this.

Or, as the kids say nowadays, total una.

[SlumberKitty]

HUGS @Quietmind 2

[SlumberKitty]

So, I set up the Zoom appointment for my therapy appointment tonight at six because my therapist does not know how to do it. And I sent her my copay via Zelle. And I text messaged her to let her know these things were done.

T responded: Thank you. You are very thoughtful, reliable, helpful, responsible, considerate. I wish I could clone you so all my clients would have these gifts.

Um. I know that is supposed to be a compliment. So why does it make me feel bad?

Hmm. Maybe the depression I think I am in is putting a negative view on everything or making me feel bad for her other clients that aren't getting such praise. Or something. Ugh. Sometimes I hate interacting with T's because no matter what I do or say or what they do or say, I just end up feeling miserable and bad.

[SlumberKitty]

To make matters worse, I don't know exactly what I am going to talk about tonight in therapy. I have a vague sense of feeling depressed but it's going to be hard to put words to and I feel defeated so I don't think there is anything she or I can do about it anyway.

[SlumberKitty]

Una, thanks for the new couch! You are always so on top of that!

[SlumberKitty]

I have a vague feeling of paranoia today too but it is hard to pinpoint. I'm not sure if it is real paranoia or hyped up anxiety. Not sure whether to take a PRN Xanax or a PRN Lybalvi. One is for anxiety, one is for Schizoaffective Disorder. Hmmm. I definitely can't take both. I made that mistake before and ended up like a Zombie. I could hardly walk straight because of the medication.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by SlumberKitty

So, I set up the Zoom appointment for my therapy appointment tonight at six because my therapist does not know how to do it. And I sent her my copay via Zelle. And I text messaged her to let her know these things were done.

T responded: Thank you. You are very thoughtful, reliable, helpful, responsible, considerate. I wish I could clone you so all my clients would have these gifts.

Um. I know that is supposed to be a compliment. So why does it make me feel bad?

Hmm. Maybe the depression I think I am in is putting a negative view on everything or making me feel bad for her other clients that aren't getting such praise. Or something. Ugh. Sometimes I hate interacting with T's because no matter what I do or say or what they do or say, I just end up feeling miserable and bad.

If we're feeling bad about ourselves, it can be very difficult to accept compliments. Like maybe someone would tell me I'm a good friend, and I think, "No, I'm not," thinking of, say, a time I forgot to check in with them about something or how I probably talk about my own stuff too much (doesn't help that an ex-friend told me that). Or my employer might tell me I'm doing good at my job, and I think of the couple things that I missed/got wrong rather than the things I consistently get right.

Or with therapy, Dr. T has said positive things about me as a client, how I'm very engaged in the work, am always on time for session, am respectful of his boundaries, etc. But then, say, yesterday, when I walked right back to his office after I left to seek reassurance, I had the thought of "I must be his most annoying client ever."

I think this would actually be a good thing to mention to your T, particularly as it could be a symptom of depression.

[SlumberKitty]

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight

If we're feeling bad about ourselves, it can be very difficult to accept compliments. Like maybe someone would tell me I'm a good friend, and I think, "No, I'm not," thinking of, say, a time I forgot to check in with them about something or how I probably talk about my own stuff too much (doesn't help that an ex-friend told me that). Or my employer might tell me I'm doing good at my job, and I think of the couple things that I missed/got wrong rather than the things I consistently get right.

Or with therapy, Dr. T has said positive things about me as a client, how I'm very engaged in the work, am always on time for session, am respectful of his boundaries, etc. But then, say, yesterday, when I walked right back to his office after I left to seek reassurance, I had the thought of "I must be his most annoying client ever."

I think this would actually be a good thing to mention to your T, particularly as it could be a symptom of depression.

Good points, LT.