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#26
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![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#27
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Because if i were rightly rewarded, i would be president for all the initiative i've taken.
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![]() ElectricManatee, WarmFuzzySocks
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#28
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![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() AliceKate, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#29
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Manatee
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![]() ElectricManatee, SlumberKitty, WarmFuzzySocks
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#30
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Quote:
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() AliceKate, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() ElectricManatee, Quietmind 2, unaluna
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#31
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I am feeling so agitated. I know it is part of the schizoaffective disorder, but I don't get agitation very often, not this bad at least. I couldn't decide if I was hyper anxious or feeling paranoid so I didn't know what PRN to take but I finally decided to take the Lybalvi which is for the Schizoaffective Disorder, and which has some calming properties. Except I am not feeling very calm. I am having some trouble "sitting with myself" and I feel like I need to move, which unfortunately I am at work. I can take a walk to the water cooler or something but it's not going to settle down the part that feels so agitated. I keep rubbing my face and my hands and I'm sure it looks really odd and I'm trying to stop but I feel compelled to do it. I think I am anxious at the same time which is a lot of thoughts in my head that are difficult to sort. I think I am paranoid some today too which might just be a magnification of the anxiety, or it might be it's own manifestation, so I am trying to not feel watched and spied upon, at the same time, realizing that I am anxious and feeling like some stuff is out of my control. I am having a hard time being me at the moment. It does not help that I have very little to do at work at the moment, though I might get more work later. So I am having trouble getting sufficiently distracted or focused, so the face rubbing and hand rubbing goes on. I am trying to do deep breathing and meditation and stuff that I know should help but I am having trouble completing it. So I am talking about it here, of course, hoping someone will relate.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() AliceKate, ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight
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#32
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That's a lot to pay on top of what you're already paying her, Kit. Spending time setting up the session takes away from time that you could use to prepare for your appointment, or do self-care, or....
EM made some excellent points.
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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#33
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__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
#34
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Agitation is starting to feel a bit better. I'm still having it but it is lessening. I think the Lybalvi is helping the agitation but it's making my concentration crap.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() AliceKate
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#35
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Some really good points here! |
![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() Quietmind 2
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#36
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Took the insurance exam a second time today and didn't pass it again, now I have to decide if I want to take it a third time.
__________________
COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
![]() ElectricManatee, SlumberKitty, unaluna
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#37
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Repair shop called, where I have had my car for the past two days. They could not get it to replicate the sound. So they didn't fix anything. My Mom and Dad are going to go pick it up for me. Probably tomorrow when I drive my car again it will make the clunking sound again. That is my kind of luck!
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() LonesomeTonight, unaluna
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#38
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__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
#39
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I'm glad my thoughts were helpful to you, Kit. I also wanted to add -- in case it wasn't 100% clear -- that I don't think this is a little thing and I do think you are absolutely justified in feeling upset about it. I think most people would feel put out by it and especially people with any sort of neglect in their background.
I am generally a conscientious, responsible person too, and my impulse to "take care of" my T (as she puts it) has come up several times in different ways over the years. Sometimes I'm just being kind in a way that's in character for me, but sometimes I realize I am doing it because I (subconsciously) think she won't like me or want to help me if I don't please her, which is an unhelpful pattern from childhood. I also think it's okay to not bring it up with her if you don't feel like you can. Sometimes just recognizing what you feel and why is a huge accomplishment, even if you're not ready to do anything about it right now. |
![]() SlumberKitty, unaluna
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![]() LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
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#40
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It is, I think there are certain concepts that I can't seem to grasp no matter how many times I go over them.
__________________
COVID-19 Survivor- 4/26/2022 |
![]() LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#41
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Well, no charge for my car. Which is a nice break considering they did not actually fix anything. I'm sure the sound will start up in a day or two.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() LonesomeTonight, RTerroni
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![]() Quietmind 2
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#42
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Boy, I hate how I feel on the Lybalvi so I hardly ever take it. Then I forget how bad I feel on it. Then I mess up and take it again. I feel so depersonalized, so out of it, so dizzy and dazed. Like I just need to sleep it off. Good thing is I am having zero agitation now, zero paranoia, zero anxiety, if I have depression I'm too apathetic to care because I feel nothing with the Lybalvi. I'm a freaking Zombie.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() AliceKate, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete, unaluna
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![]() Quietmind 2
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#43
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Hugs if wanted SK
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![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() SlumberKitty
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#44
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I'm also really puzzled by how does she seem to have a number of clients but struggle with setting up Zoom? My T does telehealth across timezones (I learned that yesterday when I said I don't think I can, after I move countries) and I know she'd say that's the therapist's job to set up Zoom or whatever platform. |
![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#45
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I agree that this should be the responsibility of the T to set up. Zoom also seems relatively easy to set up--and I think she could opt to use the same meeting code for a particular client (mine has said he could have done that, but chose to create a new one each time for security reasons). That's good that your T will do sessions across time zones. Do you have any sense of when your move could be? |
![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() Quietmind 2
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#46
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I just looked it up, and it's fifteen bucks a month?! Yikes! Why does she not pay for it herself? And what does she do when the forty minutes are up? Just cut the session short? It seems like a raw deal for her clients all around. Whatever you pay for sessions should also be paying for her to buy her own software for her business.
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![]() SlumberKitty
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![]() LonesomeTonight, Quietmind 2, SlumberKitty
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#47
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I'm not too annoyed about the cost because I teach a class (to just one person, it's a religious class) on Saturday's and I would have needed it anyway to go longer than 40 minutes. And we typically use Zoom on Saturday mornings for an hour to an hour and 15 minutes. So it's not like I wouldn't have ended up paying for it anyway. I think I'm more bothered by her not setting it up and having things prepared for me. Like somehow, I'm not worth the hassle or bother of her learning a new skill. But she is 72 or 73. I think I would want people to give me grace if I still had to work at that age. So I will probably never tell her that it bothers me a little. It just hits on some nerves from being a child and not being properly looked after or taken care of. But I'm an adult now and I am capable of setting up Zoom for my therapist and as long as she is good in other areas, then I can overlook this. At some point I should bring up the feelings about not being taken care of in childhood properly but that's hard to do. Thank you all for helping me to walk through this emotions and figure them out. I feel less "bad" about myself now than I did yesterday.
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, WarmFuzzySocks
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![]() Quietmind 2
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#48
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Therapy last night was kind of difficult because I didn't have a lot to say. I should have talked more about the agitation and paranoia and anxiety that I had earlier in the day and the struggles I had after I took the PRN medication for it. Instead I mostly focused on things at work that were bothering me. It was a lighter session but it was okay because the T said she felt like she got to know me more. We also kind of briefly talked about a friend of mine who is not doing well physically and is on hospice and who is not expected to live that much longer. We probably should have worked through those feelings more but it was hard to think because of the medication that I took to deal with the paranoia and agitation and anxiety. Lighter sessions are good sometimes though. I didn't have any big crisis that needed to be discussed and she said she was glad I didn't have a big crisis every week.
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__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() ElectricManatee, LonesomeTonight
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![]() Quietmind 2
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#49
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Thanks, Kit. That's really validating for me. I'm glad I'm not the only one who prefers Zoom if it's not possible to work face to face. I find phone conversations challenging, a whole lot of 'You can't see me, but I'm nodding' on my end...
I'm sorry about your friend. It's OK to take hard things slowly when discussing them in therapy. (Maybe I should take my own advice.) HUGS
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few A man can see his way clear to the light 'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin |
![]() LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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![]() LonesomeTonight, SlumberKitty
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#50
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Thanks LT. and thanks for the HUGS
__________________
Dum Spiro Spero IC XC NIKA |
![]() LonesomeTonight
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Closed Thread |
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