[Mountaindewed]

I made a kinda rude comment today not directed towards my therapist but she said something about me being a green or a red Iight and to think before speaking and do I really want to get better. It was in regards to eating habits and weight. She said it at the end of our session and our internet connection kept breaking up real bad the whole session. I sent her an email asking her to explain it to me some more but I haven't heard back.

Does anyone know what a green light is?

[stopdog]

I would think it means you don't have much moderation - either all go or dead stop. You don't seem to like this one much - is there some other therapist you could try if you really want to keep seeing one

[ScarletPimpernel]

I agree with SD. I would interpret it as stop/go or all or nothing.

You seem really obsessed with this T and she doesn't seem to be helping you.

[AliceKate]

I don't know. It sometimes seems like she has a point to me. A patient needs to do work, too, right. I imagine you might tell her that from now on, you'll only eat when you feel like it and I get that she'd respond with some tough love comment. But yeah, if she isn't working for you because of her she's useless to you. If however she isn't working for you because you don't put in the work, then no other therapist will be useful, either, right?

No idea if I'm on cue here or totally off my rocker. Sorry for being insenstive... I know you've been struggeling with your physical health and I totally understand wanting to give yourself a break. I really don't know where the line is between wanting a break and needing to develop discipline. I think everyone has to define that line for themselves. So I get if you don't agree with my comment, and like I said, I'm totally not sure if I'm correct in saying that, either.

[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Others have made good points already, I just wanted to add: I think it's a metaphor based on the red and green lights on streets. Green means go, red means stop. So, somebody who always overthinks everything and takes a long time to answer, react and so on would be on the red side. And somebody who immediately speaks their mind without considering consequences would be green.

[Mountaindewed]

I get what you mean AliceKate. It makes sense. I do like this one and we are working well together. We don't have a lot of problems. We just seem to have opposite issues. At least on the surface. I am legit not trying to be rude, just stating a fact and as others have said in other posts, I don't know what her lifestyle is like. But I'm trying to say what I feel and try to be honest without coming off as offensive. She did say right before the whole green light thing that therapy was a safe space. Then after I said it I kinda felt like it wasn't.

[Rive.]

Traffic lights' signal: green = you're all good, proceed vs. red = penalty, stop, 'wrong'

As for her not replying, I don't know what her policy is re emailing with clients but this does not seem like an urgent question to email back about.

[Mountaindewed]

I told her she didn't have to reply. She never does anyways I just figured I'd give it a shot.

[Mountaindewed]

Thats why I haven't been freaking out about the email. Theres way worse stuff to freak out about now anyways

Are you interested in what causes you to make rude comments? It might be that your therapist's comment about red/green light was her initiating some investigation into what is happening for you when you are rude.

[Mountaindewed]

Originally Posted by comrademoomoo

Are you interested in what causes you to make rude comments? It might be that your therapist's comment about red/green light was her initiating some investigation into what is happening for you when you are rude.

I don't know. I mean I think I can just be a smartass at times to be honest. I plan on talking more about it with her on Tuesday. I ask her all the time though if I'm being rude and she always tells me that I am not. She says "why do you always think and ask if your being rude?"

So it is kind of hard to tell when I am and when I'm not.

[Mountaindewed]

I guess I just didn't get the whole metaphor thing and why she didn't straight up tell me not to be rude and to watch what I say. Wouldnt that have been easier then to leave a client hanging all weekend? Especially since she it did at the end of the session when we had crappy internet connection. Like just be honest and straight up tell me I'm being an asshole instead of using some traffic light hidden message thing.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by Mountaindewed

I guess I just didn't get the whole metaphor thing and why she didn't straight up tell me not to be rude and to watch what I say. Wouldnt that have been easier then to leave a client hanging all weekend? Especially since she it did at the end of the session when we had crappy internet connection. Like just be honest and straight up tell me I'm being an asshole instead of using some traffic light hidden message thing.

I agree that if that's what she was trying to say, she should have just been direct with you. Rather than expecting you to understand the metaphor. I hope she will clarify next session (or in an email before) and that you will feel better about things with her.

[Mountaindewed]

I met with her today. As soon as we sat down I brought it up. She apologlized and said she should have straight up meant what she said to say. She acknowleded my email. She says sometimes metaphors hit and sometimes they don't and she won't use them again. Then a few minutes later she started going on about something about a dog and I called her out about it and she was like "dang it I did it again" she never did explain the green light thing though when I asked about it. She just said if I did something wrong I would be told about it. My mom told me people with autism don't get metaphors.

[Salmon77]

The way I interpret the "green light" thing, anyway, I actually really like it as a way to think about how you're interacting with others. Like if I'm talking to someone I don't know very well, my words/body language could be showing them a green light ("keep going") or a red light ("stop talking to me").

I don't know what that would have to do with eating etc. though.