Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

I got The Dreamer, the power of imagination unleashed. Sure is spot on with the greatest challenge, learning to balance dreaming with disciplined action. Heh.

That was fun, @@. I enjoyed the video clips too.

Thanks, @@.

I'm another Dreamer, although I love writing regimented poetry.
Go figure.
The video clips were great fun!

Ha, when I was taking the quiz and got to that question, I thought "Wow, Stopdog would hate this question."

Could be!


Haha!

Hugs, if wanted. I'm sorry. It seems like something to talk to him about. You say "I'm having feelings about this still." It sounds like you're judging yourself for having the feelings, but I think they make total sense. He's sort of been teasing you with leaving for a long time now, so you haven't really been able to feel secure about his staying. I know I'd be having similar feelings (I mean, I have similar worries and no clear reason to think my T would leave).

I got The Dreamer - The power of imagination unleashed. "You’re deeply emotional and intuitive, with a vivid imagination—the quintessential idealist and romantic. The inner world is always where you’ve felt most at home. You’re happy to roam your mental landscape of thoughts, emotions, and fantasies for hours on end." yep that's me. i suppose that's why L's meandering-directionlessly-through-my-psyche method was so appealing to me for so long eh?

Interesting quiz though. The questions weren't the same old expected ones. At least, to me.

I got the Thinker. No surprise there. In fact, I almost didn’t take the quiz because I really don’t consider myself terribly creative. I’m more methodical.

I got Artist. Hmm.

Well, my son and his gf are leaving Saturday. We're getting together on Thursday evening for dinner. I am going to be bawling my eyes out when I have to say goodbye! I mean I know he'll only be a plane flight away, I know he's a grown man (he'll be 24 in a couple months), I know I know... but I'm still gonna miss him and the mama bear within feels like she won't be able to protect him as well when he's living 1300+ miles away. Not that he needs protecting but at least in the same town, I don't feel as helpless as I think I'm going to feel after he moves away. I'm feeling sad today.

Your oeuvre must be depictions of messes and hoarding. Or maybe smell art?

I actually liked that question. And I enjoyed the little video clips. I guess Couch lines have been drawn.

Im like andy warhol - multiples of canned goods.

My cousin's kids just moved to the northwest too. Must be a real pilgrimage going on.

We've talked about my feelings about the whole ordeal from when he first told me through the plans never being set. He's said several times he wishes he could go back in time and not tell me, but I always respond that he kinda had to at the time because he was going to be leaving in a few months and I definitely needed to know with advanced warning.

The last thing he's told me about is that he's taking the next 6 months (I guess 5 now) to study for his exam and make some career decisions. I get the feeling that he may not quit being a therapist altogether, but I'm certainly not letting myself believe that he's not going somewhere else eventually. Basically, he knows how incredibly painful and difficult this process has been for me, even though I tend to play my cards close to the chest most of the time and not share his impact on me with him.

I would say he has an ethical and professional responsibility to lessen the impact on you as much as possible. I agree with you that he did need to tell you initially, but then does he have to update you again and again with every change to the timeline? Sometimes with conflicting information? How does he expect effective therapy to take place under these conditions?

Excellent post, @@.

Many people who are in recovery from serious trauma rely on the therapist as a source of predictability and security. If this person can't offer that, then he should work to minimise the impact...if necessary through referring to another skilled provider.

NP - I am well aware that's probably not what you need to hear. I'm sorry that P is behaving in this way.

Must be. It IS really beautiful up there, I must admit. I've seen pictures of where there apartment is located and it's a nice little area. I'm doing my best to look forward to planning the first of probably many trips to visit!

I don't really like fortune cookies or birthday cake. The questions sounded like how the woman spoke - no sense at all. Alice through the Looking Glass. With no real context, it is just like stabbing in the dark. I do remember a time when the woman asked me something and I asked context and she said it didn't matter - madness I tell you. So I answered it in 14 different ways as a start - there were many more - I was just making a point.

The northwest is pretty. I went to a wedding up there in the Cascades with my person and we met someone whose job was to play the harp for the dying. I guess some kind of hospice worker but she wasn't a nurse -she just showed up close to when the person was about to let go of this life. It sounded interesting but I personally want trumpets or dixie land. All that harp plinking would just piss me off.

I honestly think you should try to tell him how he has impacted you NP. I think his flip flopping has made it much harder on you and you deserve better then to be dragged through this for the past two years or so. Giving you a real end date and counting s owns 20 or 50 sessions would have been kinder.

I had my phone interview for disability today but for some reason they were only accepting my application for SSI and not SSDI.

I have had so much trouble with my Schizoaffective symptoms this month at work. I have asked for accomodation and stuff and today I was having trouble doing a task because it wasn't really clear. Anyway my difficult colleague got frustrated with me and was not too nice. She said she wasn't unkind but her tone was unkind. Anyway I mea culpa'd all over the place but I don't think it mattered to her. So I have to figure out how to do better tomorrow and the next day and the next day. Etc. So she can see that.

It's frustrating because she always says she will help me and then when I ask her for help she doesn't help me. I must be a moron because I haven't figured out not to ask her for help. I got overwhelmed today by a lot of tasks getting thrown at me and I did my best I think but it wasn't good enough. I talked to the owner and she soothed me some but it was a very messy day at work.

I wish someone that I work with could understand what it is like to work while having hallucinations, delusions, paranoia etc. Like I am really doing my best. I'm just not enough.

had my weekly call with my coach a little bit ago, today she walked me through a short guided meditation, which was very fitting for me as it was imagining myself leaning up against a tree, feeling the bark against my back, feeling grounded, centered, balanced. She said our brains are just organs, they can't tell the difference between reality and imagination. I guess that's why nightmares can be so terrifying, our brains think they're really happening. I'm going to miss these weekly calls when they're done! that was already the 3rd one of 8.

(...and C, yes, I did just catch myself trying to live in the future. stop it artie! come back to the present.)

IIRC, thats just how they process it. First they check to see if you are eligible for SSI. Then they go from there.

I dont remember, do you have work history? Because SSDI amount is based on that. But pretty sure they start with the SSI process regardless. I remember thinking, im not asking for that, i know im not eligible, and the lady was like, its just what we do.

Hope things are bearable on the homefront

Thats a good way of explaining the real / not real thing, that the brain is just an organ.

Nobody has figured out what a mind is though, right?