Couch 239: Cape Coral Couch

Oh no! I hope you're feeling better soon!

I'm feeling sadness this evening about my son moving away. He told us today when he was here visiting, that he really hates living in Arizona. I'm fighting to not feel guilty for moving here in the first place. But I can't beat myself up for that; we moved here mostly because his asthma was so bad in California, and the air quality is so much better here. I do feel awful about the bullying he had to put up with in middle school. But, I do know that he loved high school he was in marching band which he loved and he found his career - that's allowing him to move to a state he wants to live in - at that same high school. So I know I should not beat myself up for 'making' him move here when he was what, 8 or 9? He wasn't exactly happy in California either, there were a couple really messed-up kids that he had to deal with in boy scouts that kinda bullied him there too. But I am just sad that he's leaving and going so far away, and really fighting with myself internally over this stuff. I don't know why I do this - perseverate on the mistakes we made with him instead of focusing on the many things we must have done right to have raised a young man who is doing so well in his life that he's able to embark on this exciting adventure, moving himself and his lady love to a beautiful state, to a new job doing what he loves, making a lot more money than I do. I'm so happy for him and so sad at the same time. It's hard to hold both emotions.

Hugs, Artie. It seems like you're doing a good job of balancing the good stuff with the negative, at least as you've written it here. I understand how hard it can be to focus on the things you did right, as I struggle with that, too. But it sounds like you raised a great son.

Artie, your son sounds like a wonderful human being. I know it must be hard not to beat yourself up, but you definitely seem like a "good enough" parent.

NP: OMG. Septic anything sounds absolutely horrific. I hope you are okay.

I want to go home. Been waiting 3 hours and I want to lay down somewhere comfortable with a fricking blanket cause I keep having chills. Not with my head on the wooden couch arm.

Hey artie - my cousin has said and i feel a lot of the same things about her kids moving. They are brother and sister, and that blows my mind that they are that close. She definitely must have done something right. I didnt see them a lot, but this woman has the proverbial heart of gold. Moving for your kid's asthma was not a mistake.

I don't think all my blood work is back yet, but they're admitting me to the hospital again. I'm not producing enough urine apparently since they needed a sample and they got about 4 drops literally. They're giving me IV fluids and antibiotics. Being admitted feels like overkill to me though. Maybe it's more serious than I'm imagining it is.

If you're possibly septic and not producing enough urine, those are both symptoms that would lead to your needing to be admitted (well, definitely suspected sepsis). Maybe it's a UTI that moved to your kidneys or something like that?


I hope you get answers soon and have a very short hospital stay.

It's just that other than almost passing out a few times today, I was actually feeling better. It feels like I don't really need to be here.

NP—something similar happened to my cousin at the start of August. Backed up urine due to a an enlarged prostate>>sepsis>>kidney failure. He didn’t help matters by not seeking treatment until it was almost too late (as in, would have died in a couple days without it).

He’s now in a nursing home for the foreseeable future—or will be, hopefully, he got there a couple days ago and almost immediately had to be rushed back to the hospital, where he now is.

Especially if there’s a danger of affecting the kidneys, as LT said, you don’t want to play around with sepsis. So please just hang in there, OK?

I think it's best that you stay in the hospital until they figure out what's wrong @NP_Complete

NP I'm sorry you're stuck in the hospital. Hopefully you have a comfortable bed now. Sending good thoughts for healing.

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I hope your cousin will be OK. When I had my first UTI in college, I waited longer than I should have for treatment. The doctor at the student health center put the fear in me about it possibly leading to kidney infection and not to wait in the future.

Of course, then I probably took it too far in the other direction, as whenever I felt any possible symptoms, I went there for a urine test, though it was only a few times really. I think one other time I actually had one, but I still felt better getting checked (and it was free).

I was dealing with the situation ok until I was providing another sample, this time with a full bladder, and the aide opened the bathroom door twice unnecessarily while I was in there. I am 100% ready to go home where I have an acceptable level of privacy.

Ugh, I'm sorry.


Any updates on what they think is going on?

That is not at all cool that she opened the door while you were in the bathroom! Sorry you're going through that.

Question for the couch: if you just switched doctors and your PCP is an ***hole who doesn't seem to want to help you, would you try to change doctors? Even if he's ordered treatments for you?

Forgive me if this is long...

I switched to H's PCP when my insurance stopped covering the clinic I went to because I moved to a different county. He's a total ***. He threatened to put me on dialysis because of my weight and diet, NOT because my kidneys are bad (they're actually fine). He told me that I had to lose 3lbs a month (which isn't bad or impossible, but he doesn't even know my history of weight loss. He had a fit over my psych meds... He assumed a lot of wrong information about me (that I eat a lot of fast food, and I eat red meat). And he put me on a statin even though I told him I refuse to take it unless on birth control. I had blood labs done and he forgot to put my A1C. He had me go for the ultrasound of my liver, and has yet to talk to me about the plan of action. Oh, and he doesn't want to see me again for 6 months! A1C is supposed to be every 3 months...

I hate him so much, but I've already been following his suggestions. And I still have a gyno appointment he referred me to which I really need.

I just don't know if it's worth dealing with him. He doesn't seem to care. I'm used to my doctor who at least pretended to care (she left me hanging in the end).

Do you care about your PCP's bedside manners? Or does it not matter so long as your specialist are good? Should I even bother contacting him about my ultrasound results?

As much as I find House entertaining to watch, and he'd definitely figure out what was wrong with you, I don't think I'd want him as my regular doctor. I'd switch, especially if you have chronic health conditions that require more regular follow up as opposed to someone who only sees the doctor when they're acutely ill.

Is he assuming you eat the same diet as your H?

How can he threaten you with dialysis? That doesnt make any sense to me.

My problem is kinda the opposite - i would prefer 6 months between blood tests - three months is just long enough for me to finally make some habits. Then going to the dr upsets me and halts my progress.

My new doctor is pretty young and seems alright. He will email with me if i send him like my blood pressure and blood sugar.

I recently switched PCPs because I had one who didn't listen to me, and now I want to switch again. I think it's important to find a doctor who listens and understands. I think you can still keep the gyno appointment even if you switch PCPs.

They put this thing, I can't remember what they called it, in the toilet that catches your urine so you don't have to aim for the cup. (Don't men have that task so much easier? I'm always surprised if any of it hits the cup, but maybe that's just a me problem.) First she opened the door to tell me to not put my TP in that contraption. Ok, but you could have just said that through the door. But then as I was finishing up she opened it again to ask me if I was done yet. I was just annoyed at that point. Just because I'm on your floor as a patient doesn't mean I don't deserve to keep as much dignity and privacy as possible.

As a general update, they're not 100% sure what was/is? going on with me because they didn't do a urine culture in the ER, maybe because I didn't give them enough to work with, I don't know the reason for that. They sent me home with an antibiotic that's apparently powerful enough that you only need 4 pills over 2 days. I think it's the same thing they gave in my IV. It could be a UTI that got worse than normal involving bladder and/or kidneys or some virus. Still not feeling 100% but maybe I'll get there soon.

I hope the antibiotics do the trick!

Ive heard it called a top hat. Seriously! My arms are getting to short to use that teeny tiny cup. I am also always amazed i hit it.

Geez youd have to be a moron to put tp in it! Poor lady that she's apparently had to deal with that! Boy and i thought my job was bad!

"What doesnt kill you..." is just a pain in the posterior to deal with, pain and appointments and prescriptions. "... is not preferable!"

I hope so, too, NP!

I definitely care about mine. I need someone who listens to me and takes me seriously, which I have now. And who also doesn't use scare tactics, like it seems yours was trying to do with the dialysis.

First, I would definitely contact him about the ultrasound results, just to see what he says. It could take some time to get into a new PCP, so if it's anything you need to be dealing with sooner than later, better to talk to him, even if he sucks. In the meantime, I'd try to make an appointment with a new one. And it should still be fine to see the gyn he referred you to (unless your insurance requires referrals, in which case maybe see the gyn before switching PCPs, as I don't know how that works).