Couch 240: The Vanadis Couch

Thanks, Kit.

It is sad, and yet not surprising that it's taken something like this for people to start speaking up in favour of change. Because of the pantomime going on in UK politics, the Online Harms Bill got sidelined, and one of the key players resigned...I'm hoping that something will be done now.

Now it's the "checking my phone every two seconds" sort of uncomfortable unknowingness.

Since she cancelled on me, one would think that she would be proactive about rescheduling me? Or maybe that is just my flawed thinking.

I'm trying hard to "not go there" into those thoughts that mean that this slip of the mind does not mean that she does not care about me. I know that she does. I just need to be patient and not take things personally.

Hugs, NP. I struggled when ex-MC and ex-T changed offices, too. It's hard.

Hugs, Kit. I think it's fine you texted her. Dr. T doesn't really count scheduling texts/emails as outside communication, so I doubt she'd be bothered by it. It's completely reasonable to want to find out when you can schedule a session.

Some T's just aren't that organized in terms of scheduling--I get the sense yours may be like that just in general, that it has nothing to do with you. But I understand why you worry about it, as I would, too! Once, ex-MC took forever to reschedule with us, and I ended up having ex-T leave him a note I wrote. He did get back to us after that.

So Dr. T and I just resumed handshakes at the end two weeks ago. Today, I nearly forgot to shake his hand, like we were saying goodbye, I turned to walk out the door, then I was like, "Oh, right!" And turned back to him and held out my hand. He just sort of shook his head (and then shook my hand). I mean, we'd gone 2.5 years without doing that, including maybe 5 months back in the office. So makes sense I'd have gotten out of the habit. It's just funny that I was the one who forgot.

Welcome to the South. Hurricane season. My local government decided not to close us today. I stayed up too late watching the news and was exhausted all day, hardly anyone came in, and there was nothing to do past 10am. Home safe and soaked now, whew. Stay safe couchies!

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Be safe, StressedMess!

T left me a voicemail. I couldn't answer the phone because I'm at work and I'm doing stuff and one of the bosses is walking around. I guess she is driving which is why she couldn't text. She was basically like we can have a session whenever you want it. Saturday/Tuesday/whatever. She also told me that her biller had been billing the incorrect insurance (which is what I thought all along) so she hasn't been getting paid for my appointments (which I told her twice) from my insurance. So she thanked me for bringing it to her attention. I first brought it to her attention in like June. But she didn't listen to me. I brought it to her attention again this month. But the sucky thing is they will only let you go back six months so she will miss out on some payments from early in the year. And two, all those copays that I paid that I shouldn't have had to because I would have hit my out of pocket maximum faster and which I will never be reimbursed for. We are talking like at least a thousand dollars. Sucks.

I try to change our towels twice a week, hand towels a bit more often. However, my partner has the same worries about drying different bodyparts with the same towel, so he has a separate towel for head and the rest of the body.

I guess now I have to decide if I want a Saturday session or a Tuesday session or both.

What your partner does is what I do. And we wash towels about twice a week, and maybe more often now and again.

I am glad you are home safe - hurricane season is scary I always thought when living down in an area that was not right on the coast but close enough to get hit by the rain part of them

I never really thought about how often I change towels - usually whenever I think of it -probably within a two week period - depends a lot on the humidity levels around here - more often when it is really humid. Or if I had to use my towel to dry off the dogs - I wash them then

H's lengthy first appointment for the liver study went pretty well today. They asked him a ton of questions and did a full physical exam with a couple extra things specifically for this study, and now he waits to see if he qualifies to move on to the next step or not.


There's a thunderstorm brewing outside right now..... dark clouds moving over... my cats are bopping around the house all nervous (they don't like thunder) so I better go distract them.

Well, that sucked. He'd already moved a lot of the stuff out, so the room looked bare and it sounded different. He was also not having an "on" day, understandably. I felt shut down. Unfortunately, our last session was very intense and I really needed to feel connected to him today. After our last session, which I left sobbing, he told me to reach out if I needed to. So I did and he didn't respond until this morning to change our appointment time. So I doubly needed to reconnect today and it just didn't happen. Thankfully his trip next week got cancelled, but it feels like forever until we can talk again and when we do, it'll be in a foreign space. And I have to decide if I'm going to renew my restraining order and meet with a new doctor before we meet again. Feeling overwhelmed at the moment.

I'm really sorry, NP, that sounds awful. Hugs, if wanted. Will you at least be able to meet next week then?

Ugh, that sucks, Kit! I guess there's no way to get the money back?

We're meeting Wednesday next week. I really, really needed some connection today and it feels like so far away until we talk again. I know I'm probably a harder client to work with, but it felt like he wasn't even trying today. I get it. He's in the middle of this move and it sounds stressful with all the stuff he had to do. It just came at a really inopportune time in our work together since our previous session I shared something that I felt really ashamed to share and it took us about 3 or 4 sessions to work up to that point and I was really upset when I left that day. And he didn't respond to my post-session email that he said I could send except in passing to apologize for not responding while requesting a time change.

just switched over to my new laptop (after returning the first new one, i got another one that doesn't have that operating system thingy I already forgot what it is called). I think I'm just about done setting it all up. So, it is laundry time. H took a job up to Phoenix earlier, so I have a quiet house for another 3 hours.

I'm struggling so much right now with this Wednesday. I'm still going through with the IUD, but it's killing me. I think I'm making the right decision by putting off trying to get pregnant. I mean now is not the right time anyways, and since I'm basically going to be a single mother, I need to get into better shape. The surgery will help immensely, least I'm hoping so. It's just so hard. What if doing this makes me too old to get pregnant?

This week my insurance did approve me to see a bariatric surgeon. My appointment is not until November 15th however. But at least it's on the calendar.

hugs, scarlet.

Also sending hugs to you, Scarlet.

well it took me half the day, but i finally got my printer working on new laptop! exhausted every bit of memory I still had from when I did web design in the good old days and used to know stuff about computers. I sure don't anymore hahaha

Printers are a whole other beast. I work with computers and my social circle consists of plenty of young computer fanatics and programmers. Printers are the single most hated object I think. Nobody knows how to get them working and it all seems to be this big black box for 99.9% of people. Don't worry about not understanding them!

This reminds me, we have just moved and I tried setting up our printer a few days back. The status so far is computers can't find the printer and we have to print from USB if we need to...

I finally gave up on the wifi connecting and plugged into usb, but it still wasn't finding the printer. At one point, it found it as a scanner only!! I was like whaaaa... you can see it as a scanner, but not as a printer?! I just kept messing around with it, re-installing drivers over and over, restarting, etc and lo and behold one of the times boom there it was.