T’s life circumstance

The last few months have been pretty choppy with my T. She went away on vacation for a while which I had really hard time with. Then her father died soon after she came back. So she was off again. Then she got sick for a couple of weeks. And now her mother is not well and in hospital.

Last session also brought up some painful memories so that’s not great.

It just makes this whole process seem like a waste of time. Like I can’t trust it because I can’t trust life. None of it is her fault, I can’t fault her for it. It’s just hard.

Knowing these things about her make me worry as well, like what a horrible time she must be having.

It’s sucks. I don’t know how to deal with this all without her.

Sometimes we forget that our therapist is also a human being that has to
deal with life occurrences just like anybody else. It does suck when they're not
able to be there for us. But yet this is the core of what therapy is all about.
To be able to deal with our lives when they're not there anymore. Eventually we
need to become our own therapist because we're going to be out there , alone
or not. And certainly with troubles. Sometimes it does seem like a waste. I found
later on that all I really needed to replace the T was a good friend who knew how to
listen and really cared about my well-being.

I sure do understand how you're feeling, I think. My therapist of 3 1/2 years has fragile health and there have been periods of time when she was suddenly (absolutely no advanced notice) gone for up to 4 months. Zero contact between us during that long stretch of time.


No, it's not your t's fault, not is it her choice, when illness strikes. That said, it is also not your fault, nor your choice, to be profoundly and negatively effected by her unpredictable absences.

I have hung in there with my inconsistent therapist, but ohhh, it has not been easy! The good times are wonderful; the bad times are sheer hell.

I do suggest that you talk with your t about how you're feeling. That's important. Aside from talking with her, my only suggestion is to have a back-up therapist to see during the times yours is away.

I wish you well with it all. I certainly understand.

Quote:

Originally Posted by moodyblue83 ...Eventually we need to become our own therapist...

Yes. However, it's the "eventually" that counts in the sentence. When we're ready. When that time arrives. Having repeated interruptions during the course of therapy, before "eventually" comes can be extremely destructive.

I totally understand. Our T has had a few big big issues in her life the past 2 years and its really hard to be patient when a month may go by without us talking. I want so bad for her to get her feet back under her. Its starting to happen, finally,but its just been incredibly tough.