Couch 241: Twin primes!

Exhausted!

Hugs, Kit! I hope you can get some rest.

I had a restful day. The pet store was out of the self-refill kitty litter so I have to go back tomorrow but I went next door to Ross and bought a really cute new shirt, just for fun as I hardly ever buy clothes and it was only $8.99. Will probably wear it tomorrow when I go see L, as it is super soft and comfy. Between kicking back on the couch reading today, I got 2 loads of laundry done. Having today off was just the ticket and tomorrow should help even more (especially since our mandatory overtime at work has been extended until the end of February now).

i slept late this morning so now i'm not tired

I hope it goes well with L today, Artie!

Thanks, LT I appreciate that! I'm pretty sure it will. I am going in with a clear intention of what I want/need from this session, and plan to keep it focused on the present as much as possible. eta: I just realized that I feel like a different person now than the one who walked out of her office over a year ago. I wonder if she'll notice at all?

I hope your appointment goes well Artie! I hope you get what you are looking for!

I'm still really tired from yesterday. Too much emotional stress I think. I took some sleep medicine last night and I am just now starting to feel more like myself. And I have been up since 4 AM! It is now just past 9 AM! My Dad was a dear and brought me and my coworker a coffee so that is helping a lot. Caffeine!

My Mom's Foster Mom arrives today. My parents are picking her up at the airport. She can be kind of critical so I am both looking forward to and dreading her visit. Hmm. Maybe more of that emotional stress!

I bought a few puzzles for us to do since she is older and doesn't like going out much and she is really good at puzzles. I got a King Tut one (I thought of you @@) and I hope we get to that one because it looks really fun.

I'm a bit worried how Zoey (my beagle) will do. She can get crazy, and excited, and run around and jump on people--but ordinarily she is a good dog. But my Mom gets upset and then yells at her and then Zoey barks and then it just seems to escalate. I tell my Mom that when we get loud, Zoey gets loud. She forgets though, as she has memory issues.

Slumber i loooove how your dad brings you coffee at work! That is just so sweet! It reminds me of one of my uncles. He did just EVERYTHING for family, and he served meals on wheels.

I am anxious today but I do not want to take anxiety medicine because I just stopped feeling sleepy. But my chest is all tight and my breathing is shallow. I will try to do some deep breathing and see if that helps.

Yes, my dad is pretty awesome!

My session today went really well and I'm very glad I went. I got what I wanted & then some. I'm running some errands now, more later.

If you like beans are in the us - try rancho gordo heirloom beans. I didn't think I would be able to tell a difference but I can. I have tried 6 varieties (Red, white, black, christmas limas(yum),and so on) and like them all. Also - they begin dry normal sized but after soaking they are super huge - bigger than my local grocery store soaked beans.

I never buy coffee from a vendor unless out of town. At home I make my own and at work I drink green tea. I would be super shocked if someone brought me coffee out of the blue. I have never had any of the flavored coffee drinks because the time I tasted a friend's -it was way too sweet for me.

I'm extremely devastated. L made a suggestion today to talk to H about and H was 100% against it. He made me feel embarrassed and ashamed and like I was gross and disgusting and even slutty. I'm really sad because she made that suggestion to help me with a sex problem, and now I'm in a worse place than I was. I'm mad at L for getting my hopes up, and I'm mad at H for basically insulting me. I will never talk to H about that subject matter again.

I'm so sorry, Scarlet. It's good you tried to reach out to your H, and I'm sorry he caused you such shame. Hugs, if wanted.

Scarlet - there were a few very good books back in my day to normalize all kindsa sex for women. Try My Secret Garden, and The Hite Report.

Sd - for me it would be a control issue. I decide when and how much coffee i drink!!!

Thanks LT and Luna!

What was suggested wasn't even that "bad" imho. (Not saying any consensual sex is bad.).

Thanks for the book suggestions, Luna. My therapist when I was 20 gave me the book What Your Mother Never Taught You About Sex. That helped me a lot since I had no education back then. I'll look into those...if H let's me buy them.

Oh Scarlet I'm so sorry. Hugs if wanted.

Back home from my errands after seeing L. I'm glad I went in with a clear intention both for what I wanted, and to stay in the present and not bring up anything from the past. The feeling seen and the peaceful acceptance were both there and it was just what I needed and hoped for. I have an idea now that time-limited works a lot better for me than open-ended! Today I knew I had only one hour, and I absolutely made the most of it.