Trauma work

Today in therapy I told my therapist that i want to start working on trauma with her. I have allot of unresolved issues with my Grandpa that interfer with my life today and how I cope with stressful events.

10 years ago he passed away on Feb 9th. Somedays are just super hard for me to get through.

We talked allot about dissociation how it's protecting me allot in my life. It also is fustrating because I get so numb from everything.

I am starting to work on what really brought me to therapy.

I wish you the best with your upcoming trauma work Taylor. It is not easy but very worth it. I have been working with my trauma T for about 5 years now. When I started I was totally in Numbsville. Through EMDR, DBT skills class, and mindfulness training I can honestly say I am out of Numbsville. I still have a long way to go, (he says it depends on how much trauma you have to work through and I have A LOT). I only say so you don't get discouraged and think it will take you forever to fell better. Sometimes I want to quit because I am no longer numb and feel better. To me this is the best I have ever felt in my life. He says while I may feel better, I CAN feel much better, I just have no idea what that is like.

So stick with it, believe you can feel better.

I've experienced the opposite. Working through trauma has been hard and painful... and worth it. Sometimes it feels worse than when I started. L says that's normal because as our window of tolerance grows, so does our ability to feel the pain. I say it's worth it because I am seeing positive changes in myself and how I react to my world around me. I'm better able to tolerate triggers, able to set better boundaries, am actually able to feel joy, and have experienced long strecthes of stability. So if it ever feels hard or painful, know that it's okay and still beneficial. It does get better.