Trauma Work

My T and I decided that we will begin trauma work next week. I have no idea what that entails and am a bit anxious about it. I asked my T, and he laughed saying, "Why, would that affect your decision?"....I said, "Maybe"....He said that we would work together on it. *sigh*

I sometimes have severe panic attacks....and each of those panic attacks brings me through every horrific event that has happened in my life. It's like one flashback after another, and I can't seem to stop them once it's happening.

My T said that the point in dealing with the trauma is to deal with the pain without having it be set off by a panic attack.

The problem is.....Knowing that I will be dealing with the trauma work next week will most likely cause panic before going into my next session. I'm worried that we won't be able to deal with just one thing at a time, because everything just floods back in at once.

How do I prepare myself to not feel panic....and to be able to separate the memories so that I'm not dealing with them all at once?

Mixedupemotions,

Like your t said, the purpose of trauma work is to be able to work through the pain, yet not get overwhelmed with emotion or have a panic attack. That means pacing it and taking things slow enough so you don't get emotionally flooded. But if you are worried, I suggest you mention this concern again when you see him before you start the trauma work. Just let him know that you want to take things slowly, so it doesn't overwhelm you. You do not want to feel retraumatized by it. Also, alot of trauma t's and their clients agree to some kind of visual signal or code word that the client can use to let the t know that they are beginning to feel overwhelmed and need to stop. Maybe you and your t could also arrange for that. That way, you feel in control of how much you are able to process at any given time.

(((((((((( M U E ))))))))) if you are feeling anxious now, and are thinking your anxiety may increase before you ever get in the door again, why not contact T now and ask for some help in dealing with that. He may be able to set your mind at rest.

for what it's worth I found that T would approach the subject so gently, over so much time, and in such small bits, that HER end of it was hardly threatening - what was damaging was MY anticipation, which was hell... don't do that to yourself - don't keep all the anxiety inside like I did. Yr T is there to help you.
PM me any time if you want SAWE

If you are anxious about it, I think he should give you more information. Of course the techniques might affect your decision! If you knew something was planned that you were not on board with, you very well might choose a more gradual approach. I think he could ease your anxiety a lot by explaining more about his approach to trauma treatment. My T spent a session or two talking to me about EMDR before we actually did it. Plus, I had a month to think about it and read a book on trauma he recommended (Waking the Tiger) and another on EMDR. There's no reason not to be informed, especially when it can head off panic and anxiety. I hope you will insist your T be more forthcoming about his treatment approach.

MUE

I agree with Sunny, it's good to know beforehand what the treatment approach will be - at least it was for me! I am glad that I read about EMDR, even though I then anticipated what might happen.

I did some heavy trauma work with T for the first time on Monday. I learned the hard way that there is no way to anticipate what will come out of the trauma work - all these old emotions that had been buried deep came up for me, and was it ever intense! I had to stay home from work, call T and go in for an emergency session! But I learned through this that I can count on my T, no matter what. And I learned that I can lean on my support system when I need it.

I still have a long way to go, and I don't know that I won't see any more of those dark days as we continue with the trauma work - I probably will! But now I know that I can get through it, and that I am healing. Good luck to you as you continue along this journey!

T and I have never planned trauma work...it just comes up when it comes up. For ME, it would be a hard thing to plan. Although I do think that T sometimes discourages me from it, depending on where I'm at emotionally and what else is going on in my life.

In my experience, T has been very careful with trauma work. I think he tries to pace things in such a way that I don't get overwhelmed. Before we started any trauma work, we worked a lot on containment. It took a lot of trial and error to figure out what works best for ME when it comes to containment. I have a box that I painted that sits in his office, and for a long time he wanted me to imagine putting things in the box, but it never really worked. What DOES work for me is writing. I sometimes write things down on little slips of paper that I put in my box before I leave his office. At home, it helps to write things down too - it gets them out of my head and makes them more concrete and easier for me to deal with. Sometimes I can use the office itself as a container - and imagine T there, holding everything for me until I can deal with it.

I agree that it might make you feel less anxious if you knew exactly what to expect in the appointments when you process trauma.

This is hard work... to you!

My T when she suggested we try one of the EDMR type techniques did not give me a whole lot of information about the technique before the session. However she did indicate WHY she was being a bit vague-she knew I would look it up and research it before coming if she did. Which... I technically did anyway with the little information she did give me. I am also a person that doesn't like surprises and want to know exactly what I'm going to be doing before I choose to engage.

My experience with my own "trauma work" has been its not some stand alone thing I've done for a few sessions then we are done with it. We just seem to move into talking about some traumatic stuff, things get intense, she may use a technique or two or give me some instructions to do when stuff surfaces after the session, I deal with the fallout from digging around in the past, then move into another issue for a while. Eventually we work our way back trauma again and chip away at it some more. Sometimes I wish I could just do trauma work where you just vent and purge it all at once, flip out for a while if necessary, and then its over and done with. But... I don't think my organism works like that.

This is how it is for me too. I can't imagine it having a "beginning" and an "ending"...I need to be able to delve into it and back out of it.

for me, because there are so many things i'm trying to manage, we really did have to decide to "begin" trauma work. a huge part of that was me finally acknowledging that i trusted pdoc enough to go there, and him reassuring me that he had the skills and competency to handle it ok and be there for me as i needed him.

he was kind enough to set up an appt 2 days following the decision, so that i didnt have to sit with it for a whole week. i was in such a state of panic when i got there - i think pdoc was genuinely surprised - and he immediately went into doctorly mode checking my pulse, making me sit, drink water etc. we spent a big chunk of that session talking about my fears about disclosing and he just kept on making it safe and safe and safe. i think i disclosed a tiny bit, towards the end, but only as much as i could manage. it was also a bit of a test - see if pdoc would still want me at the end of it.

he called me two days after, just to check in with me and make sure i would be ok for the weekend. i think i am lucky that pdoc is able to be very giving of his time, because i think we moved to twice weekly sessions and he would also call me or i would could him in between. it helped a lot with the panic, and with being reassured that pdoc still liked me.

um. i think we only did it for 3 weeks before i was like - enough! we tend to work like that - leave it until we decide another look is warranted. pdoc says we still have work to do in that area, that i'm just at the beginning, and that makes me scared about what more i have to do. but the actual experience of doing trauma work with him was so much in my control the whole time that it was ok, i know he wont let me get overwhelmed and wont force me to do something i dont want to.