Trauma Work

I was told I need to do "trauma work." Have you all done this for your past or current abusive stuff?

Yes ...

It's tough work, but well worth it.

im not sure I want to. I really don't know what it is exactly.

I've just started... In my case, first I'm learnig coping skills i.e. What to do if I am in crisis, have flashbacks etc - no talking about the abuse at all... I've only mentioned who, what and when in one sentence - T says that it's too early to say anything more... Then I learn how to recall positive memories... Like to make a timeline with all good things which have happened to me, think about them/imagine them, how I felt then etc... My T uses emdr technique, so it's a bit more complicated than just thinking about it the goal is probably to replace my feelings from the bad memories with feelings from the good memories - like e.g. I was not a c**p, I couldn't have done anything amd it was not my fault etc... There are however various approaches for trauma work...

A couple of years ago, I asked my T what he thought about me going to EMDR. His answer was that EMDR is most effective to people who are dealing with one type of abuse. Sometimes, a second type (single event) may be added successfully.

If one has had different types of abuse occurring at different times, some single events &/or repetitive, EMDR has not shown itself as being particularly helpful to them.

He, therefore, didn't think that EMDR would help me. Unfortunately. I have continued to see this T, however, and my trust in him has significantly increased. I think that I may have finally found the right T for me to work through things with!

Hmmm that's interesting, in my case there were different types of abuse occuring at different times, some single events, other repetitive etc... But I think my T doesn't use only emdr method... I'll see how it works...

I tried to do trauma work but my mental health just got worse so we had to stop.
My T wants us to try again soon.

I don't want to do it..

I've been fighting facing this...I NEED to.
And sometimes things get worse before they get better.
That's why having a toolbox with coping techniques is so important.

But apparently as we learn to talk about it, and correctly place responsibility on the responsible parties, we can begin to heal, and it won't hurt so bad. The nightmares and flashbacks should eventually stop (or at least significantly decrease).

These kinds of things we can't just go around...we have to walk THROUGH it to go forward. There's no way around it. We can only get so far in life without taking that terrifying step.

You don't have to do it if you don't want to do it.

A good therapist will not push you into going somewhere you aren't ready to go yet.

I have had to take many breaks along the way as it is very difficult work and tends to upset my equilibrium and balance.

Therefore, if I'm in a good space in life and ready to tackle a particular part of it, I will. If not, I won't because I know it will set me back a bit.

The main thing is to listen to your own intuition and move along at your own pace.

it was just emotional/verbal abuse. she only hit me a couple times so I don't really count that as being physically abused. I don't feel justified in still having issues with my past!

emotional/verbal abuse is not just abuse. it is abuse. Sometimes emotional/verbal abuse can be more traumatic than physical abuse.

it's so easy to minimize what we go through because we think that what others have gone through is not "as bad" as others have endured.

I want to assure you that any abuse is too much. And any amount of abuse can cause trauma. And what you experienced matters...and how it affected you matters.

I've done EMDR and trauma work, and each time I didn't want to do it, but I knew if I wanted to move forward I needed to do it. It's hard, but you need to trust your gut.
Unfortunately, in EMDR my little girl split off from me. I see her as separate person now. My current psychiatrist was trained by the woman who developed EMDR and she is very cautious with me and will need to use EMDR to reintegrate my little girl.
I was in group therapy when I did my trauma work. The members of my group played different roles as well as provided support. I had a foam bat and a foam block and whacked the h*** out of it and screamed as loud as I could once I got going. It helped get that angry energy out allowing me to discuss where the anger was coming from and why.
After one of my hospitalizations I entered a partial hospitalization program that taught Dialectal Behavior Therapy (DBT). DBT teaches you different coping strategies you can use. I have more than one (breathing, visualization, words to tell my self, who I can call, ...) and use whichever I feel is appropriate. There are times I am too overwhelmed and I don't even think about DBT, but I have a great therapist who is always available to me.
As I said earlier, trust your gut. If it's telling you to do the work try to muster up that strength you do have.

It really hard and sucks at times. My current T is moving way to fast I'm thinking of running away, though my group T says I need to push through. I'll give her six weeks before I decide to drop her or not.