I need to work through my trauma but my T is reluctant on doing trauma work.

I feel like i need to work through the trauma like with EMDR or something but my T thinks im not ready for that yet she thinks i would be even more traumatized by the emotions it all brings up since i have emotion phobia .

Any tips please?

I think you are the best one to discern what you need, however, I think your t has a very valid concern. I don't know to what degree or how your emotion phobia affects you. As you know, trauma work can bring up some insanely intense emotions. How would you cope with that?

Yea i know it does but i feel like i need to go through those emotions in order to really deal with them at all ,and guess i would cope by journaling or working out or being kind to myself etc . I just really need to feel the emotions then be able to work through them in order to be ok with sitting with my emotions sorta like exposure therapy .

I know exactly what you're going through when I started therapy almost a year ago now I felt no emotions ever I stuffed them down forever and I had all kinds of trauma for the first 20 years of my life. I started EMDR to get over a car accident and I knew that my childhood was not great but boy did it bring out all the cans of worms. Eventually all kinds of things started coming back to me animotion started pouring out especially in the beginning of EMDR. I will never forget when I realized that I actually do feel fear I had never thought that I was afraid of anything ever and that just flipped me out over the edge. I felt broken and shattered I felt like my whole life was a lie. I hate emotions fear is the worst one but my therapist said that even though I feel worse now because I'm feeling things that feeling is one step above num so I'm actually doing better. It doesn't feel that way to me but I guess he is the expert. He said even if I'm not home and I'm not feeling the feelings he motions they're still there my body my brain are still dealing with them even though I'm pushing them aside. I know that to get better and get to the other side of this horrible life I've been living I do have to feel the feelings I do have to learn to deal with emotions I'm not taking the DBT class to help with that, and I do have to work through the EMDR and learn to deal with the trauma and put it in the past. If it is something you want to do I would find someone experiencing EMDR that's willing to take the time and go slow and work with you. EMDR is usually not a quick fix if you've had complex trauma throughout your life but it does get easier. I am lucky to have a great trauma therapist who has worked hard at finding ways to get me through EMDR. I have DID and I dissociate a lot so he has to use different techniques to get me through it. He says it is very easy to go too fast and almost impossible to go too slow, but he is patient and kind through the whole thing. Eventually I'll get there someday. Good luck with whatever you decide.

So i will try to EMDR or bio feedback but i really need to get the trauma out of me im going to have to release it soon anyway or face it eventually.

Yes as much as I hate the slow progress I'm making I want it done now I understand that it took 20 years to get there and I lived with it for decades so I either have to choose to live a miserable life the rest of my life or do something now to fix it it's not going to happen overnight but eventually I will get there. I always think of it this way as well I can spend a few years doing EMDR working with the trauma specialist and getting over it or I can spend a lifetime either miserable or lifetime in therapy which I don't want either of those. My goal is to get better not to stay the same.

Does your T do EMDR? I'm not entirely sure what you mean by emotion phobia?

[COLOR="SandyBrown"]Hi so she does but eerily but has a concern i might get even worse if we do it. Emotion phobia is very people are afraid of all emotions and sitting with they emotions.
/COLOR]

As AllHeart said, it is ultimately your decision on what to do, but the T's concern is understandable.

I just want to add that many Ts feel uncomfortable working with trauma directly because the general training unfortunately doesn't give them skills and solid background for doing trauma work. Only those Ts who have gone through specialized training like EMDR, neurofeedback, somatic experiencing and some others have a solid understanding of trauma in the first place, understanding that is based on scientific findings, as opposed to speculative theories Ts mostly use. Considering the lack of general knowledge and skill level, it's actually a good thing that your Ts is reluctant to proceed with trauma work. Frankly, if she hasn't received any specialized training in working with trauma, I wouldn't consider doing this kind of work with her. I'd look for a specialist if you feel like trauma work is what you need.

Also, you need to be realistic about how much you can achieve as a result of trauma work. If you are hoping that you will be able to release all the trauma from your system, you'll be highly disappointed because it's not possible. Trauma healing is a life time work, not a result of a brief intervention. You CAN certainly achieve SOME progress and feel much better, but there will always be remaining traumatic material to work on, so this is something you need to accept from the get go. Nothing and no one can miraculously heal all your wounds.

And, in order to achieve SOME progress in that direction, you need to commit yourself to a long-term process, not necessarily with the same practitioner, just
to the process of doing the work throughout your life time. It's best to take it slow, as slowly and as gradually as you can in order to solidify the results and to make them last. This is really the case when slow and steady wins the race.

Im going to see a biofeedback provider on Mon ,i know you are right im not expecting much and am being realistic with this i just wish i could cut a little on the top i know that it can not be entirely but at least take the edge off.

Understood. This sounds like a reasonable goal to set. I've done trauma work through bodywork mostly and also through alternative methods like herbology and acupuncture and some yoga. It helped a lot but comparing to what I would like to achieve I could say that I only took the edge off.

I think if your T is uncomfortable doing trauma work then they are without a doubt the wrong T to be doing it with.
I have seen 18 T's and Pdocs , 3 of which were senior consultants and only 2 out of the 18 were qualified in trauma work.
The right T is absolutely essential, and one who is unsure of their capabilities is definitely not one you need to be opening this can of worms with.
All the best.

I agree. A T trained in trauma is not going to shy away from helping a client start to deal with it. Of course they are going to be sure to provide the right foundation of coping and grounding skills, but if that is what they are trained to do then that is what they will do. Living with the after effects of trauma sucks, I don't know why any T would not want to help a client get through to the other side. It is not easy or quick but can certainly be improved upon with the right T.

Yea i agree and i guess you are right , and I will maybe change T's i will see what i find .Thanks for helping me everyone .