Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Thanks, Scarlet. I think you're right that even if I don't make the goal, if I try, I'm being more active. And in looking at the challenge more, it seems we self-log our miles. So I could count general steps during the day. I have a Fitbit that's set to give me movement reminders once an hour, so the days that I actually listen to it, I do 250 steps an hour, plus some hours will involve more steps.

Dr. T said today that he thought it was 4,000 steps per mile, but I don't think that's right. The other day, when I did go for a walk, I did about 4,500 steps total for the day, and it said I did 2 miles over the course of the day. And googling shows it to be 2,000 to 2,100 steps per mile, depending on stride length. So that's maybe 6,500 steps for day, which seems manageable if I'm often doing 4,000 or more anyway. Also, it said you could start the challenge a few days early to make it easier to meet the total, so maybe I'll start counting tomorrow!

And it sounds like you're doing great with the bike! You're right that it's total time, not how much time you do in a single session.

I walk my two dogs 4-6 miles every day so I think it is very doable. We go out no matter the weather except lightning (the park has a lot of trees and every big storm several fall down and I would prefer not getting hit on the head with a falling limb) and ice (old people/old dogs and ice are not a winning combo although I do use yaktrax). I have the dogs but others use walking with friends on a schedule to keep them on it. For me 4 miles is around 10000 steps - 2500 a mile (according to apple watch) - for what it is worth - I found fitbit more generous with steps than the apple watch. I wore both for awhile to compare and the fitbit always posted back about 1000 steps more than apple.

You deserved a better therapist NP. I haven't been around all the time, but I do remember your previous posts about him not giving you a set date which I feel did make it harder for you to get closure and move on.

I agree with @@ who has said it well.

He was previously okay with accepting your insurance at $100 per hour. What they pay him is not your responsibility once he agreed. It's still more then the minimum wage.

I'm also around if you want another look via PM.

Thanks, that helps. Fitbit does seem to give me steps for things like gesturing while I'm talking. I do have MapMyRun/Walk on my phone, too, and I use that for actual walks. It seems accurate for mileage, as I've compared with driving before. From when I was doing 5K training, I have some 3.2-mile walks mapped out in my area, so I'll probably go for those on days when the weather isn't awful. And we do have a treadmill, though I'm not too fond of walking on that.

You can do it if you believe you can. Just start small grow tall. My fav quote by Les Brown "Shoot for the moon even if you miss, you'll land among the stars".

You need a cheerleader.

Can you get H to go with you too, maybe you could start a daily walk together?

I think it is very doable for most people to walk 3 miles in an hour every day if there are no health issues. My 87 yr old parent still walks a 17 min mile (and he is cross because he could do a 15 mile in his 70s). He walks 1/2 marathons for fun (he likes to travel and this gives him specific things to travel for). We are not a particularly athletic family.

Thanks, Lemon. My H is working his way back from hip surgery, but has basically been cleared for all activities. So that's an option. But walking with him is difficult because he's a foot taller and naturally walks faster! So it feels like I'm racing to keep up with him.

My D actually went for a walk with me yesterday, so wondering if I can get her to do that more often? I also like walking alone while listening to music, as it kind of clears my head and is a form of mindfulness. We have some trails fairly nearby, so maybe I could go for hikes as well. I used to love doing that when I was younger, walking in the woods.

That's impressive about your parent and also kind of funny that he's upset he can no longer do a 15-minute mile at 87. A former coworker travels around the country doing marathons and exploring the areas while he does them.


My parents are very un-athletic. My mom mainly due to a heart condition that started in her teens (her heart races from small amounts of activity), and my dad, well, he golfs. And they both used to bowl.

LT-I find it counter-intuitive that Dr.T was immediately pointing out ways it might make you feel worse,
rather than focusing on the positive aspects of this. You are trying something new! That’s awesome. And it wasn’t even like you brought up your fear of maybe feeling bad about not reaching your goal-HE did!
That just feels weird to me. I, for one, think this is a wonderful idea, even if you complete it or not. Anything to move your body.

I had a horrible weekend. I almost went to the ER many times, because the pain in my feet is out of control. I decided not to go bc I would likely have to wait for hours in uncomfortable chairs, feeling awful, and I highly doubt they would give me anything for the pain anyway.

My doctor is going to give me a referral to a pain specialist. I had to take off another week of work.
Week 5 of not getting paid. At this rate, I am going
to lose my job. My FMLA runs out on April 13.

I am over all this pain.I just went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and (finally) changed my sheets, and now I am at a pain level of a 9. Out of 10

Thanks, Velcro. It strikes me as odd, too. Normally he'd be cheering if I was talking about being involved in some sort of regular physical activity. I'm just sort of confused. Maybe he's trying to protect me or something? He doesn't want me to be disappointed? But the problem is, it feels like my mother saying I can't do something I want to do because I'm not good enough or talented enough. It's not like I'm planning to do a marathon (or even a half) on April 30 without necessary training.

I'm definitely going to talk to him about it more Wednesday. I suppose it's also odd because he's being so supportive of my writing lately. Maybe he thinks I'm trying to do too many things? But then why not just say that?

If this had been even 6 months ago, I likely would have emailed him about it tonight. But I think that it's better for us to just talk about it, plus I realize that it can wait. So that's a change.

Velcro, I'm sorry you're still struggling so much. I hope the pain specialist can help. When do you get the MRI?

LT,

I'm sorry that Dr. T is being so unhelpful regarding this.
Your experience struck a chord with me because of my experiences with secondary school sports.

For context, I have some mobility issues/balance problems.

When I was at primary school, I was encouraged to try anything that I felt capable of.
At secondary school things changed. I had an aide to assist with physical education classes, and told her that I would like to take part in the 100m.

I didn't say compete because I wouldn't have been any competition.

Her response?

'Don't you think you'd be making a fool of yourself?'

In a form of justice, she was later fired for being drunk on the job.

I agree that Dr. T should encourage anything that supports you in getting back out in the world.

Thanks LT. My MRI is tomorrow evening.

Hugs, Lost, I'm so sorry you dealt with that. She shouldn't have been teaching.

That makes me think of the art instructor at the community arts class I took as a kid who told me my painting was "terrible." Which made me think for years that I was bad at art (and I was stunned when I got an A at one point in high school art).


It just occurred to me that there was something else that he wasn't particularly empathetic or understanding about today. And I felt sort of judged there, too. Especially as he said doing this thing (a screening medical test that involves, well, prep) was part of "adulting." Which implies that I'm not acting like an adult. When I have mental health issues that make it difficult for me (which I mentioned today). So maybe my reaction is partly to that as well.

Wow.


I wouldn't want to see how he would respond to that test. If I understand correctly, then I know exactly why it would be rough for you. (Not that anyone would find it fun...)


Strikes me that empathy is part of being a human, as well as being a therapist. I know it's not part of how he works, though.


I'm sorry he couldn't be with you in your discomfort.

Thanks, Lost. I appreciate your understanding.

I understand how part of his job (at least how he views it) is to push me to do things. But I need empathy behind the pushing. At least for something like this. I suppose I can tell him all this next session.

Went to a museum today, it was about a 4 hour drive both ways but I got in for 3 dollars with my EBT card so it was worth it. On the way home the E button on my car started blinking and I got really nervous, I had never had that little amount of gas in my car before, fortunately I made it to the service plaza before I fully ran out of gas. I had calculated it that I should have been able to make it there before I ran out of gas but it was still scary seeing the blinking light.

Thanks for helping me navigate my therapy situation yesterday. There was another volley of emails this morning that didn't exactly leave me feeling that great about the situation. I showed up about 10 minutes late to my session today with the intention of returning some books he'd loaned me and getting a read on the room. I felt like if I didn't show up in some fashion today, that I would never show up again, and I guess I wasn't ready to give up on this relationship over some hurtful emails. I cried a lot. He pointed out some patterns we seem to have fallen into and suggested ways around those patterns. Not just mine, but his too. I'm not completely passed this, but I think there's a way forward.

Did you agree with his suggestions? How will he navigate his billing issues?

I don’t mean to to sound very anti P, but perhaps getting a view from another therapist could help.

A T should be your biggest cheerleader when you’re making positive changes that benefit your health. You said previously that he works with sport folks - how would that motivate them?

Glad you got home safe that would be scary for anyone.

I hope you can find some pain relief soon.

I'm glad you feel like there's a way forward with him. And that he's noticing his own patterns, too. With something like this, about the money, I don't think it would be solved in a single session or email anyway, but might be an ongoing discussion or something that will come up periodically.

That's a good question. I mean, I'm certainly not a sport person. Maybe that's why he's being this way?

He has been a cheerleader for me lately with the memoir and my writing in general. Maybe that's part of why this feels so jarring?

I did end up emailing when I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night, in part about this, but also regarding the medical test and something else he said at the end of session that was sort of related that keeps bothering me. (Aside from sending him a link to an old SNL skit I'd referenced a couple weeks ago, where all I said was "here you go," this is the first email I've sent him in over a month, so I still think that's progress.)

He replied to the email. For the walking part, he said "I’m against you setting yourself up for a challenge that would, in my opinion, be highly likely to cause you stress and disappointment. Maybe we can find a challenge that also excites you and meets you where you are right now with exercise goals?"


I understand what he means, but isn't part of the idea of a "challenge" to, well, push myself?

*roll eyes emoji*

I kind of think he is full of sh** about this.