Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Does 988 line or one of the peer support lines help when they don't know the history? I'm struggling at the moment pretty hard and could really use some more on demand help/advice.

My experience is that they listen for a little bit then they make a crisis plan with you. In some cases they follow up with an email or a call. Like when I talked to them yesterday they scheduled a follow up email for Friday at noon. I guess it just helps to know someone cares. But I don't think they give really in depth advice. Pretty much general kinda stuff. YMMV

hugs/headnods all around as wanted/needed/appropriate.

Hugs, Velcro, I'm sorry you dealt with that at the doctor's. And that the crisis line wasn't more helpful--though it's good you at least tried calling. I know from my own experience that being told to be grateful for what I have when I'm struggling is not helpful. (It just tends to make me feel guilty and shamed, too.) Also sorry that you didn't hear from your T.

I hope your pdoc is helpful in some way. I know there are some medications for nerve pain, if that's possibly what's going on. I think actually Cymbalta is supposed to help with that, even though it's a psych drug. I was on it for a bit and felt something similar to how Tylenol makes me feel.

And I hope tomorrow at work is bearable...

My talk T said she would call at 12 today, but she never did. I texted her a little while ago to make sure she was ok, and see if she could call. It’s 9pm so not going
to call.

Trauma T never wrote back.

The pdoc session wasn’t helpful. At all.

Ugh, I'm sorry for all that...

I had a session with Fin yesterday that went relatively badly. I was feeling very shut down and couldn't connect with him at all. Just cried, whilst he could not reach me. He ended the session 8 mins early too.

I messaged today saying that I would have preferred him to have stayed even if we weren't talking. That I was just exhausted and didn't want to do sessions anymore at the moment. I have been feeling exhausted and tired of working on myself. I was finding it hard to deal with all that was coming up.

He said the stop start approach made it harder for him. He gave me a me a full refund for the remaining balance. I asked if I could come back later. He said I might still do the push pull thing, but if I felt that I worked on that. He also added that I needed more support.

More self sabotage? I'm just tired of trying.

my T sent me a reminder message about today's session. I told her to bring her A game. She said she would do her best. I was trying to be funny and I put a smiley face next to it but now I am worried she won't think it is funny.

I see Pdoc today. Hopefully he can give me something for the depression (Been having a lot of SI) and hopefully a different med for sleep because I am not sleeping.

This reminds me of when i first started with my last t. I warned him, "your gonna need supervision!" Not because i thought he was lacking skill, but because i felt i was an unusually tough case. Plus i thought it was funny. Both are kind of a play on that line from Jaws - we're gonna need a bigger boat!

Just found out that my Grand Aunt died, my last living relative from that Generation.

So sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry for your loss RTerroni. I hope you have support around you right now.

Sending you love.

I hope both your pdoc and T sessions are/were helpful, Kit!

I got tired of flat living and bought a house. Slowly moving in. Never had the luxury of moving so slowly before. Everything will be there and set up except books and furniture when the movers come on May 12. No panicked packing, and no panicked packing means no rushed unpacking, I can take my time arranging things and the kitchen will be ready to go on Day 1.

House is in the historic district, nice and old but in good shape, big yard and an outbuilding that I might convert to a guesthouse or studio. Potbelly stove in the living room, just like my Irish grandfather had when I was growing up.

I own the flat, so I’m keeping it, to sublet or make an AirBnB.

That sounds nice ATAT

Really lovely.

That sounds really nice. Congrats!

Congrats @@

How are you doing, Kit? How were your pdoc and T yesterday/

I am still struggling with SI. And my mean coworker is really being mean to me this week. I almost quit but I was like, no. I like my job. I like the company. I just gotta stick it out. Luckily there is a higher up who is not in the chain of my command and she said I can talk to her anytime. I leave it anonymous so I am not "tattling" or anything. But it helps. She calmed me down today.

My Pdoc is giving me a new sleep med and a new antidepressant but the insurance company has to approve the antidepressant. So we'll see. Then the pharmacy has to order it. Then I have to try it. So sweet relief might be a ways off.

Therapy was okay. Not great. And not horrible. I didn't feel better afterward. I wish there was something concrete that would make me feel better but I know I just need to slog through. So that is what I am doing....slogging.

Thanks for checking on me.

HUGS kit

Hugs, Kit. I'm sorry you're having struggles at work. I hope your insurance approves the medication and that it helps. Can you at least start the new sleep med right away?


Sorry therapy was just OK. I hope things get better so that it's not just a slog. I've been there though. Sometimes it's all you can do to just get through the day or even the hour (or minute). Do you have anything going on this weekend that could help?

Not really anything going on this weekend. Church of course. And a haircut. I hate getting my hair cut. Hopefully I can take a nap.

I hope I can get the sleep med soon. I know my Dad picked something up at the pharmacy for me but I don't know what. So I will see when I go home. I had to switch pharmacies. My last pharmacy would send me a text saying what was ready and how much. This one just says 1 of x is ready for pickup.

I was hoping for an amazing therapy session. But I have yet to have an amazing therapy session with this new T. Maybe with time. And maybe slow and steady is the way to go. HUGS Kit

Congrats @@.

Hope you can also have a couch party when it's all done.

(HINT, HINT, HINT)

-Have you tried the ice cube trick? Just try to hold an ice cube in the palm of your hand.

-Could you give yourself a massage?

-I would draw on myself with felt tip. Maybe you could try paint? Or mix food colouring with water if you had associated colour with comfort.

-Stick the plasters on anyway? To convince your brain you've already done it.

- I pinched myself today, but didn't cut. I'm still counting that.