[MuddyBoots]

Starting around 11 last night and going until about half an hour ago I took 12 mg of Ativan and boiiiiiiiii do I feel ****ed up (I thin kthere was some melatonin involved too)
I could ask for a phone appointment, but I know she gets frustrated when I can't think right on those. we're determining if I should get into an eating disorder PHP. I'll write down stufff ahead of time so I'm just not rambling about how S gave me emotional flah backs and now I fear I'm going to be policed and lose control that i don't haveee and fear of gaining weight and stuff

I haee a feelig this is mostly waht the season will be on beause last session was ont his and my case management was on it. Also, my brain is FRIED and it's virtual so idk if I'll be able to stick with 6 hours on some sort of technology without musuc and having to ge tupto do other stuff like laundry and say hi to my preety girl fhlorie

[LonesomeTonight]

First, assuming you drive to therapy, are you OK to drive? I'm not sure how long Ativan stays in the system (from the few times I took it, I don't think that long, but unsure with a larger dose). It sounds like you should have some sort of appointment, either in person or phone. Is virtual an option for the session? I find I can focus better on that, with a visual of the therapist, rather than on a regular phone call.


For the virtual PHP, I'm assuming you get breaks each hour, where you could walk around and maybe listen to a little music. Plus a longer lunch break. Though I understand that 6 hours of that would be a lot. I wonder if you could talk to someone at the program about those concerns? I'm sure you aren't the only client who would struggle with that.

[MuddyBoots]

I an do a phone session. I odn't reember if I claready calle and asked for one though.

I so badly want to do the PHP but all these demons, these ED voices, these fears are holding me back.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by MuddyBoots

I an do a phone session. I odn't reember if I claready calle and asked for one though.

I so badly want to do the PHP but all these demons, these ED voices, these fears are holding me back.

Hope the phone session is helpful. In terms of feeling held back, the people running the program should be used to those and know how to help. Maybe connecting with other people participating in the program who have similar issues will help, too?

[MuddyBoots]

I'm thinking of not piacking up the phoen when she calls.. I dont want to frustrated or worry herr ag ain.

[Nammu]

Pick up the phone, it will worry her if you don’t. Just ask her if you can read something, then read what you wrote on the other post. That was good. You can do it.

[MuddyBoots]

That was kinda shyt show. I could AAARELY takl and aasomething stuff was monsense; but I think she got the chist of 10 mg of ativan in 20 mours. I fell talking to her lol. I think my blood sugari s low again because I haven't eaten manyy carbs todayl
Ughhh nowwe allI get to look towards the "everybody's fighting over Christmas shyt" season.
I only rememember thee part of where she asked a few questions like "how has food been going? "Are you isolating? "What haee you been doing?

[MuddyBoots]

I don't even remember most of it. Need to sleep and stop taking 10mg of ativan before seasions, and bring a notebook.