Home Menu

Menu


Closed Thread
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #701  
Old Mar 23, 2024, 07:47 PM
WarmFuzzySocks's Avatar
WarmFuzzySocks WarmFuzzySocks is offline
Magnet
 
Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: in the garden
Posts: 2,385
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I have been in a couple of cities recently where there were street vendor poets who would make up and type out a poem on the idea the customer chose.

I did that in New Orleans. Two guys sitting there with a typewriter and a bottle of wine. Then the police came and made the typewriter poets move.
__________________
Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
Hugs from:
unaluna
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight, stopdog

advertisement
  #702  
Old Mar 23, 2024, 08:49 PM
atisketatasket's Avatar
atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
Child of a lesser god
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,394
Quote:
Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks View Post
I did that in New Orleans. Two guys sitting there with a typewriter and a bottle of wine. Then the police came and made the typewriter poets move.
Were they any good? Or was it like wine-fueled poetry-by-numbers?
Hugs from:
unaluna
Thanks for this!
unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
  #703  
Old Mar 23, 2024, 09:10 PM
ArtieTheSequal's Avatar
ArtieTheSequal ArtieTheSequal is offline
Starting a new chapter!
 
Member Since: Feb 2020
Location: In the desert of my soul
Posts: 7,728
Looking back at older poems of mine, I can definitely tell when they were wine-fueled. Tis not a good thing to poem while intoxicated! At least, in my case.
Hugs from:
unaluna
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #704  
Old Mar 23, 2024, 09:39 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
underdog is here
 
Member Since: Sep 2011
Location: blank
Posts: 35,154
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Were they any good? Or was it like wine-fueled poetry-by-numbers?
The ones I saw (I was at a conference and a couple of attendees bought them) - they were not terrible. I would not say good -but not bad.
__________________
Please NO @

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, WarmFuzzySocks
  #705  
Old Mar 24, 2024, 01:01 PM
WarmFuzzySocks's Avatar
WarmFuzzySocks WarmFuzzySocks is offline
Magnet
 
Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: in the garden
Posts: 2,385
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
Were they any good? Or was it like wine-fueled poetry-by-numbers?

Similar to sd's assessment- not terrible. Not great poetry but fun as a memento.

The wine probably didn't hurt.
__________________
Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket
  #706  
Old Mar 24, 2024, 11:26 PM
GeminiNZ's Avatar
GeminiNZ GeminiNZ is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 627
had a stressful day at work and still unresolved drama in my therapy plus i have a horrible medical appt to attend in the morning so i'm just gonna crawl under a couch cushion and hide for a while. sorry i don't have wine or poetry. i did have some excellent chocolate but i've eaten that now.
__________________
"Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything." - Plato
Hugs from:
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, ScarletPimpernel, unaluna
  #707  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 04:40 AM
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna unaluna is offline
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 42,290
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeminiNZ View Post
... i did have some excellent chocolate but i've eaten that now.
You did the right thing!
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight
  #708  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 06:14 AM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by GeminiNZ View Post
had a stressful day at work and still unresolved drama in my therapy plus i have a horrible medical appt to attend in the morning so i'm just gonna crawl under a couch cushion and hide for a while. sorry i don't have wine or poetry. i did have some excellent chocolate but i've eaten that now.

Sorry you're having such a rough time. I hope your appointment isn't as bad as you expect this morning. Hugs, if wanted.
  #709  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 02:52 PM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
This is a rather specific question, so I may need to create my own thread. But has anyone ever met virtually (over Zoom or whatever platform) with their T while their T was traveling and the T blurred or otherwise concealed the background? If so, did it feel weird to you? Especially if they're the type to not say where they're going?

Note that I understand he may have been blurring it because he thought it could make clients uncomfortable and/or if, say, he was staying at either a friend's/relative's place or a random Airbnb, he might be trying to protect *their* privacy (like if there were family photos on the wall or something).

This is a case where he had to finish a research article that's due Monday, and he opted to go somewhere other than his home to work on it. He's seeing clients for 3 hours a day (rather than 6 or 7 as normal), and I'm seeing him twice this week, to give the background. I don't think this is a family vacation where he's seeing clients. It's a weird hybrid where he's away but working.

Anyway, just wondering if the blurring/background hiding was difficult for anyone else. It just felt different from the many other times I've met with him via Zoom, whether from assorted rooms in his house or from his regular office. And I'm trying to figure out how to understand and explain it. (For example, wondering whether I should just cancel Thursday's session and see him when he's back, try just meeting by phone, still see him with the blurring and talk about it more--we did briefly today, but it bothered me more post-session--etc.).
  #710  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 03:29 PM
ChickenNoodleSoup ChickenNoodleSoup is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,664
I don't have zoom sessions, but have done plenty of online talks. Blurry backgrounds are often distracting to me. Maybe you could suggest he takes a picture of his usual office background and uses it as a background (you can set pictures as backgrounds on zoom)?
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #711  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 03:47 PM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickenNoodleSoup View Post
I don't have zoom sessions, but have done plenty of online talks. Blurry backgrounds are often distracting to me. Maybe you could suggest he takes a picture of his usual office background and uses it as a background (you can set pictures as backgrounds on zoom)?

Oh, that's a thought. He did say he was surprised at how few default options there were in Zoom, like he briefly put on the beach with a palm tree one. I wonder if something like that even would be preferable? I feel part of my brain was trying to figure out what was actually behind him.
Thanks for this!
ChickenNoodleSoup
  #712  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 04:25 PM
LostOnTheTrail's Avatar
LostOnTheTrail LostOnTheTrail is offline
Human Feeling
 
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: England
Posts: 5,837
That makes sense.

'This person I know is in a new environment, when we are usually in the same space.'

He might even have a picture of his office on file.

Or that might be something I would do, if I had an office...
__________________
'Somewhere up above the great divide
Where the sky is wide, and the clouds are few
A man can see his way clear to the light
Just hold on tight, that's all you gotta do...'

Steve Earle - Fort Worth Blues

'You have all the grace you need for today, and today is all that matters.' - Steve Austin
Thanks for this!
ChickenNoodleSoup, LonesomeTonight
  #713  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 04:48 PM
ChickenNoodleSoup ChickenNoodleSoup is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Apr 2017
Location: In a land far far away
Posts: 1,664
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostOnTheTrail View Post
That makes sense.

'This person I know is in a new environment, when we are usually in the same space.'

He might even have a picture of his office on file.

Or that might be something I would do, if I had an office...
If it were me, I'd have a picture of the clients chair as viewed by me, so I can really imagine the room
(as in that's the picture I'd have on hand, but might as well force the clients to have it as a background xd)
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail, wheeler
  #714  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 04:54 PM
ScarletPimpernel's Avatar
ScarletPimpernel ScarletPimpernel is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: US
Posts: 9,075
Pdoc always uses a blurred background. L has not. H uses a blurred background when he's on a video call. I just assume it because they don't want to see the mess behind them. That's H's excuse anyway.

I do see how it can be upsetting because it's not the norm for you. And this sounds like this is not the normal place for him either. Maybe it would give away personal information or where he is located. I really disagree with him not telling you general whereabouts he is. Both T and L tell me, and it helps. I'd say bring it up with him, but I know that could have it's own problems, too.

__________________
"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #715  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 05:36 PM
East17's Avatar
East17 East17 is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 546
I've never had an online session when my Ts been away, but there was one week a few months ago when she had family staying and so she worked from a different room in her house to usual. She blurred the background then, which felt really weird.

I get how unsettling it is when they're not where they're supposed to be or normally are. I think we take the familiar so much for granted and it can completely throw us when it's not there.

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk
__________________
To the world you might be just one person; but to one person you might be the world.
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, LostOnTheTrail
  #716  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 05:42 PM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by East17 View Post
I've never had an online session when my Ts been away, but there was one week a few months ago when she had family staying and so she worked from a different room in her house to usual. She blurred the background then, which felt really weird.

I get how unsettling it is when they're not where they're supposed to be or normally are. I think we take the familiar so much for granted and it can completely throw us when it's not there.

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk

Thanks, East, it helps to know you understand. During the pandemic, when Dr. T was still working from home, I was jarred a few times when he was in a different room than the usual. Like I wished I'd had a warning. Though the one time, I got to see their pet turtle, which was kind of neat, because its aquarium was in that room.

He did say today that he realized he should have told me in advance he'd be blurring it out. Because he knew I might react to it. So that's something, I guess?
  #717  
Old Mar 25, 2024, 11:18 PM
atisketatasket's Avatar
atisketatasket atisketatasket is offline
Child of a lesser god
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Tartarus
Posts: 19,394
Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight View Post
This is a rather specific question, so I may need to create my own thread. But has anyone ever met virtually (over Zoom or whatever platform) with their T while their T was traveling and the T blurred or otherwise concealed the background? If so, did it feel weird to you? Especially if they're the type to not say where they're going?

Note that I understand he may have been blurring it because he thought it could make clients uncomfortable and/or if, say, he was staying at either a friend's/relative's place or a random Airbnb, he might be trying to protect *their* privacy (like if there were family photos on the wall or something).

This is a case where he had to finish a research article that's due Monday, and he opted to go somewhere other than his home to work on it. He's seeing clients for 3 hours a day (rather than 6 or 7 as normal), and I'm seeing him twice this week, to give the background. I don't think this is a family vacation where he's seeing clients. It's a weird hybrid where he's away but working.

Anyway, just wondering if the blurring/background hiding was difficult for anyone else. It just felt different from the many other times I've met with him via Zoom, whether from assorted rooms in his house or from his regular office. And I'm trying to figure out how to understand and explain it. (For example, wondering whether I should just cancel Thursday's session and see him when he's back, try just meeting by phone, still see him with the blurring and talk about it more--we did briefly today, but it bothered me more post-session--etc.).
I blur my background on zoom frequently, for various reasons. So do others. It’s normal. It’s better than a picture background because there are no weird images when you move, like your arm disappears momentarily.

And frankly I wish Info had blurred hers rather than me seeing the steer and elk horns mounted on her dining room wall. Or the bear rug in front of her fireplace.

Maybe he’s having a torrid affair with Info and has better sense than she does. Or maybe behind him is a bench with two drunk guys swigging wine and reciting extemporaneous poetry.
Hugs from:
Lemoncake, unaluna
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight, stopdog, unaluna, WarmFuzzySocks
  #718  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 01:01 AM
Lemoncake's Avatar
Lemoncake Lemoncake is offline
Roses are falling.
 
Member Since: May 2017
Location: Seattle.
Posts: 10,065
Maybe Dr T’s decision to conceal his background might symbolize a boundary or barrier within the therapeutic relationship, triggering feelings of mistrust or
Increasing the sense of distance.

How does this relate to your other relational patterns?
__________________
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #719  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 01:43 AM
WarmFuzzySocks's Avatar
WarmFuzzySocks WarmFuzzySocks is offline
Magnet
 
Member Since: Jun 2017
Location: in the garden
Posts: 2,385
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
two drunk guys swigging wine and reciting extemporaneous poetry.
That could be a whole new kind of therapy all in itself..
__________________
Since you cannot do good to all, you are to pay special attention to those who, by accidents of time, or place, or circumstance, are brought into closer connection with you. (St. Augustine)
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, LonesomeTonight
  #720  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 01:58 AM
unaluna's Avatar
unaluna unaluna is offline
Elder Harridan x-hankster
 
Member Since: Jun 2011
Location: Milan/Michigan
Posts: 42,290
He probably earned 3 EU credits for attending a zoom meeting on how to blur your zoom meeting background.
Hugs from:
Lemoncake
Thanks for this!
atisketatasket, Lemoncake, LonesomeTonight, NP_Complete
  #721  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 05:23 AM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by atisketatasket View Post
I blur my background on zoom frequently, for various reasons. So do others. It’s normal. It’s better than a picture background because there are no weird images when you move, like your arm disappears momentarily.

And frankly I wish Info had blurred hers rather than me seeing the steer and elk horns mounted on her dining room wall. Or the bear rug in front of her fireplace.

Maybe he’s having a torrid affair with Info and has better sense than she does. Or maybe behind him is a bench with two drunk guys swigging wine and reciting extemporaneous poetry.
Thanks for the reply--it helps to hear your experience of it. Gives me a different perspective. Who knows how I (or another client) might have reacted to seeing whatever is in the background? We were sort of joking at first about what might be back there, like he was saying a half-empty bottle of whiskey (I said "or an empty one") or drug paraphernalia. I was tempted to make a joke about something else, but refrained. Maybe it was Info! Or elk horns.

And I did initially say to him that the picture background can be a problem for the reason you said--a musician I like played some free shows from home during the pandemic and used an outer space background. Parts of him would periodically disappear.

I do think it would have helped had I known in advance he was going to do that--and he said he realized he should have warned me.
  #722  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 06:06 AM
wheeler wheeler is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Posts: 544
My T has never blurred her background, but she once turned off the camera when she had to step away for a minute…her dog was barking.
I was really bothered by it. It took me a few sessions to finally bring it up to her. She felt bad that it had affected me. She was wearing her pajamas and she didn’t want me to see!
__________________
wheeler
Thanks for this!
LonesomeTonight
  #723  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 06:31 AM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by wheeler View Post
My T has never blurred her background, but she once turned off the camera when she had to step away for a minute…her dog was barking.
I was really bothered by it. It took me a few sessions to finally bring it up to her. She felt bad that it had affected me. She was wearing her pajamas and she didn’t want me to see!

Helps to know that affected you--and I'm glad she told you the reason why! I tend to be careful in what I wear on video calls for that reason--in case I have to stand up.
  #724  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 06:32 AM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake View Post
Maybe Dr T’s decision to conceal his background might symbolize a boundary or barrier within the therapeutic relationship, triggering feelings of mistrust or
Increasing the sense of distance.

How does this relate to your other relational patterns?

Yes, that's what it feels like to me. Even if he had a very good reason for doing it (including that he thought it would make clients less uncomfortable to see a blurred background that whatever was actually there). But it would help to hear that.
  #725  
Old Mar 26, 2024, 06:33 AM
LonesomeTonight's Avatar
LonesomeTonight LonesomeTonight is offline
Always in This Twilight
 
Member Since: Feb 2015
Location: US
Posts: 22,097
Quote:
Originally Posted by WarmFuzzySocks View Post
That could be a whole new kind of therapy all in itself..

Ha! Now I'm imagining my session being periodically interrupted by the drunk poets spouting out a poem on what I've been talking about.
Thanks for this!
WarmFuzzySocks
Closed Thread
Views: 119860




Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Couch 246: Choose Change unaluna Psychotherapy 1000 Jan 22, 2024 02:01 PM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:30 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.