Couch 249: The Self Care Couch

I really appreciate you normalising the experience, East.

I think I would feel differently if I wasn't in the midst of processing something significant.

Helpful session with R today. We discussed the move--she'd packed her whole office the day before the planned move last month, then saw the email about the postponement from Dr. T. We both shared how we'd come to places of peace about leaving the office and how it felt still being there. She's been there 13 years (one of Dr. T's first tenants).

I shared how I struggled when Dr. T was cursing and ranting about the contractors messing things up. She was like, "Look out, Dad's mad!" She said how when someone is stressed they tend to revert to a younger version of themselves. It helped to think of it like that. We also talked about how I struggle with the transactional aspect of therapy, though not as much as I'd meant to.

She also asked what kept me coming back to therapy in general, what need it met for me. I said for one, it's safe, regular space (which, of course, is changing) to just let everything out. She said she has long-term clients who are the same. And she asked what led me to keep seeing Dr. T in general (out of curiosity, not like, "What are you doing still seeing him?") I said how I just really trust him. Also that there's this connection I can't fully understand or explain.

Her response to that connection part was something I think Artie and maybe others would appreciate, though it's likely a bit woo woo for many Couch members: "Who knows? Maybe you knew each other in a past life." She mentioned a client who'd gone on a (medically supervised) psilocybin (sp?) trip and said he'd learned all this stuff from glowing orbs, including that R was his older sister in a past life. I don't know that she necessarily believes in that sort of thing (not sure if I do either), more like sometimes we just feel an inexplicable connection to someone.

Oh and actually amazon sent me an email about the recall and put a notice on my orders page. Cuz i was thinking, gee i just happened to browse the google page today, what if i hadnt? But big brother is watching.

Me too! Except I took it out of the box. It's in a box now, somewhere, after the move.

Statistically speaking, the idea that one person, who in a past life was one of the billions of others who have lived on this planet, has ended up with a therapist or other associate who in a past life was another one of those billions of others *as well as their close relative* is so much hooey that I just sprained my retinas rolling my eyes.

But whatever people gotta tell themselves to survive, I guess.

statistically speaking, what are the odds that people are even here in the first place?

Time for me to bow out again for a while.

Crikey, LT.

Can I borrow your R for a while?
I don't feel like mine is attuned to me that much at the moment.

I woke up to a message from one of my fellow stewards on the SL forum, offering a listening ear if I want to talk...so that's helpful.

Apologies for the retina sprain--I can forward the bill to R! I did have the thought of "what are the chances that people would end up in the same location?"

I do feel like the reason we feel connected to some people and not others, even on first meeting, is a bit of a mystery. (Aside from physical attraction.) And I suppose this is one way people have come up with to explain it. Same with stuff about auras.

Good point! And hugs, Artie. I hope you don't feel driven away for any reason, just taking a break for your own sake. I hope things go well with the new T, R, and that you'll update us at some point.

Sure, you can borrow R. Maybe she can be a couch backup. I do feel I lucked out in her as a backup. I hope your R can figure herself out and become more attuned for your next session.

That's good that the steward offered to talk. I hope you find them helpful if you take them up on the offer.

Thanks,

Frankly I'm thinking about parking the stuff I need to talk about, and having a conversation about how this online time is actually going to work next session.

Completely effed up that I have to think that way, of course.

Specifically, I need to talk about reassurance within the context of online sessions. 'I'm right here' makes it so much worse.

I'm not in therapy to figure out how to explain my physical disability, but that feels like it's gonna be a lot safer than trying to talk about All This online.

I still can't believe that she's doing this, but I can't say it like that.

*curls up on Couch, whimpers*

Now I also have an important meeting for work on the same day as my last in person therapy session until September.

Seriously, Universe?

I have decided to name new T "flipper", like the dolphine. Mainly because he loves his flip chart... and it sounds cute xD

Oh, I like "Flipper"!

Ugh, I'm sorry. is there any way to reschedule the therapy session for a different day?

Virtual session with Dr. T while he's at some undisclosed beach (I mean, he was in the beach house, not siting on the beach, of course). I was crying a bunch of the time--I wasn't sure why. I think I know part of it now, but I guess I need to sit on it till Monday.

He also got positive news about the move--that his permit was mostly approved--right at the end of our session. I said maybe it's because we just scheduled for that day that he'd likely be moving--July 29 (he said we'd go ahead and schedule in case it didn't happen). He said maybe I'm his good-luck charm.

That crossed my mind, but it's too short notice.

Six weeks of holding it together by the skin of my teeth is going to be such fun.

My sister emailed me... I don't want to open it incase she has a tracking app. I wish she would leave us alone.

I'm so sorry, Scarlet.

I wonder whether it would make any difference if you could open it in private browsing mode?

I'm not sure how the email tracker works. We looked up the case number to see what case it is. Found out it has to do with a different case from our old apartments. I don't know why she's emailing me. She has their address. I think I'm just going to leave it unopened and if the court says anything I can claim I never received it. She has my p.o. box too. Again, no need to email. She's just harassing me again.

I’m sorry to hear that. But my personal beliefs should not be so upsetting to you.

Certainly my comments weren’t aimed at you.

Couch mini-poll: Where should ATAT travel next? (Probably around the holidays.)

A. Rome. (Yes, I was just there in 2022, but now I have a book of all the Lat8n inscriptions in Rome organized into 15 walking tours, which combines three of my favorite things: inscriptions, walking, and exploring unfamiliar cities.)

B. Ireland. (I am almost half Irish, plus I’ve been reading a lot of Irish literature and mysteries lately, and watching things like Bodkin. So much so I’d tell you I’m grand if you asked how I was. Also a bit cheaper to get to.)

Where would you go?

Ireland around the holidays might be a good way to get some respite from the overblown aspects of that time of year, but the weather would be better in Rome..

Not much help, I know.

Ireland would be my choice, because I have always wanted to see it.

My H, who is mostly Irish, really enjoyed his trip to Ireland years ago (before we met) and still talks about it. And wants to go back. So, vote for that. Granted, he has not been to Rome. I haven't been out of the country, though would love to go to England and the Tuscany region of Italy at some point.

I would probably would choose someplace new so I would choose Ireland if I had already been to Rome.