Couch 250: An August Couch

I got my first period right after I turned 10 years old. For the past 15ish years though I have been in kind of a “fake menopause” state. They have me on oral birth control year round. I take it every day. There are no reminder pills. They come in 3 week packs and so I just go straight into the next month. I don’t know if it will come back if I were to stop taking them. Possibly-as I’m only 45 but I’m not willing to find out. I like not having a cycle.

I think I got mine when I was 13? It was the summer, and I was going to a friend's house--I thought I was sick due to the cramps. Nope!

Now I'm in perimenopause, likely approaching actual menopause, as I haven't had a period since January--I think I went 5 months before that maybe? I'm dealing with hot flashes and night sweats now (do not recommend!) It was weird--I had them maybe a couple times a week, then it was like a switch flipped maybe 4 months ago to where I'm having like 10 a day/night. It's considered menopause when it's been 12 months without a period, so I imagine I'll have one in November...

Mine was November 10th when I was 13. For me with my infertility, it's just a monthly reminder of what I cannot have. And an unfairness that I must suffer this anyways.

LT yeah that having to restart the count is for the birds! The first time it wanes your all excited, but the 4th time it starts up again your just like

I said they were unpredictable! That could be good—keeps life interesting.

Just like you.

TW for disability stuff.



Pocket riders would be appreciated.

Hugs, Lost. I think I'm a bit late, but will hop in if you're still in there. I hope it went well. Seems important that you're talking about it, even though it's difficult.

Thanks, LT.

I'm grateful to say that it went well.
She now understands the specific areas where my disability has the most impact on my professional life, and offered some insight into how our space is being made more accessible whilst they are doing the refurbishment.

It was a quick meeting, but it felt supportive.

Glad to hear that, Lost! And that it felt supportive.

I keep having dreams where animals are talking to me, like in English. I'm not sure what that's about. It was my guinea pigs a few days ago, then a regular pig (like a farm pig) last night. I don't think they were saying anything particularly profound (can't recall much of what they were saying).

do they actually like speak outloud, moving their mouths with the words and stuff? curious because in my dreams when animals "talk" to me it's always like telepathically or whatever and i "hear" what they're saying in my own voice, but somehow know it's them. Also curious because i wonder what an animal's voice would sound like compared to a human. esp a guinea pigs!

H just left on a job to El Paso, so he won't be home for like 10 hours. Nice quiet day and evening ahead for me....

They were actually moving their lips--it was weird! Interesting that it's more telepathic in your dreams. And good question on what their voices would sound like

Some Dr. T humor for you today:

We were talking about handshakes, which is how we end the sessions. (Something he said recently made me wonder whether he was still OK with them, and he confirmed today that he is.)

I mentioned how his hand always feels warm to me.

Dr. T: "Well, I make sure to sit on my hand for the last 10 minutes of the session to get it to just the right temperature."

Me: "You could use one of those infrared meat thermometers to check."

Dr. T: "Medium well: Perfect!"

You dont want to shake my hand after i been sittin on it for ten minutes.

Ha! Admittedly, I did have the thought that someone might read it as a bit odd. Hadn't thought of that aspect--I imagine especially not if you've had, say, beans?

Couch Workout Club day 34/35

• Went for a walk around the block yesterday
• Got my steps in today walking around town with a new support worker.

Couch Workout Club day 36

Three sets of core workout exercises.

Nice!


Forgot to add my 15-minute walk outside yesterday.

Thanks LT,

Today was my last virtual session with R, which we spent unpacking recent experiences of bravery.

I'm still not sure whether she understands the significance of next Tuesday, or if she's trying to help me by keeping quiet about it.

At least she didn't use the phrase 'back to normal' yet.

Glad you managed to get your walk in - it's raining here, and looks like it's going to rain all weekend.

Hugs, Lost. Could you maybe send a brief email to alert her to the significance of Tuesday's date? And glad she didn't use "back to normal."

Thanks LT,

I think it's going to take me a minute to get back in the swing of email contact.
Could say the same about most of my relationship with her, perhaps.

I'm glad that I've been able to use outside supports, but that doesn't change the fact that the conversations should have happened between us.

In my write-in group this morning I learned that NaNo (National Novel Writing Month), is now allowing participants to write those novels with AI. Big flap, sponsors and authors pulling out, etc.

I don't have any objection to using AI to spark a writing project--I've done it myself with letters of reference--and AI can't write a novel without human guidance. But I do kind of feel there is something essential about putting the words on the page or screen yourself, whether by typing, handwriting, or dictating. It's way more your work anyway. Kind of goes against NaNo's mission of inspiring people to finally start writing and putting the focus more on completing the challenge by hook or by crook.

Ugh, that really bothers me, too.