Couch 250: An August Couch

You need to stop giving people that power over you. What a complete stranger may think of you, should not more important than what you think about yourself.

You need to create a space in your heart, that the world can’t enter.

It takes time and doesn’t happen overnight. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become.

I used to listen to Grace Kelly by Mika on repeat when I was younger. It’s a good song. Starts with him asking why he wasn’t liked. “ Am I too dirty, am I too flirty? He realises that he could be any colour, but still would be disliked.

“Should I bend over? Should I look older just to be put on your shelf? “

It ends with “why don’t you walk out the door”.

Unsupported browser

Spotify songs always say unsupported, but still work.

Boy i had a rough night last night. That rarely happens. I may have made my morning coffee too strong, idk. Dreams, dreams, dreams when i finally did fall asleep. Plus up all night a-peein'. Just glad thsts over.

Oh hey i had my first period on Labor Day in 1962. Happy menstruversary to me!

That’s beautiful advice. Thank you.

Are you feeling a little better this AM? I’ve had nights like that. Does all that peeing cause muscle spasms? When I pee a lot I get them in my right calf usually.

that's a new one, mestruversary. although i think i celebrated the ending of it more than the beginning!

hope you're feeling better this morning.

I have absolutely no idea - not even how old I was. Somewhere in middle school age I am guessing because no one was worried about me being too young or too old.
The way some of you guys keep dates in your heads is something. I am lucky to remember my birthday and that of my parent, sibling, and partner. And mostly because I have them on the calendar

Mine was a rubbish Christmas present.

Yeah something like a holiday you would tend to remember. Plus i thought it was a pretty good pun - "labor" day? I didnt know much, but i knew i was now eligible to go into labor! By whatever witchery or spirit visitation that might occur!

The family were playing cards under the grape arbor in the back yard. I finally took a bathroom break and surprise! I called to my mother from their bedroom window that i needed her, but she refused to come. She offered to send MY FATHER. I said, no, it has to be YOU. Finally my brother's teenage girlfriend came in, checked me out, and she convinced my mother to come in. My mother goes, oh no, i shouldnt have let you get your booster shots last week, maybe thats what caused this. Again, i didnt know much, but i was pretty sure they were independent events and realized my mother could and would cripple me if i let her entertain her superstitious beliefs regarding my body. Scary af. So yeah, memorable. Then she offered me her torn up rags for pads or said i could go to the store on my own. Also never to tell ANYONE i was having my period. Not family, not schoolmates, not anyone.

This is why im a little bit crazy. This was my reality.

Speaking of dreams last night I had one that I applied for a job at Home Depot. Not sure why. lol

I love my bleed and I am sad that she's starting to stop. However, I am working at welcoming my crone and full, wise self.

I charge in 🍩’s. Please send 3 doughnuts as payment to Seattle.

I had to learn the hard way too. I let others define me for a very long time. Still working on unlearning it all.

It’s a DIY shop right? With bits and bobs to make your house a home and you have to do the job / it yourself.

Maybe it’s telling you that you have to be your own Superman.

I’m sorry you were not provided with proper support—both in terms of practical help and emotional guidance. You deserved better care .

I got it at 11. Hid it from my mother until I was 13. Even when she knew it didn’t occur to her to buy me sanitary towels. I used to just use tissue. Remember stealing pads from an aunt’s bathroom when I was at her house once. Sometimes I used to get such bad pains I couldn’t even move. The worse ones were the ones that woke you up in the night. I’ve cried a lot in the past and it filled me with dread to know that it would start again with the same intensity. Thankfully I outgrew that phase, and it’s more manageable but I’ve also had prolonged blood loss, but minor pain . You’re just left feeling so weak and tired. 🫠

I had a deep sense of shame with anything period related. I felt awkward buying them for myself and didn’t want people to see.

I made sure my sisters always had sanitary towels though, so a small price to pay.

I got both my eyebrows and hair done today. I’m also booked in for a bra fitting too on Friday. I haven’t gone to one since I was 17.

I have no plans yet for my 10 days off other than the concert tomorrow and to go to IKEA. I might go to Manchester if my brother lets me tag along with him, but that’s undecided.

It didn't really occur to me to be bothered by any of it much - it was a kind of annoying thing to deal with but beyond that - I didn't really think much about it. I read books about it. I knew what it was when it started, I knew what to do about it and that was it. I must have told my mother but I don't remember her response. One time my grandmother's friends were talking about what it was like when they were young - and some of them were not allowed to bathe or wash their hair if they had their period, the rag bucket, and other things that were interesting.
There was a comic who had a bit about how if men had periods -they would be competitive and bragging ("I use the absorbent kind" - "Well I use the super absorbent" - "I am the best -I use the super duper man sized..." and so on). It was more involved than that - but it might be too much for some to post here. Margaret Cho has a funny clip on it as well

You might like the book Women Who Run with the Wolves.

Today's holiday will throw the rest of my week off. I hope I go to teach at the right times on the right days. If I ever retire - I will never remember which day is which

Thank you for the reminder that I need to read that again.

This is already me in the summer.

As for the other topic, I was 12 but don’t remember the day—I think sometime in October.

Knew what it was, never much enjoyed it. Quite liked being on Lupron and not menstruating for 4-5 years a while back. Now it’s just a day here, a day there, unpredictable. Like ex-hankster’s bowels.

The only thing about it stopping was the unpredictability - were we really finished or just on a break for a few months with it popping back in just as I had quit carrying a handful of tampons around in my brief case

re: periods

Anyone ever read the cartoonist/graphic novelist Alison Bechdel? Love her work so much. She has some great material on menstruation woven into her comics and memoirs.

I read all her stuff but don't recall anything about it in there. I am lukewarmish on her work. The woman I hired got all excited about one of the graphic novels - I don't remember why.
It is fun to see what sorts of stuff people focus on or not

Looooove alison bechdel!

And excuse me, but my bowels are those that may not be maligned! I am the perfect pooper! Sometimes slightly obstreperous, but i think thats to be expected, given my fake eating habits! Admittedly, this is a fairly recent eventuation, given the ubiquity of bm's in the human lifeline.

Give a freudian an inch and they will go straight for the bowels every time