Long term therapist retiring- Any one share a similar experience

Hey, Has anyone here who has been in therapy long term and had to say goodbye to their therapist because of retirement had a positive ending with them? I'd love to hear some.

My therapist of 8 years is retiring next year which I'm finding difficult. I know i'll be fine but I very attached to her so the idea of it is painful. I'm even wondering if it might now be better to finish sooner before the end of the year rather than dragging it out until next year. Would love to hear anyone who has experienced saying good bye to their long term T.

My therapist of 8.5 years moved at the beginning of this year. It was really hard for me because of the attachment and connection that we shared. I am glad that I did not end early. I wanted every minute I could get with him. We shared letters that were very meaningful at the beginning of December and a second set of letters on our last session. I sobbed. He grabbed my hand. We hugged so hard and said goodbye. I hated saying goodbye to him so much.

Over the next 6 months, we spoke on a decreasing cadence via video call and there were some emails back and forth. In those emails I felt much more open and willing to share my feelings about him than I was before. His responses to those emails were thoughtful and meaningful. Unless he was lying to me, the connection was very mutual and I think I was important to him as well. I don't think we would have gotten to a point where those things could be said, at least on my end, if I had stopped seeing him early. He always told me he cared, but I think I was finally able to fully absorb it by the time we ended.

I think about March I started seeing a new therapist, a woman this time. I don't feel a connection with her, but I am able to talk about my issues. I'm not sure I'll ever feel anything near the connection I had with him.

We last spoke two months ago. It's been hard. I miss him quite a lot. I'm going through a rough patch at the moment and the urge to email him was very insistent in my head, so I did email him this week. He told me that if I ever emailed him he would respond, but it wouldn't be immediately, so I'm hoping that my email was okay and I have faith that he will respond eventually.

I don't know if any of this is useful, but this has been my experience.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It is very helpful to read it. I, too am deeply attached to my T. I don't want to leave prematurely, and in many ways would want to stay, seeing her as long as I could. Staying until next year just feels like a lot emotionally and will also be a bit more of a financial strain. I only see her twice a month, and the time in between sessions has started to feel very long again. My thoughts were maybe to try to go weekly but finish up earlier but I am very worried I'd regret it. I also do not want to do that as a way of protecting myself from the feelings which I know could be playing into my decision.

I hope you don’t mind me responding. The longest therapeutic relationship I’ve had before L was 4 years, so I’m not sure if one of my experiences count. But it’s similar. So two experiences that I’m relating with:

A therapist I saw when I was 18. It’s been so long that my timeline isn’t perfect. But I saw her weekly for 3 years. After that it was determined that I no longer needed therapy. I don’t know if she decided that or the county/organization. But I was okay. I had gained a lot of support during that time. I saw a school therapist for a while because my boyfriend broke up with me. That wasn’t helpful. And then my therapist contacted me months later. She had decided to transfer jobs to another city and wanted to know if I’d like to see her before she left. I agreed. We had weekly sessions again for a few months before she left. I am so grateful she allowed me that time. I got to really connect and get a lot of closure. The last day she gave me two transitional objects and gave me her email I could send updates to.

My other experience is with L. She told me as soon as she found out this last time that she was pregnant (at 2 months). That gave us about 7 months to work through things and get closure. I am so thankful she let me know asap and gave me that much time to process. I really believe that’s part of what made her leave bearable.

So from my experience, having all the time I could get to spend with them before they left was so beneficial to me. I think I would have regretted leaving before my time was up with them.

Are you allowed any contact with her after retirement? Have you thought of things that you might need or want beforehand? Transitional objects, pictures, letters, voice recordings, etc? Maybe process some of what you might want/need. And maybe talk to her about the pros and cons of leaving early vs staying the rest of the time.

20yrs,with my T.. We ended after covid.. Its not easy especially the first year and one still has the grieve but that's true of any relationship that ends.. I'd use the year to keep talking about it..

I lost mine over 10 years. What was sad, is yes she was getting older, and I belive she didnt want to see me anymore. So she became a *****, stuck her nose in my financial things. She had never been like that before. She intentionally hurt my feeling, when I asked what time it was she asked why. I said I dont feel like your helping me. She said I could leave anytime. Got up and left to never see her again! Thanks Patricia, you broke everything, and I will never forgive you, or forget!

This sounds very hard @davOD. Sorry to hear it ended so badly.

Thanks for sharing your experience. It's helpful to hear. I don't think I'm allowed any contact after. I haven't asked as I think I know the answer and not ready for that yet. I will ask eventually to reconfirm. Haven't reaally thought about what I might need or even want either tbh. No idea. I guess in a way I know that it is a grieving process of sorts and don't want to drag that out.