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Old Feb 22, 2008, 11:45 AM
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How much notice is appropriate when terminating with a therapist you have been seeing for a year and a half (twice a week the last five months).
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  #2  
Old Feb 22, 2008, 11:48 AM
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honestly I say you dont need to do anything....your paying for the service....I never said anyhting to my first T ....i just quit going and he
never called me or anything....
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 11:49 AM
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Brian,

How long were you seeing him?
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 11:51 AM
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over a year.....maybe 14 months....about 2-3 times a month
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 11:53 AM
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T said in the very beginning that if I decided to end to please give her 2 weeks notice, that we can also explore if ending is what I really want.
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 12:02 PM
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My T has never mentioned it but it seems to me that some sort of notice would be in order, at least for me because of the level of work we have been doing. However, two weeks would be unbearable. I think one session to wrap it up is enough.
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 12:13 PM
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If you are just giving your T notice, I would just do that. It's a professional service like Brian says. However, if you're interested in terminating, which is a process for both parties, I'd tell him the beginning of the next session you wish to terminate and see what develops. It could end the end of that session or he may suggest X numbers of other sessions or whatever but there'd be a real, joint discussion.

My termination took eight or nine months.
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  #8  
Old Feb 22, 2008, 12:16 PM
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(((((((( MissCharlotte ))))))))))) Are you sure about this?

I remember many years ago hitting a very rocky patch with my T and deciding I wanted to stop having therapy. But after a few days I realized that this was a reaction to the stuff that we were doing at the time.

I think if you have a think overall whether improvements have been made over the time you have been with T. Is this a knee-jerk reaction because you are dealing with particularly difficult stuff.

Give it some time, maybe have a break, but discuss with T how you feel before terminating.

My thoughts are with you. appropriate notice of termination
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  #9  
Old Feb 22, 2008, 01:03 PM
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MissCharlotte, there is no rule about how much notice to give. You are paying for his services, so you can stop that at any time. With my previous therapist, I just stopped going to see her one day. I never mentioned it and didn't plan it, I just never returned. Now I wish I had not done that, that I had told her at least the day of my last session that it would be my last and why therapy with her was no longer helpful to me. It would have been more adult and considerate for me to do that, and given myself a greater sense of closure.

I would think carefully about the emotional consequences for yourself, MissCharlotte, if you terminate abruptedly. Is one session really enough, given the depth of your relationship with your T? Make sure you give yourself enough time to work on this in therapy, process it, etc. It may take only 1 session, or maybe 10. But please don't shortchange yourself. This has been such an important relationship in your life, can it be ended in an emotionally satisfactory way in only 50 minutes? You say that two weeks would be unbearable. Why? That says to me you anticipate a lot of pain that cannot be resolved in one week. You deserve to give yourself as much time as you need with this.

appropriate notice of termination appropriate notice of termination appropriate notice of termination
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 02:19 PM
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I am not terminating. At least not today. appropriate notice of termination

But I have considered it--as you all well know--over the past month.

I was really just wondering if it became necessary what others would do. I suppose from all your answers--that you are all right!

Termination is as personal as the therapy and one single answer does not exist.

Peace

appropriate notice of termination appropriate notice of termination appropriate notice of termination appropriate notice of termination
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Old Feb 22, 2008, 02:29 PM
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I could see myself, being the ultimate avoider I am, but still determined to follow the general recommended protocol waiting until the end of a therapy session and saying, "You know..., I think I am cured. Thanks so much for all the warm conversations. I appreciate the insights you've given me. I think I'm done now. Bye." I would successfully meet the minimum termination recommendation but short change myself if the process. The thing is I know if I say I want to quite, I better mean it. I get the impression from my T that she will not play games. She wouldn't try to convince me to stay. She'd be like 'OK, well if you ever want to come back, you know the number.'

Miss Charlotte, I hope you are just working yourself though all possible scenarios here.
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  #12  
Old Feb 22, 2008, 02:42 PM
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McKell,

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I hope you are just working yourself though all possible scenarios here.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Of course I am.

But we're together again so I'll just file these away for next time. I suspect we two are very much alike. Home on a snow day today?

Peace

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Old Feb 22, 2008, 03:53 PM
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Yep! and the mental gears are working away, while the autopilot is grading tests. :-)
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  #14  
Old Feb 22, 2008, 04:16 PM
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I think out of courtesy for the relationship you had, seeing her in person or even a letter even might be helpful, explaining that you have left and why you don't need professional help anymore.
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