How is it that a client can have "mother/father" transferance issues with a T that is younger than client?

Wouldn't that be more like a sibling transferance?

Or does age of T have nothing to do with it and it is how "blank-slate" like they are?

[SeptemberMorn]

Umm... I'm not sure if you would call it "transference" but there is someone younger than I, a male, that I respect very much and somewhat feel like calling him "Daddy" sometimes. It's because he's caring and watchful, not just of me, but others as well. He's certainly a lot wiser and smarter than I am. He has no problem whatsoever in asking me if things are alright with me when I do something dumb.

My spern donor wasn't around when I was growing up, so I've felt for a long time that I needed a male role model.

When I was in therapy, especially when things would get really tough, I felt "taken care of" by my T. There was a bit of knowledge of my feelings that I considered her a mother.

There's an elderly neighbor of mine that I've often called "Mother!" because she affects me like my mom did when I was growing up. Rather demanding and clingy. Just saying the word isn't all that's involved. She actually has a negative impact on me in the emotional department.

So, there you have it.

[MissCharlotte]

Riptide,

I think it has to do with the quality of the relationship at the moment of the transference.

For example, my T and I are about the same age but "in the transference" has has been my mother, my father, my brother, my husband, and probably scads of others I haven't identified.

The transference isn't a fixed concept. It is dynamic and changes all the time

Peace

[RACEKA]

My T is 8 years younger than me, but emotionally he is much older. I am so dependent on him. He is a father to me. He lets me have it when I need it. He shows me a father doesn't have to be abusive to teach. He shows he cares about me too. He tells me if I lie to him he would be disappointed. He makes me feel so good.

The transference is there, you call him whatever you want.

[Fragmented]

Hi Riptide, I am not sure this helps but here is more information on transference and how the term came into use and its definition:

Psychology Definition: "The main characteristic (of transference) is the experience of feelings to a person which do not befit that person and which actually apply to another. Essentially, a person in the present is reacted to as though he were a person in the past. Transference is a repetition, a new edition of an old object relationship.... The person reacting with transference feelings is in the main unaware of the distortion."1

Metapsychology Definition: Transference is reacting to a person in the present as though he or she were a person in one's past.

The concept of transference originated with Freud and is commonly used in psychology and psychotherapy. Freud noticed that some patients reacted to him as though he were a parent and that female patients often tended to "fall in love" with him. Freud concluded that, during therapy sessions, patients were unconsciously transferring the feelings and attitudes they had had toward early significant figures in their lives onto the analyst. Initially, he just noted the phenomenon but did not comment on it within the therapy session. Later, he concluded that addressing the transferential relationship between analyst and patient was the curative factor in psychoanalysis, and made interpreting the transference the cornerstone of the theory and practice of psychoanalysis.

I think it helps to know the word's definition and orgin and how it is suppose to be viewed. In further reading it can be used to define a relation between parent and child in any relationship however, I think by and large it is mainly used in therapy. I know in my own, my therapy views it as necessary and it is his duty to keep it safe and appropriate. He said initially that it was vital to trust as well. I am not sure I am there yet in either case but I am am doing better with him so maybe i have a slight case.

I do agree that it is ever changing. To fit how therapy and the progress being made

I hope this helps


fragmented

riptide the age and even the gender do not really matter.. it's not a literal thing. It can be a difficult concept to wrap one's head around in part because it sounds far more straight forward than it is... it can be about transferring feelings surrounding a parent without seeing the T AS the parent for one thing.... erotic transference does not rely on the T's gender even being in line with one's sexual preference... such as having erotic transference for a female t if you are a hetero female as well... Transference is anything but literal.

in the end it means you are reacting to things from outside the therapy room as though they originated from within the room. Examine one's own reactions and see if it really holds water. Was my first T last year really all that hot? Well, he certainly did look hot and he had all that intense focus for sure.. but what did i know about *him*? Nothing. i knew nothing. How can you be really "in love" with someone you know nothing about? sexually attracted yes, but in love? All i knew was what i brought into the room with me and *that* was transference.

I guess based on all your experiences and answers that I should not be embarrassed if I have parental transferance with a younger T. You all seemed to make it sound as "what happens, happens"

At least I am beginning to understand this...alittle

it very much it "what happens happens" The whole idea is that the things which you do to cause you grief will eventually show up in the therapy room. The theory aspects of transference can get hairy as big names try to argue the minute points... forget those... it's all the stuff that you do that isn't about what is actually happening... it's when T says one thing and we hear another, or put a new meaning on it that isn't based on fact... it's a host of things...

but no.. no shame or weirdness about maternal transference on a younger t

the trick is though that at some point you will need to explore it with her... it has to be worked through...

[chaotic13]

Every time this topic is raise there is some interesting twist. I never thought about the age issue.