[snow123]

Around 6 to 8 months ago I was seeing a t, we had 5 sessions and for some reason I felt I needed to stop which I did, then she says if I need her in a week I could call.

Now, I'm really struggling, the past few months I have isolated and withdrawn from society.

I dont know if I can talk to her about the things I want to talk about. How do I know if she is the right one or if I should seach for another?

How long did it take for you to know that your t was the one you will be working with? was there a special moment ?

[winterbaby]

Do you feel you've made any progress with her? Do you feel there is a fit between you and here when you were going? Do you feel she has your best interests in mind? Those are questions you need to ask yourself. The fit is most important. 5 sessions is not a lot, but it may be enought to judge without wasting more time if she is not the one for you. I had 3 t's and every one of them was different and I worked OK with each of them. I think it's what you're willing to put into it as well.

[Mouse_]

I think only time will tell if she is good enought...how did you feel about her when you saw her for the 5 sessions? did she seem attentive? was it just you weren't ready to begin to talk? I think if you didn't feel right about her at all, she would be lost from your mind...you'd know inside already.

[chaotic13]

Snow,
You've taken a break but now you feel like maybe you ended therapy too soon. It sounds like you ended with your last T on good terms and left the door open to return, which is good. My question is have you seen anyone else or was your last T your first experience with therapy?

If it was your first experience with therapy you may want to consider trying some new first. This would give you a comparison. Since you've already stop therapy this would be a perfect time to try someone new. If the new T doesn't workout you can always start back up with your old one. By trying someone new you can then have some answer for the question--Would I be doing better if I was working with someone else?

As for how long did it take me to figure out if my T was the right one to work with or not? I've been going for 8 months and it has only been the last 3 that I've decided that she is someone I can work with. I still do not feel comfortable talking about many issues but that is just who I am. My T has seemed to be OK with who I am from the beginning. It just took me 5 month to figure that out. I still question our interactions at times, I don't think that will ever change.

When I get in the mode where I am questioning if my T is right for me, I usually rewind the therapy tapes (mental tapes not real tapes :-) )and look closely for evidence of a bad connection. I tend to get paranoid about stupid crap, so I ask myself, has my T done anything that demonstrates she is not trustworthy, is judgmental, dismissive, deliberately hurtful? When I do this exercise I usually realize that she has gone out of her way to avoid any of these actions. In my case when I do this session analysis I find many subtle things that she has done that provide evidence that she IS trustworthy, she is NOT judgmental, dismissive, or intentionally hurtful.

If you are questioning if you T is right for you, you have given yourself the room to try someone new. Otherwise you can take a close look at your interactions with your current T and see if she is or isn't meeting your needs.