How do you end your sessions??

For the past few sessions, I've mentioned to T how awkward I feel at the end of our sessions. We talked about it for a while today, because he felt like it was important to figure out why I feel that way.

Currently, he gets up from his chair, walks across the room to his desk, comes back and writes out a receipt, confirms my next appointment, and then reaches across the room and takes my check/gives me my receipt. (at this point these days, we do a lot of laughing because we know the awkward part is coming up). Then I get up and walk out the door while he does who-knows-what behind me and calls after me "see you monday". I asked him today what he does, and he said he thinks he just walks across to his desk to write his notes. I know he probably paid attention to what he did today and he'll tell me next time.

SOOOOO, there is a "ritual" involved, because it's the same thing every time, but somehow it feels unfinished to me. I feel like I need something "special" that we do or say every time....especially so, on hard days when I'm upset or angry at him or whatever, we have a way to show "we're still the same people" (his words). If we do/say this thing on the hard days and the easy days, I feel like it might make me feel safer, and help me hold onto our connection between sessions, which is SUPER hard for me.

Thinking about it now, I think I want our "own" ritual, so I can kind of leave him with "earthmama" instead of just "client #23", if that makes any sense.

I grew up in an extrememly unpredictable and abusive environment, and never ever knew what to expect when I walked in the door after school. I need T, and the whole therapy process, to be kind of predictable and safe.

So.....ideas? I know he is okay with touch, so I thought of a handshake...but that might be too much touch for ME. I mean, our WHOLE HANDS touching?? Eeeek (I also have some sexual abuse issues from my past). We have touched fingertips before when he was trying to help me be present during my hardest session ever. So, I know fingertip touching is safe.

I think for some reason I really want this ritual to involve touch, maybe just because I know it's available. What do other people do??

I do have a pretty marble he gave me out of a dish of them in his office to help me "hold on" to him and our relationship between sessions

I would LOVE to hear what other people do.

And also..."hi" to everyone This is my first post!

um... i think she says "well.... " then either says something like i'll see you next week, or pulls out her calendar.
Drat - that reminds me that my session is *not* on monday now... it won't be until wed. =( that's 2 whole days extra i have to get through this week... *sigh*.
sometimes she hugs me if it looked like a hard session or she's worried about the upcoming week for me.
kiya

Mine just usually just kind of end. What I like is that we never do the business end in her actual office. We walk down to the reception area, pay the bill and schedule the next appoint. I like that billing and therapy separate.

Mine usually end with T asking me how I feel, if I'll be ok, can she give a basic doing good/ needs extra support report to my social worker, then she books next appointment and walks me to the cab. A good T in my opinion.

my T has to pry me off the couch kicking and screaming like a two-year old and drag me up to the office where she gets help from the office lady to throw me out the door and lock it behind me to keep me from coming back in and asking my T for just 10 more minutes and...............wait......im sorry I was dreaming

we usually just end and book another appointment and exchange goodbyes in the usual mannerisms of modern day therapeutic
treatment....

wow...ive had way too much sugar today

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Brian37 said:
my T has to pry me off the couch kicking and screaming like a two-year old and drag me up to the office where she gets help from the office lady to throw me out the door and lock it behind me to keep me from coming back in and asking my T for just 10 more minutes and...............wait......im sorry I was dreaming

we usually just end and book another appointment and exchange goodbyes in the usual mannerisms of modern day therapeutic
treatment....

wow...ive had way too much sugar today

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LOL you've def had way too much something today.

Mine have been ending way over the scheduled time because I have been experiencing overwhelming emotions more towards the end of the session.

In the last two sessions he has held my hand at the end in order to give me something to hold onto, emotionally, outside of the session.

I normally try to lock eyes with him at the end of the session, if it was particularly charged one (in which I don't feel like kicking the %#@&#! out of him) and just say "thank you."

Mine usually wraps up by him giving me a homework assignment to work on for the week. Usually stuff that has me searching inside me to find good in myself. Its been really helpfu. But I still have my moments where I struggle really bad. But anyways.. he writes that on a posty note and then I stick it in my notebook. I get my coat on and he opens the door for me and sometimes walks me out to the window where I pay or goes inside and the receptionists office to make sure I have my appts lined up. He is a realy gentleman.. he opens doors for me to enter his office and when I leave lol.. I've never had that before!!! I think he just gives a woman the respect that she deserves.. his mama and wife trained him well lol hahaha

"Well," she says "we have to stop here."
Then I grumble in jest, hand her the check, sometimes we confirm the next appointment time (I think she does this when she wants me to remember that we will meet again, when I need to leave with that in mind), and I wish her a good week as we walk from the room together. Sometimes she walks down the short hall with me to the outer door.

Then I imagine she goes back to the room and dances a jig, glad to be rid of me. hehe .

LOL Brian.
Oh Echoes... I am sure t is not glad to be rid of you!!
my payment/check in is also seperate from therapy (which is nice), though mine used to be hand T check before session.

I think my T does this sometimes!

It depends on how hard the session is, when it is really hard he he pats my back on the way past him in the doorway. He usually tries to close or wrap up in some way. Have you ever notices sometimes it is so hard to get up from the chair, like your butt is made of lead or something. lol

My T say's we need to close. He'll ask if I have anything else to share that's quick. He'll ask me if I'm ok. He'll then ask me if he can pray for me. I'll tell him yes and he'll pray for me. He'll ask me if I'm on the schedule for next week. He'll then open the door and walk me out to the reception area where the outside door is. We chit chat on the way. He doesn't handle the money or appointments.

We end by scheduling a session for next week. Often that involves him going to sit at his desk to look at his appointment book. Sometimes we hug if it has been a really intense session. Sometimes I tell him thank you if the session has been really helpful to me, he has given a lot of himself, etc. I pay at the beginning of session, so we don't have the money to take care of at the end. When we first met, he requested that we handle the payment that way, because he said it would be less disruptive to what we had just experienced in session.

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ECHOES said:

Then I imagine she goes back to the room and dances a jig, glad to be rid of me. hehe .

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LOL.....Mine too!!!!!!!!

T tells me that we have to go, especially since we end late quite often. She asks if there's anything else I'd like to share, and if I do, then I will. Then, we figure out an appointment time for next time, and I walk out. Sometimes my mom will come up (T's office is on the second floor of the building) and they'll talk for a little bit, usually while I'm right there and just about what we talked about.

i know shes going to end because if she had her feet up, she plops one leg down. she gradually returns to an upright position, and says something like, "think about it." or "so how are you going to get through the next few days?" or if we ran overtime, "well, i actually have to end now, but call me if you need to ok?" i love when she says, "are you going to come back and see me next week?" i want to scream OF COURSE I AM i'll come back to see you in 5 minutes if thats okay, haha.

tonight things ended a little differently though. we had an 8:00 session, and it ran till about 9:25ish. she said she had to end but she said, "since you are the last one, do you want to hang out for a little bit while i close up?" uh YES! so we chatted as she closed everything and turned lights off and i walked out the forbidden door that only T's use, hahaha. and we hugged outside and we got in our cars. i watched her in my rear view mirror until i had to turn off the road. that was an odd ending, but i liked it.

lol KB, i have done that, too - watching t (or her office or her car) from the rear view until i can't see it any more - or am in danger of running off the road. Me, attached? Nah...
Mine always runs late also... and i am at night....so i'm like the last one in the parking lot except for her little car.

Well, first off I have to hear that %#@&#! timer ring. Depending on when we started, I may have anywhere from 13 minutes to none left. I am forcing all of my negative energies on that timer. I'm tellin' ya', it's going to go and there'll be no asking. No contract. No nothing.

T says, "Well, it's time for me to let you go." He walks towards the door to get me the hell out of there. He may ask me a general question or something about work as we walk down the hall.

Today I left bawling. He doesn't care. He just doesn't %#@&#! care. The 50 minutes was up. I'm worth 50 minutes to him. And I'm not worth more than a hippo. So what does that make me?