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#1
Mar 19, 2008, 10:07 AM
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I normally see T mondays and Fridays, but because of Easter T asked would I like to move My day so I dont miss a session? So I saw her today and then dont see her till next wednesday, and though I haven't missed a session, just the "difference" makes me feel like I'm loosing something again.
I asked her today why haven't I learnt yet that people can't be with someone 24/7? T said, well I think its a deep need. I said, yeah but why ain't I learnt yet? T said because your still trying to be "put first" Aha!!! when she said those words, a whole lot of stuff begun to make sense. Words that describe the reason for the anguish inside, also the words soothed the anguish inside. Hearing the words the adult part gets to understand the child part that-little-bit-more. Well I can certainly find healthy ways to put that part of me first over the Easter, and intend to do so! I did mention to T laughing that wouldnt it be good if the session went on until we couldnt bear to be with each other any longer LOL or until our defects became to ugly LOL and T said she knows of a French Psychotherapist that does that. A session could be 5mins or 4hrs long. I said OH no I couldnt bear that in reality, and T said, well I wonder how his other patients feel about that? I guess the appointment schdeule must be pretty neurotic LOL! T asked me then did that always happen? That I get red up with people once they do something I dont like? I said well I use too, but now someone might say something and for a minute I think, oh I wish they hadn't said or done that, but now I can manage to get to a place where I think, oh well I dont like that about them, but I still like the person regardless. T said that sounds like progress, I said yes, I guess it does.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#2
Mar 19, 2008, 10:31 AM
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just a question........do you really feel like you need your T 24/7?
im kinda exploring that realm as well |
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#3
Mar 19, 2008, 10:46 AM
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Did you not read my post?
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#4
Mar 19, 2008, 10:51 AM
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yes I did....just wanted to know if that was a real need or part of something else.......maybe Im not making sense....
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#5
Mar 19, 2008, 12:51 PM
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It is hard when we have our own insides and put things/others first or in a ranking and then have to realize that other people have their own rankings and we may be 3rd with this person or 27th, etc. I forget that my ranking system is not "the" ranking system.
It gets interesting, looking at what there is to learn and seeing how impossible it was that our particular parents teach of that stuff, they didn't know it themselves.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#6
Mar 19, 2008, 01:45 PM
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Brian, I don't know what to say...part of me believed they needed T 24/7 as I said in my original post and now the adult part of me knows why that child part felt that way...so the feeling was real....
Pernal its not a matter of ranking systems now, as T said, she is genuine in all her relationships..it was me that thought in "ranking" systems....but I see what T was meaning now....as long as we are genuine in the moment with any one person then they/we are coming first...what a fundamental discovery that is...my child part was the one doing the thinking...
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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#7
Mar 19, 2008, 03:37 PM
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Nice post Mouse.
Your child part is so smart. Hey that rhymes!!! Happy Easter  PS I would like to be with T 24/7. The longing to be taken care of is oh so strong. Or,is it the I of my youth? Hmmmm.
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#8
Mar 19, 2008, 04:02 PM
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I frequently create ranking systems for perceived needs and wants. I think my problem is I never put my needs or want in the list. Then when they are ignored, I get resentful. I resent that everyone else's needs take priority over my own--- but I'm the %#@&#! who did the ranking in the first place.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font> mouse said: ....as long as we are genuine in the moment with any one person then they/we are coming first.. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Wow!
__________________
"Joy is your sole's knowledge that if you don't get the promotion, keep the relationship, or buy the house, it's because you weren't meant to.You're meant to have something better, something richer, something deeper, Something More." (Sara Ban Breathnach) |
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#9
Mar 19, 2008, 04:14 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mouse_ said: as long as we are genuine in the moment with any one person then they/we are coming first... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I find this very wise. Very profound. Yet simple.
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"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
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