T's are really judgemental...they just keep it private.

Any thoughts on this?

Personally I think that they are...it's human nature to be so and to have a judgement. Pretending not to, goes against human behavior.

i think the majority of people in the world are quite judgemental, yeah. takes a special person with special abilities not to be. i don't think therapists have a trademark on that. indeed... cognitive restructuring is quite a judgemental exercise! there are some who are accepting. but my experience is that they are few and far between, yup.

Everyone has judgements and opinions. There's nothing wrong with that. If the judgement interferes with the work, then there is something very wrong with that. I know that if I am working with someone that I have a judgement about, I ask myself why and just work through it so that it doesn't get in the way of the therapy. I really think the whole point is that a therapist doesn't have to AGREE with what a patient does, but he/she does have a responsibility to ACCEPT whatever it is.

Yes,and yes! I have a couple of friends who are T's and usually when blowing off steam , rant about how dumb people can be sometimes. But they wouldn't do it in therapy, of course not, but they do have views on stuff, but have to keep it out of the room as much as possible.

yeah. i encountered that a lot when i studied psychology. people aspiring to be therapists who shouldn't have been allowed within 10 feet of the psychologically vulnerable. blowing off steam in the form of ranting about clients isn't appropriate. they could do it in THEIR OWN therapy of course (on the understanding that it is an issue they need to deal with). but having those kinds of views unexplored like that... is something that shows with action and words even if they are in fact trying to repress it as much as possible. what they are doing is unprofessional.

Precisely why I have trouble opening up in therapy about some of my bad mistakes in the past. And it's one reason why I don't feel comfortable with female therapists...I just feel like women don't like women like me. If that makes any sense....

It is complicated. I would say that Psychologists have more of an opinion of the way people behave because it is their profession.

They are spending their lives trying to understand why people make the decisions they do. Most psychologists know that it is nearly impossible to make assumptions about behavior and that making assumptions about a patient can cloud your judgment.

Yes I know my T has opinions, he shares them with me and they are about me. If I disagree we talk about it. He's usually right though

I had the opportunity to read some private emails about me that were sent among professionals (I was accidentally copied on them--whoops). One of them was from my T. Nothing he said was bad or judgmental! Phew! What he wrote matched what I think is the opinion he has of me that he projects when we are in session. Some of the other people's emails weren't so complementary...

As long as he doesn't judge me negatively, I'm fine with it, LOL. He tries to stay within his tightly knit boundaries when it comes to expressing judgmentalism, but sometimes, oooops, it slips.

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Soliaree said:
As long as he doesn't judge me negatively, I'm fine with it, LOL.

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LOL! Yeah, me too....but I am always feeling T being judgemental anyway...even if T has not said anything.

Sunny what does he mean he projects? Is he referring to mirroring?

It is important to evaluate,,that is part of the service.

There may be a fine line between judgement and evaluation but a good course marker is if the thought is based upon feelings.

I know for me..whenever I am judging,,,it is me who is sitting on the stand....and I know that if I am in any way judging I cannot be loving.

IMHO.

Lenny

When in doubt, I always ask. This is a part of our relationship that I really like, that I can ask any question and he'll always try to answer it. My T is not (it seems) by nature very judgmental, although everyone is to a point.

There is plenty of research demonstrating that comparing and judging is what people do, all people. The last time my T said "no judgment", I called him on it. He had to agree that judgment occurs, but he likes to call it "processing" and said it does not imply anything negative. T says the problem is that we assume a judgment of badness.

Call it what you like, in my opinion, Ts are only human and yes, they judge; they just don't verbalize their judgments. And I guess I'll give them this - they are probably less likely to judge negatively than many, probably because they've heard it all!