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#1
Apr 07, 2008, 01:18 PM
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So, my sister just called and said that she has been in the mental unit of the hospital since THURSDAY! Yeah, like 5 days! She said that she went in to see a new physician to try to get some meds and she said that apparently he thought she was more depressed than she was letting on so he put her in the hospital.
I knew she was depressed and getting increasingly angry since the death of our mother 2 months ago, but I didn't know it was this bad. I am really glad she got sent there because I couldn't deal if she wasn't here at all. Part of me is jealous because I would love to go away again (been before) for 5 days and just not have to think for myself and just get away from my life for a while, but I am so afraid that I would lose my job, then not be able to pay rent or bills, my boyfriend would leave (even though he swears he wouldn't), etc.... I want to just go away so badly. I just want this life to be over so that I can, possibly, start a new. I know this is not a possibility as I would never be able to do that to my family and BF. Besides, not knowing what happens after death scares me to no end!  Maybe my T will help me thru all of this, but I would NEVER tell her about my thoughts on myself. I will talk to her about my sister to see how to get thru all this. I am so confused right now.
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"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open."  Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped. 
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#2
Apr 07, 2008, 02:07 PM
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I'm glad your sister got herself help. I wish you would tell your T how you're feeling and would figure out how to get yourself a break/help in hospital if you need it. I don't think you would lose your job and if your boyfriend says he'd support you, I think you should give him a chance too; better to learn it now than later if there's a problem, etc.
No, death will not solve current problems and is not an answer to how to work through all this. I'm sorry for you all's struggle with the grief over the loss of your mother 2 months ago; hope things get a bit better soon.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#3
Apr 07, 2008, 02:25 PM
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Perna,
I am *thinking* about telling my T, but I will have to be VERY careful. I don't want to go under HER direction, I would want to go because *I* want to. I don't feel ready, though....Would I ever feel ready? BLAH Thanks for the input...I have some thinking to do... BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#4
Apr 08, 2008, 12:14 AM
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I wish I could go to the hospital. I need a break.
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#5
Apr 08, 2008, 12:19 AM
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I've never really been one for hospitals, but right now the only real thing that's keeping me alive is not wanting to hurt friends and family. I can't help but wonder whether I should be there. I worry about how it would affect work though.
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#6
Apr 08, 2008, 12:47 AM
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Well as I am sitting in the ER of a Hospital let me give you my opinion!
Hospitals are not for a vacation lol.. We admit people to our behavioral medicine because they present a danger to themselves or other people. We also admit persons who need medication management or intense therapy to get them feeling better. Expierences in the psychiatric ward greatly vary. It can be a very scary place to be for some people but it does not have to be that way. The staff will do their best to provide targeted therapy and keep you safe. Our goal is that when you leave you not only feel better but have learned some things about yourself. Things that will help you cope with your situation and not have to keep coming here.
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Chris The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it. Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.) |
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#7
Apr 08, 2008, 01:06 AM
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You're an ER doc? Nurse?
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#8
Apr 08, 2008, 01:43 AM
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(((((((Bj))))))))
hang in there... thinking about you!!
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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#9
Apr 08, 2008, 07:17 AM
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Thanks everyone.
Psychris - I definitely don't look at it as a vacation..LOL I am only thinking of it as a way to get help in, like you say, managing my meds, making sure I don't do anything stupid and helping with the intrusive thoughts. It is getting so hard and I am at the point where I have no idea what I am going to do. I just don't feel like I am able to deal with *me* and that is why I am thinking about it. Probably won't go, though. I don't like people worrying about me and I don't like when people think bad of me and I know if I were to go to hospital they would think bad of me. 
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#10
Apr 09, 2008, 02:18 AM
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I try to encourage people not to separate a medical visit and a psychiatric visit.
If you think about it they are not that different. Let' take Congestive Heart Failure for instance.. It often results in admission to the hospital. Fluid builds up around your lungs and you are unable to breathe. Now CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) can be controlled with medication in most instances. Not everyone will get CHF. CHF is often caused by years of smoking and heart disease. It is the product of choices we make throughout our lives. Choices that may have been in our control or out of our control. It is also the product of genes. If your family members have Heart Disease you are more likely to get it yourself. It can be avoided by proper health habits and regular checkups. I'd like any person to explain to me how Depression or any mental disease is different! Depression is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. It has genetic roots. It can be prevented or caused by the choices we make in our lives. Either willingly or unwillingly. The diseases of the mind are no different than diseases of the body. There are small maladies like colds and terrible diseases like cancer. The mind is no different. There is no need to be ashamed of a psychiatric visit. They serve the same purpose as the Medical Part of the hospital.
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Chris The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it. Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.) |
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#11
Apr 09, 2008, 03:06 AM
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onlymedid,
sometimes, when we think about getting out of things that are - we are really seeking change...as I said, sometimes. a change can be a different job around new people, a new apartment on another side of the city, or a new city altogether....taking a cooking class or going to night school learning a new skill for writing or something to build a career on. anyway, this thought popped into my head when i read your post. if the shoe fits, as they say, you are welcome to wear it. Have a nice week, nightbird 
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I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness. - Walt Whitman |
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#12
Apr 09, 2008, 01:39 PM
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Well when I went " away " I went to a Christian hospital. I stayed for three and a half months. And it WAS a vacation of sorts. I was at the very bottom when I went, not able to function at all. When I got there I was so relieved to be free of taking care of everyone around me. Free of protecting them from me ( or so I thought ). Free of the charade, " hey I am alright " " no problems here ". I didn't have to hide the cuts and scars. I didn't have to hold back the tears. The RELIEF was immense and almost spiritual. So, if anyone tells you that hospitals are scary or " not the place to be " or any negative input, I would be cautious in taking their advice, probably they haven't been where you are emotionally. My experience was life changing for the good and it certainly saved my life.
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#13
Apr 09, 2008, 02:17 PM
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I find hospitals are a mixed bag.
One I went to seem like it was more if of warehouse than anything although it may be that they transfer most of their patients. It's right beside a suicide magnet and I traveled from my home to get there. One here in the city was quite nice. If I hadn't accidentally OD'd and really needed the hospital it could have worked.
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#14
Apr 11, 2008, 04:55 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
PsyChris said: Depression is caused by an imbalance of chemicals in the brain. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> For an alternative view on the proposition that "chemical imbalance in the brain" is a cause of any mental illness, people might take a look at this article: http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/516262
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Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#15
Apr 11, 2008, 05:51 PM
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"I don't really think [DTCA statements about serotonin in depression] are untrue, especially if they are presented with qualifiers such as 'research suggests' and 'scientists believe,' but they might be bordering a little on unbalanced, so I think the FDA could be doing a little better in this regard," Dr. McCarter said. "By implying that depression is 'only' a chemical imbalance, [the ads] are leaving out very important aspects of the depression story. A 'balanced' statement on the etiology and treatment of depression directed at consumers should note that certain forms of counseling or psychotherapy, in particular cognitive-behavioral therapy, is equally effective in the treatment of major depression as antidepressant medication, and that together they are even better." </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I do agree with that statement. I was not implying it was traditional neurotransmitters that were responsible for the chemical part of depression. I do believe that in order for depression to occur there must be chemical compromises in the brain. We have not yet identified all of the neurotransmitters and research is on going. I do not like providing abstract statements about very real conditions to people. "Hey, your depressed....we can't really be sure why...but try this method" Who would put faith in a method to treat a disease when we aren't really sure of the cause!? The obvious answer is we have studies to support our findings and results from patients that show depression medication is effective. There are studies that support the finding that psychotherapy is (*coughs* more *coughs) effective in treating depression. Whatever the person chooses to star themselves on the road to getting out of depression is a good one.
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Chris The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it. Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.) |
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#16
Apr 11, 2008, 07:15 PM
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I prefer being told by my doctor I'm/We're not sure what causes x, but current thought is y. it seems to respond well to z, so I'm going to perform/prescribe z. Don't tell me you know something when you don't; it insults my intelligence.
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#17
Apr 11, 2008, 07:31 PM
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Well, there have been tons of changes and I just wanted you all to know that I am not feeling so SU right now.
My BF just left me, but that is a whole other story (in depression section). I am dealing with it rather well. One thing I think I failed to mention is that I am bipolar/PTSD/DID so there are many factors contributing to my wanting to just escape. I really appreciate all of the input you have provided me. I have talked with T and although I didn't tell her how I was feeling I talked about my sister and how it felt to have her in the hospital. It sort of put things into perspective for me. I don't want to worry my family. I don't want them to constantly think that they need to do something or say something or call me to make sure I'm ok. I am trying REALLY hard to just go to T and work on ME. BJ
__________________
"The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open." Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.
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#18
Apr 11, 2008, 09:16 PM
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(((((((((bj)))))))))))
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
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