Talking to my doctor about something important and I don't know how to put it!

I have new information about my possible diagnosis (Dysthymic Disorder) but every time I come to him with ideas, he brushes them aside like nothing. Why is that? I've been psychotic before apparently (even when I could make those voices stop and the delusions stop at certain points) and haven't been psychotic in over a year. We are decreasing my Geodon and nothing has happened. I still get anxious about this and that, but that is hardly psychosis. Gosh, what a mess...

I see him tomorrow. Any suggestions on how we could discuss this would be greatly appreciated. He really is a kind individual and listens to me usually. I just need the phrasing of how to do it. I haven't spoken of diagnosis ever since I went on that awful tirade about psychotic major depressive disorder. Sure, I may have had at least one, but that was after a year of mild to moderate depression. Dysthymia sounds like it with some minor psychosis caused by a worsening in mood. That doesn't sound so inconceivable does it? Does it...?

No it doesn't Phil...

But,,,I hate buts... ...would it be less stressfull for you in all aspects of your life if you were as concerned about your overall health and progress rather than a definition...?

It seems you have made tremendous progress with keeping tabs on your welfare and self appraisel...is it necessary to have a professional(?)conclusion?....

No one can know more about us than us....

IMHO.

Lenny

The doctors do a diagnosis for themselves, it doesn't really have a lot to do with us. But I think dysthymia is just a fancy word for chronic depression, I don't think it ever has psychosis associated with it:

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx14.htm

But like Lenny says, if it helps you to think of yourself that way and work on your problems, that's a good thing. Do you have some article or something you can take with you when you see him as a prop to show him and help him know how important you feel it is?

What else could it be though? This is why diagnoses %#@&#! me off, because there is NEVER a clear answer. I don't even know what I have! Depression that causes me to be negative, tired, eat less and wanting to make me kill myself that usually has some sort of residual thing. These days, I'm less tired even if I am still tired, I mostly either feel apathetic or miserable and I don't eat as much. Sometimes I feel OK, then I feel like complete crap. Certain things just %#@&#! me off too. Like yesterday for instance, I hit someone in the chest because I was so angry, then attempted to rip off someone's head phones because they were annoying me. Then I felt happy, then guilty, then anxious, then OK. It's not manic depression because I've never had a manic episode and it isn't schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder because I'm not psychotic. Jesus Christ, why can't somebody tell me what is going on?! Or I just don't have any problems. That's another option too. Who the hell knows?

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This is why diagnoses %#@&#! me off, because there is NEVER a clear answer. I don't even know what I have!

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A diagnosis is just a word or two about your whole internal world of experiences. I never used to think a diagnosis was important and I still don't think it's all that important; however, my recent diagnosis (beyond just anxiety and depression) did give me relief in a way because it took away some of that feeling of being defective. It doesn't change anything though, my symptoms, my internal chaotic world, still remain to be learned about and supported through therapy.

I used to think if I could just find the exact description/diagnosis for me, then the path to feeling better would be clearer or easier or something. But it isn't 'out there', it's 'in here' in us.

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Depression that causes me to be negative, tired, eat less and wanting to make me kill myself that usually has some sort of residual thing. These days, I'm less tired even if I am still tired, I mostly either feel apathetic or miserable and I don't eat as much. Sometimes I feel OK, then I feel like complete crap. Certain things just %#@&#! me off too.

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I know you've looked into a lot of diagnoses. I'm wondering if you have considered Borderline PD?

Maybe an interesting therapy discussion could be your intense desire for a diagnosis that feels right to you, what that means to you.

Good luck with your pdoc. I hope you come away from your appointment feeling satisfied and hopeful.

I found my diagnosis important (bipolar II) because it allowed my pdoc and I to use different medication that were most effective. I'd rather have major depressive disorder, because then it might enter remission and never occur again. I'd rather have no mental illness at all. The DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) was designed to allow researchers and clinicians to communicate about research participants and patients. A diagnosis, ultimately, is just a set of symptoms that commonly occur together.

Have you taken any diagnostic testing like the MMPI-2? Can you ask to be tested if not?