transaction analysis

my T told me about it yesterday. apparently i need to be more adult in my conversation and not allow myself to sink back to being the compliant child. i guess i do tend to do such, but only b/c im stuck in the motions of survivng my stepmother still. she hasnt been in my life for 4 years, but i cant seem to let her yelling and threatening go away from me. its like its ingrained in me....

if someones mad....go away and be quiet and then do whatever to fix the situation that will keep harm from me.
^stuff like that. i do it on instinct from doin it so long and i dont realize what im doing until its done.

im not sure im understanding TA fully.

It's hard to get over stepmothers; I'm 57 and only now getting over mine who has been dead for 7 years and I haven't lived with for 35!

Transactional analysis can be fun, is that what your T and you are working with?

Maybe one of the Analysis associations explains it so you can understand more: http://www.usataa.org/

well, she told me about it yesterday.

sometimes she hurts my feelings. but i dont take criticism well.....actually, i cant take it at all.

I was not going to respond, but....

...her comment would have hurt me as well. Obviously you need to regress. Therapy is about working through that so that you "develop" and grow and have a different perspective on things.

But telling a client that you need to change...I would discuss that issue, because she is basically saying that "you are not acceptable."

Just my thoughts.

Halliebeth, it is one thing to understand on a cognitive level that you are being the "compliant child", but it doesn't necessarily help you to not be that way just because your T points this out. As you mentioned, you are "stuck" in the past motions of surviving and your way of coping is "ingrained in you." Deep work--getting at your feelings and their origins--might help you to move beyond these behaviors and become unstuck--but only if you want to and when you want to. It can take a while. Has T offered anything to you to help you address the past and get beyond being stuck?

no

Yes

she says i let my fear of abuser control me

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
HALLIEBETH87 said:
she says i let my fear of abuser control me

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">What is she doing to help you with this besides telling you what she thinks your problem is? Can you ask her? Maybe say something like, "How can you help me with that?"

I agree, its a bit like a T saying to me
"Your anxiety is destructive to the therapy"

i was at wal-mart earlier...and i thought i saw my evil stepmother! i just about completely freaked...i ran away.

im not sure i will tell T.