struggling with analysis

i was sexually abused by my father everyday every moment he could
although i can only remember from age 5 analysis by psychologists of drawings and poems done at age 5 indicate that it must have been going on longer
im struggling to hear that more of my childhood my innocence my life has been taken away by this monster
i guess i was in denial surely i couldnt have thought writing a poem about being dead was normal

i will never forgive him
or my mother
grandmother
sisters
and brothers

everyday i dissociate
everyday i think of death
everyday i struggle with everyday

I hear you....i have been there as well. we are here for you. Dont leave. Dont ever think you cant say what you need to, to get it off your chest. this is a lifetime of flashbacks, of feelings of despair. but we can work through it with you. And try to make you feel better.

I hope you are doing better now. PM me anytime you need a friend. I am always online.

Best,
Colleen ((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
elsqueelio said:
im struggling to hear that more of my childhood my innocence my life has been taken away by this monster

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Not taken away permanently. You are still here. Much that is better than you imagine is still possible.