[snow123]

I don't feel my psychologist understands what I am going through and I am constantly asked what is it I want to fix.

I have told some things about my past that has been difficult and it hurts. Then I am asked how does it affect me and why does it matter. Obviously, it has impacted me adversely for me to be where I am. Maybe I am not in touch with my feelings enough..? If I let my feelings out, i feel I will be rejected and invalidated.

i am testing this psychologist, i don't find she understands my past so I feel as though if I told her anything happening currently she may not understand or be judgemental and critical of me.

I feel pressured to present a specific problem and how can I do this when I don't feel a connection nor trust.

trust and disclosure

[chaotic13]

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snow123 said:
I am asked how does it affect me and why does it matter. Obviously, it has impacted me adversely for me to be where I am.

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A while back I had a similar response in a session. I had just disclosed in a previous session some childhood sexual abuse that had obviously adversely affected me. The next session while talk around this experience, my T asked... 'So, do you think you had a normal sexual development?' Inside I was like WFT and my head just started to spin thoughts like 'Is she confusing me with some other patient?' I think in the session I simply stated that my physiological development has always been within the normal range and move on to another topic.

I'm not sure of the quality of your T, but you might want to hang in there a little while longer and see if there is eventually a point to these questions. I think sometimes we are so good at avoiding topics, that they run out of way to initiate certain conversations.

When it seems like my T appears to be asking dumb or strange questions, I start asking myself... am I being a willing participant in the discussion today? I my case the answer is usually NO.

[ECHOES]

Do you know what kind of therapy is the psychologist is doing? Is it what you want?

Prior to the T I have now, I saw a very nice psychologist who I liked well enough, and who did guided imagery and then admitted off-handedly that she does hypnotherapy; but I wanted to talk in my therapy, be heard, understood, really listened to. That wasn't how she worked, but I didn't realize it until I saw her a couple of months. She wanted me to come with a "topic" and we'd work on that. After several months of not talking much, just doing the relaxation exercises, I realized we weren't going to work well together.

I researched therapies and found the T I have now, who is a psychoanalytic/psychodynamic therapist and the session talking about whatever comes to mind at that moment. The goal is to simply feel better (from anxiety and depression). It's the pace I chose and she is just the greatest listener and supporter.

Perhaps you can talk more to your psychologist about how you're feeling about your sessions.

If your T is a CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy), then she probably wants to get a problem and fix it and most don't care about the past and how it affects you. They tend to focus in the "here and now" and work on improving skills and changing thought patterns.

The type of therapy where you discuss your past affecting you in the present is some form of psychodynamic therapy ~ could be under the disguise of Object Relations, Schema Therapy, etc.

Ask her.