Father's Day bothered me when I was a kid. In fourth grade I remember everyone making Father's Day cards in school. Someone asked me "What are you getting your dad for Father's Day?"

I never knew how to answer. I couldn't bring myself to say he was dead because my family talked about death in whispers, as if it was something to be ashamed of.

So I just said "I don't have a father."

I'd play along and make a card for my grandfather but I never gave it to him. He wasn't well-liked in my house. He was mean to his daughter, my newly widowed mother.

[Kiya]

((((((((((((((((((((((Orange Blossom)))))))))))))))))
thanks for posting!

I barely had a relationship with my father. Saw him 2 times in my life. He just passed away in March suddenly from an OD. I dunno how I feel about it. But every since I was little I called my uncle who has been like a real dad to me and told him happy father's day. I wrote him a poem when I was 12 and he STILL has it framed on his bedroom wall.

[dalila]

<font color="green">Father's Day has its difficulties for me too. My beloved father has been dead more than 30 years now and my 'dear' stepfather molested me.

My therapist told me that I don't have to send them cards for these special days -- and for the last couple of years I haven't. However I like to send cards, and I am forgiving them and cards are an easy way to stay in contact with them. So I have decided to go back to sending cards - I may have to make my own cards as I CANNOT send one of those soppy Hallmark cards! That would be like lying and I refuse to lie any more. They hurt me - they were not good parents. Mother is in therapy herself and has only recently admitted that she did things that were abusive to us. She still sees herself as a great mother. But I do love her and I am trying to focus on the good stuff and let the bad things go.

My therapist had a poster that said you can't make a new yesterday but you can make a better today.</font>

[Kiya]

Well, the day is upon us.
my dad's mom finally called my mom and asked if i would be sending him anything.
in my opinion, celebrating father's day is for those men who are actually *good* people and parents. just because he was the Sp*rm donor doesn't quailify him.
His mom told my mom that this "rift" between us is only a misunderstanding, miscommunication.
she has no idea - well, she should - she was THERE. but she'll always protect the abusive *%&$^.
If I did send a card it would go something like this:
Dear _______,
I am writing yo because I have to - because our society mandates it. But what I would really tell you is that you are so messed up, so loco in the cabasa, that I cannot have any contact with you any further. I know you think I am a bad person for this, and further more that you think you are the Father of all Fathers. But that is so far from the truth.
No "good" father would ever violate his daughter's boundaries. No good person would ever bring inc*st on their kids. Or harm kids in any way. Quite frankly, you deserve this - to have me never talk to you again. You deserve to be in jail for the rest of your life for the 12 years of sex abuse and 28 years of emotional and physical abuse that you caused me as well as my mom and your own mom. I can't believe you can still think of your self as a good person, after all you have done.

i can't continue this.

[splitimage]

My dad passed away 17 years ago, and this is the first time father's day is bringing up memories good and bad about him. I guess it's because I've been talking a lot about him in therapy as well as having finailly dealt with my own alocohol problem it's easier to understand him and his drinking. I am glad that I got to see him and tell him that I loved him shortly before he died.

[Liberada]

I'm searching through the fday e-cards. I'll find a humorous one. That usually works. He gets his recognition and I don't have to be emotionally connected.

[chaotic13]

I feel really crappy because I was just looking for a good father's day card for my H. I had a really tough time selecting one. He as some good traits BUT.... loving support...always there. ...unconditional love...and my favorite of the day the more I see you in a fathering role, the more I love you.... just didn't seem to fit.

We spent part of the day watching our oldest play in a soccer tournament. My H *****ed, complained, can sat with a scow on his face the whole day. I'm sure my son appreciated his decision to attend, I know I enjoyed it. :-|

[Kiya]

Remember - this whole holiday is only a money maker for card sales and gifts. that is why it was created.

[gimmeice]

This father's day is the ninth anniversary of my father passing and will mark the first father's day without my stepdad, who was like a second dad to me, but he suddenly passed a way last september. ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
To everyone struggling with this father's day.

[mick07]

I feel nauseous thinking about it. I'm trying to keep as busy as possible