I'm in the middle of therapy ... well, some may say i just started really, i love my t, she is so good and knows exactly where i am coming from. Iamworried. Iknow i have to gothrough a lot more before i'm done, i cant go back, i wantto go forward, but i don't know if i was ever prepared for what is happening. For a start, i never knew i go through co consciousness ... not an alter exactly, but needing my inner child/teens to speak out. The way i have been over the last few days scares me. It's like iam this thing posessed.... angry, hurt, remembering,dreams, flashbacks which i've always had. The thing is,she is explaining to me why i behave in this way. It is very overwhelming to me. Even smells,music, people trigger me ...i saw a man who was the doule of my abuser in Brighton the other day ... my heart hit the floor with my stomach in tow!!!!!! It really knocked me for six. I know i can get through it, but my actions just scare me .... and i am scared that my family wont understand, sometimes i know my hubby gets frustrated because he cant help .... i am far more paranoid than before .... everyone seems out to get me, but rationally i know its me ..... does anyone relate to all this?

I've always been insecure, low self esteem etc, but everything seems heightened .... it is normal isn't it?

Jinny xx

[Kiya]

i get it. I've got your back - if that helps. Thinking positive things for you. kiya

(((((((((((((((Kiya)))))))))))))))

thankyou so much. i know what i am asking is probably a dumb question, it'sjust i need so much reassurance i spose... some of these emotions are scary to me....i appreciate your reply Jin xoxoxoxxoox

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((((((((( jinnyann )))))))))))))))

[chaotic13]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
jinnyann said:
....angry, hurt, remembering,dreams, flashbacks which i've always had. .....overwhelming to me. .....Even smells,music, people trigger me .

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I don't know about co-consciousness but I was here earlier this year. All I can say at this point is that these symptoms have slowly lessoned somewhat over the last few months.

(((((((((((((((((((((( jinnyann ))))))))))))))))))))))) I've been there. In fact, I AM there. I just hold on to the hope that this is indeed the path to healing...that the only way out is through, and this is the work I need to do.

Sure doesn't make it any easier though, huh?

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))

[rdoc]

hi, it,s ok to feel worried, because you going get better copeing still, we can function in styems.
you much count the good time with your hubby,you take your blessing with an open mine. it,s hard to trust. i know but you much and have to deal with people, i am scare all the time and i run because i am alone and i can. when i can,t run that when my mine starts raceing,
but i leanrn to cope with being uncomfortable and most of the time
the people go away just when i need them to or i go away, so worried is part of trying everyday to get threw the day, you got psychcentral 24 your a day what a blessing.
rdoc

yes, i do have pc ..... thankyou all so much, again you have helped calm me a little before therapy later on ..... i owe you all so much. I know i have to go thru this, just like many others who need to heal. Sometimes I just feel so guilty for my family, tho they are so understanding most of the time. Obviously if i am really bad i will take myself out, or they will go out. we are lucky we have a councellor for them to talk to also .... for when they are struggling.

Thankyou so much. Words cant say how you help me so often.

Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

((( jinnyann )))

As long as you keep moving towards healing this intensity won't always be there.

Sure, you'll still have all those feelings, but with T etc. you will see they will start to lessen and not pack such a wallop.

Picture yourself on a high wire crossing the Grand Canyon. You've made it to the middle but are now more frightened than ever. What to do? Give up and go back? Push forward, knowing once you reach the other side, your life will begin to change?

Maybe you need to sit down right where you are. Rest. Breathe.

Whatever journey you choos jinnyann, I'll be here listening and offerring my hand.

[Mouse_]

Yeah it does get scary, but as T always says, if its happening then your ready for it.. Good luck.

(((((((((((((((((Mouse))))))))))))))))))))

thankyou, Jinny xoxoxoxoxo

[missboots]

I am exactly where you are at. I do not want to work on this. I want it to just go away.

(((((((((((((missboots)))))))))))

well, i am here, strength in numbers and all that, if you need to talk, please holler love, care and strength to you, Jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo

[MissCharlotte]

((Jinny)),

Stay the course. One foot in front of the other and know you are not alone. There is light up ahead. You are healing!