[Brian37]

so everyone tells me to find a male therapist so I can avoid the transference issues....heres what Ive found so far

Male Therapist A: is not accepting any new clients

Male Therapist B: does not accept my insurance

Male Therapist C: accepts my insurance....only sees clients every
2 weeks and will not offer therapy after 6 months
unless psychiatrist signs off on it.......putting him
on hold for now
Male Therapist D: does not accept my insurance

Male Therapist E: no evening appoinments - sorry dude cant do
day therapy

Male Therapist F: filled out forms and returned them to him
he called and referred me to Therapist C

((((((((((((((((Brian))))))))))))))))

my heart goes out to you, same prob here ..... lucky enough to find emale therapist in the end, not thru NHS .... there are just not enough to go around these days ..... i wish you luck, never give up trying .... hugs, Jinnyann xx

[splitimage]

(((Brian))))

Sorry that you're running into such a tough time finding someone. I hope that you do, and that they turn out to be really good.

---splitimage

who told you that having a male therapist avoids transference issues? cuz it ain't true

[Brian37]

I dont think im going to be "sexually attracted" to a male therapist

theres only one alpha male...............and its ME!

Brian,
My T doesn't take my insurance either, so I pay her, then submit a claim and insurance refunds me 80% because she's out of network. Have you looked into that? Don't give up.

[MissCharlotte]

Brian,

Therapist C sounds problematic before starting.

I do not believe that finding a male therapist equals no transference issues. Maybe you need a therapist who is able to help you manage the transference better? Maybe the last T didn't have enough confidence or training in that arena. Keep trying and don't give up on all female T's. But when you are interviewing, tell them the issue and see if it is problematic for them. Just keep everything out in the open.

Ps Sometimes we have to pay out of pocket for things we really need.

(((((Brian)))))

[sunrise]

I think it is good to give a male a try, so keep looking! I know it is easy to get discouraged... Even without the transference issues, I think sometimes males respect other males more, and a male practitioner won't allow the male patient to get away with c**p. This was the case for my H when we went to couples counseling. It was very helpful that the therapist was a male, since he wouldn't put up with nonsense from my H. He was able to call him on his behavior and get him to take the counseling seriously. That may not apply to you at all, Brian, but it was an issue for my H--he just didn't respect females as much.

I don't like the sounds of Therapist C. I wouldn't go to him. How can he know that he can help a client in sessions every 2 weeks that go on for less than 6 months? It seems like he is pre-judging his clients or thinking very highly of himself (master at "fixing" people).

I pay 100% out of pocket for my therapist. He's worth it. My daughter's T is out of network but my insurance will reimburse for 60% (however we don't file, as she is a minor, and we want to protect her). Will your insurance reimburse at all for out-of-plan providers?

Do you have the names of any more male T's to contact?

Do you have a referral from your doctor? Maybe your doctor knows a good male therapist and can refer you. He could call in advance of you, and recommend you to the T. Sometimes calling on personal favors like this can open doors.

Good luck!

[ECHOES]

Brian, You're doing a good detailed search! You haven't found one that will work yet, but keep going

Often insurance companies only cover certain types of therapy and therapists. To get what you want you could find someone you could pay on your own; leaving the insurance company out of the process can be very relieving, empowering, and it opens up more therapists from which to choose.

I found my therapist by contacting a psychoanalytic institiute in a large city near me and asking for someone in my community. That worked well for me, so maybe it's something you might consider doing. Here's a link to a site that helped me psychoanalytic training institutes . My therapist has been a therapist for 20 years and is currently a candidate (student) at the institute. She's great and I'm so glad I found her.

Keep going Brian! I admire all the work you're putting into your search. It can be discouraging at times, but that will all fall away when you get throught the search process and find someone.

[Perna]

And male therapist "G"?

Sorry it's so complicated and you're getting a bit of the run around. Hope you find someone soon who is convenient and takes your insurance. You can't do a shave off work in an afternoon and make it up by working through lunch or coming in early or something?

How about a "motherly", older woman therapist or something?

I don't know how hard they are to find but I did well in a group for 10 years with both a male and a female "partner" therapists (they weren't married to each other, had their own families but worked well together and had for years). I really liked having the whole both sexes/parent thing situation.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Brian ))))))))))))))

[lauren_helene]

Good lord Brian I'm sorry you are running into such trouble! Why did the one therapist refer to therapist C? That would irk me since he has never met you.

You probably don't want that one anyway...

Ugh! Sorry you're having such a hard time.

I agree that it might be worth it to pay out of pocket, if you can find the right guy...

Good luck. You'll find him.

Personally... and this is "justme"... an alter of freewill..

I wouldn't give up on a female T... either... t

to me... the skill set... is most important

a female T... with a very good skill set... could help you manage the transference thing...

have had male.. and female T's.. and to me.. it is the skill set...

also.. I would not... choose a T... that you are going to do "couples conseling" with... try to find one that does individual therapy.. only...

my therapist... and I have discussed.. the issue of couples counseling.. in detail.... he said.. that it helps with the "DID therapy".... because of all the personalities..

But... it is very different he said... that a therapist that does individual only....

And... I tried.. years ago.. the "couples"... and then individual therapy.. with the T... and it.. wasn't a good thing..

Just my input... for what it is worth...

[Brian37]

not giving up on a female either...in fact I got a good referral on a female therapist today......and she accepts Anthem insurance

[Brian37]

as far as paying out of pocket.....I already pay 683.00$ a month for our family health plan...

so unless I can find another income source I cant fork out any more cash