 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
#1
Jul 05, 2008, 07:23 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Hmm.. this keeps playing over in my head.. over and over again.
When I saw T this past week, as we were talking I reached up and put my hair over the back of the chair (I do this.. I was warm and feeling frustrated). Ok.. the session goes on and he stops me and asks that I pull my hair back again. I do it reluctantly (I like hair all around my face). He comments that I would look better with a short haircut  !!! I said "what's wrong with long hair"! Of course he said "nothing" but shorter hair would look better.Um.. me and my hair.. we're very attached. Without my hair, I wouldn't have a personality at all! Ok, so it's not the best hair... I know I look horrible, but hey, I'd look like a man without this hair! I've never had someone suggest something so personal... and even if they had I must have taken it with a grain of salt.. blown it off, but how can ya blow off the T! He's "in your face" right there.. looking at ya... basically telling me my hair is horrible! EGADS! OH man, my self esteem is in the GUTTER as it is. Now I'm kind of feeling funny about going back with the same big, fluffy, curly long hair. I'm also feeling funny about tying it up in a pony tail because I kind of want to REBEL deliberately (this is childish.. I know). Dumb.................. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr |
|
#2
Jul 05, 2008, 08:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm sorry he hurt your feelings.
Your personal appearance should be something you are comfortable with. Would you be happier with shorter hair? You don't have to get it buzzed obviously but maybe a good trimming would help your self-esteem instead of hurt it?
__________________
Chris The great blessing of mankind are within us and within our reach; but we shut our eyes, and like people in the dark, we fall foul upon the very thing we search for, without finding it. Seneca (7 B.C. - 65 A.A.) |
|
#3
Jul 05, 2008, 08:18 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
IMO Your T was out of line by suggesting you follow one of HIS personal preferences.
 
__________________
|
|
#4
Jul 05, 2008, 08:28 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
yeah - you gotta do what is good for you!
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#5
Jul 05, 2008, 08:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
No.. feelings aren't hurt.. I just don't like being "looked" at.
and.. No.. I don't want to cut it. I'd get extensions if I thought I could get away with it... |
|
#6
Jul 05, 2008, 08:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I don't know how to take it. Is that HIS preference, or was he just trying to make a helpful suggestion? But why... what's my hair got to do with anything...
Now I'm going to obsess over this? Grrrrrrrrrr He says I don't need to hold onto my "bad ***" attitude anymore. Ok.. but is my hair part of that? pfffffffffffffffft |
|
#7
Jul 05, 2008, 09:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Your life - your hair. I don't imagine there's too much therapeutic significance to what length your hair is, and frankly I'd find it a bit unprofessional if my T ever commented on my appearance.
But that's just me. --splitimage
__________________
 "I danced in the morning when the world was begun. I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun". From my favourite hymn. "If you see the wonder in a fairy tale, you can take the future even if you fail." Abba 
|
|
#8
Jul 05, 2008, 09:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Ltr2Hermione said: big, fluffy, curly long hair </div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I think your hair sounds fabulous! 
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
|
#9
Jul 05, 2008, 09:59 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I don't think saying you'd look good with short hair equates to your hair doesn't look good. I think it just was an in-the-moment thing where he saw you with your hair pulled back and had the thought that your hair would *also* look good short.
I wonder too if he was thinking that perhaps you 'hide' behind your hair? |
|
#10
Jul 05, 2008, 10:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I think your therapist was out of line also.
|
|
#11
Jul 05, 2008, 10:17 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
it seems to me that your personal desire is what matters. Like it long? Keep it long? feel free to do as you please with this. I think the T was a bit out of line.
|
|
#12
Jul 05, 2008, 10:28 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I'm not exactly clear on this-- did he actually say that you should cut your hair? You wrote that he said that you would look better with a short haircut. Did he actually say "better?" Or did he say you would look "nice" with short hair? I ask because while I don't think there is anything wrong with a T commenting on your appearance in certain instances, I do think it is inappropriate for him to say that you would look "better" than you do now if you altered your appearance in some way.
|
|
#13
Jul 05, 2008, 10:33 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Oh, and I love your name! A Bowie reference!!!
|
|
#14
Jul 06, 2008, 10:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Gosh! I think I've heard it all now! Is your T starting a modelling agency or something?
__________________
 Pegasus Got a quick question related to mental health or a treatment? Ask it here General Q&A Forum “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein |
|
#15
Jul 06, 2008, 11:06 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Trust me.. if he was.. there would be NO WAY I'd be invited into THAT club!!! LOL
|
|
#16
Jul 06, 2008, 11:20 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said: I'm not exactly clear on this-- did he actually say that you should cut your hair? You wrote that he said that you would look better with a short haircut. Did he actually say "better?" Or did he say you would look "nice" with short hair? I ask because while I don't think there is anything wrong with a T commenting on your appearance in certain instances, I do think it is inappropriate for him to say that you would look "better" than you do now if you altered your appearance in some way. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm trying with all of my mind to think of exactly what he said. I guess it caught me off guard. He asked me to pull my hair back again.. and I did.. and he said something about how much different I look. He asked me to do it again.. and I got funny about it... definitely felt uncomfortabe.. but I did it. He said something about either cutting it or keeping it up or back. All I could think was "what's wrong with me NOW"... Maybe my hair is age inappropriate and he was trying to tell me that? (but he didn't say that) (I'm 45) It doesn't feel good being in the "cheap seats" ... sitting across from a professional knowing how I screwed up my own life as it is. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr more frustration. PS.. thanks for noticing the Bowie. I adore Bowie. |
|
#17
Jul 06, 2008, 11:25 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Perhaps you should tell your T that you've been worried about his health and maybe he should lose a few pounds....
 or that you've been concerned about his rapidly receding hair line....is he OK? maybe vitamins would help? 
|
|
#18
Jul 06, 2008, 12:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
hahhaha... really.. I don't know him well enough to make such observations.. lol cute though.. real cute!
|
|
#19
Jul 06, 2008, 01:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Might be fun to go in wearing a bald cap--one of those things that makes a person look bald.
hehe 
|
|
#20
Jul 06, 2008, 01:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
> He says I don't need to hold onto my "bad ***" attitude anymore.
Well, may be. But that is up to you. When/if the time comes.
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
|
#21
Jul 07, 2008, 04:06 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Slippers said: Perhaps you should tell your T that you've been worried about his health and maybe he should lose a few pounds.... or that you've been concerned about his rapidly receding hair line....is he OK? maybe vitamins would help? </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> LOL. Right on.
__________________
--SIMCHA |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| I'd like to see someone, but my mom thinks not. | Psychotherapy | |||
| Doc thinks i have ADD? | Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD/ADHD) | |||
| so...everyone else thinks so.... | Post-traumatic Stress | |||
| He thinks.... | Psychotherapy | |||
| who thinks :( | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
