[Christina86]

How can one feel both emotions at once?!

He so bloody UNDERSTANDING it makes me want to scream. I have no idea why, but I don't deal well with total acceptance of my "being".

Not so crazy about him saying that although I don't have a lot of problems, that 3 years of counselling isn't long and he could see me using counselling (productively) for much longer. I think that makes me sound like I've got a ton of issues... which I don't like as a thought because I've always seen myself as less deserving and needing of help. Argh. So I'm relenting. I will go to counselling on campus until I graduate. Then we'll see how many more issues I need to resolve... considering I might not graduate for 3-4 more years (doing another BA after I graduate from BA #1 in June!).

He also challenged me on some of my negative thinking which I don't exactly take kindly too... but ... overall, it was good.

Sigh. I he calls me "difficult" because he can't figure out if the ADs are working or not, because for the most part my depression is situationally affected - have a good day, feel on top of the world... have a crappy day, and boy oh boy... yeah, I'm down in the pits.

But it makes me feel like an enigma with him trying to figure me out.

Best. Comment. Ever. though - "I think you would make a great counsellor". Wow. I never expected anyone to say that. He actually said that! I have boundary problems, so I never thought it would be possible to become a counsellor because I'd probably spend all my time worrying about clients (already do that already with friends ) but he said that he honestly felt that with the training that is provided for that sort of thing - that I'd be a good therapist! YAY! Wow. Someone actually believes that I can do something like that... I never thought I could, although I want to.

I love him, he's fantastic. Funny and sarcastic, just like me so we get along great - but he's also positive and can get me to see reason, which isn't an easy feat for most people.

I wish I could do therapy with him, he knows more about me (obviously condensed) than some T's I've seen. I'm glad I get the hour to ramble incessantly about stuff and that he understands my weird quirks.

That makes me feel less crazy.

He said I've made positive changes (myself) in my life... and he feels that I've changed for the better, but he says he can't attribute it to anything he's ever said to me. But he's congratulating me on thinking ahead and doing positive stuff for me (for once).

Sigh. I don't want to ever ever ever leave my pdoc. (Attachment & dependency issues anyone?!)

Sigh. Sometimes I wonder if being a psychology student makes me more nuts because I analyze myself to death. Need to stop that. Pdoc agrees, but he says that makes me a very "interesting" client. Not sure how I feel about that...

[Slippers]

He sounds like a really understanding kinda guy. And I agree - you would make a good counselor!

Are you on only an AD, not a mood stabilizer? It sounds like you are saying mood swings are part of the problem? Is he saying you need to work on those via therapy - like maybe CBT/DBT type work?

S

[Christina86]

*feels dumb* What is a mood stabilizer? Yep, only on an AD.

He thinks my my mood swings are fairly normal, but that I'm too caught up in them and that's why if I have a bad day ... I realllly have a bad day.

I've been looking at CBT/DBT as being a option for me... need to do some more research though, since I'm not crazy about CBT.

[Simcha]

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Christina86 said:
*feels dumb* What is a mood stabilizer? Yep, only on an AD.

He thinks my my mood swings are fairly normal, but that I'm too caught up in them and that's why if I have a bad day ... I realllly have a bad day.

I've been looking at CBT/DBT as being a option for me... need to do some more research though, since I'm not crazy about CBT.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
<font color="#000088">I had this really cool response for you, but the screen timed out

In my experience, CBT is eclectic and has many subtypes and approaches. I've read about it, and when I read about it it seems like it's only one way, as if it's a "pure" form or something... it certainly isn't. I've also never had homework before, and the very concept of homework from therapy makes my skin crawl...
Most people can't be "cured" in 10-15 sessions...

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is for Borderline Personality Disorder only, or is it for other disorders now too?

Me personally... I don't do well when people try to tell me how to behave, think, feel, etc., but then again I don't have the intensity in emotional regulation that BPD patients do either...

Shrug. I don't know. I don't care about the labels anymore I say what the hell Christina... find someone you like who can help you and it doesn't matter what the orientation is.

</font>

[Christina86]

I hate homework in therapy. I wrote a long ranty post down in Clyde's Corner about that actually, lol. I guess it's important sometimes and relevant if you've got a lot to work on... I'll bite the bullet and do the homework that I was given at my last therapy appt... I think she (my T) reallllllllllly loves CBT. Then again, she's in the process of getting her certification ... so she's still going by what she's learnt in school (so I guess I won't complain).

DBT according to the site here is </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
What is DBT?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) treatment is a cognitive-behavioral approach that emphasizes the psychosocial aspects of treatment. The theory behind the approach is that some people are prone to react in a more intense and out-of-the-ordinary manner toward certain emotional situations, primarily those found in romantic, family and friend relationships. DBT theory suggests that some people’s arousal levels in such situations can increase far more quickly than the average person’s, attain a higher level of emotional stimulation, and take a significant amount of time to return to baseline arousal levels.

People who are sometimes diagnosed with borderline personality disorder experience extreme swings in their emotions, see the world in black-and-white shades, and seem to always be jumping from one crisis to another. Because few people understand such reactions — most of all their own family and a childhood that emphasized invalidation — they don’t have any methods for coping with these sudden, intense surges of emotion. DBT is a method for teaching skills that will help in this task.

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I also read it's good for people with mood problems (me) and some bad behaviours like self-injury (also me). I guess I've got some borderline personality characteristics... but not the diagnosis, because I'm not that great of a fit with it.

I have problems with emotional regulation ... then again, I have problems with feeling feelings too.

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find someone you like who can help you and it doesn't matter what the orientation is.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I like this. So true, I get caught up in some of the stuff/labels/orientations sometimes.

[Sannah]

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Christina86 said:
I don't deal well with total acceptance of my "being".

I've always seen myself as less deserving and needing of help. Argh. So I'm relenting.

He also challenged me on some of my negative thinking which I don't exactly take kindly too... but ... overall, it was good.

But it makes me feel like an enigma with him trying to figure me out.

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Hi Christina, you are lucky to have such a good Pdoc. Do you think that you might hate his positive comments about you because you don't believe them?

[Simcha]

If my T tried to give me homework, I'd probably be really po'd.

Personally...I don't like psychiatrists very much. I think yours is the exception to the rule, and it's great that you have him.

If he works together with your T, even better, and it can't get much better than having a T who you not only like, but is also HELPFUL.

I've met a lot of people who have therapists they like, but they don't help them.

[Christina86]

Holy crap.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Hi Christina, you are lucky to have such a good Pdoc. Do you think that you might hate his positive comments about you because you don't believe them?

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Uhhhhhhhhhh... yeah. Holy crap. Again. Yeah, that would make a lot of sense. I can't believe I didn't see that with him... I mean I've told other people I don't like compliments because of that reason... but it never crossed my mind in my relationship with him. Weird.

[Christina86]

I don't like homework from T, but I'm beginning to (sometimes) see how it's important. Only sometimes... if it doesn't sound like they're trying to get rid of me.

I love my psychiatrist. (teehee) Okay, not always... he grew a beard this one time and he looked HORRENDOUS ... I bit my tongue and didn't tell him, but I so should have. Thankfully he shaved it off. I didn't love him so much then... he reminded me of a not-so-nice person in my life. (Transference, anyone? Yeah...)

One of my previous T works with pdoc and since they're both in the same office, I go to a group they co-run together... it works out really well. Beyond that though... not so crazy about current T. But since I'm not seeing her for a month... maybe I won't go back to her in September.

[splitimage]

Christina,

A couple of years in therapy is not long. I've been in therapy for 9 years now (who knew I was this F'd up?) and it's still incredibly helpful. I've made incredible progress, but we're just now starting to tackle some really tough stuff that keeps me socially isolated.

I really liked what CBT I've done. Ond of the treatment centres I was in and the psych hospital I was in used it a lot. The psych hospital also used a bit of DBT but not as much. I still find myslef using CBT principles to help me sort out distorted thinking and emotions and find it helpfull. A 10-15 week course of CBT certainly won't fix anyone, but it does give you some pretty good tools that you can use in your life.

Glad you like your pdoc. I love mine, and am constantly terrified that she'll drop me.

As for homework from T - that would totally turn me off. I have some from my addictions Dr. that I'm supposed to do before I next see her, which I'm really resenting even though I know it will ultimately help me.

[Simcha]

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Christina86 said:
I don't like homework from T, but I'm beginning to (sometimes) see how it's important. Only sometimes... if it doesn't sound like they're trying to get rid of me.

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I'd be REALLY angry if my T gave me homework. I have enough going on. How do I know that my T is a good T? One of the ways is that he knows I don't need homework to make therapy successful for me.

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I love my psychiatrist. (teehee) Okay, not always... he grew a beard this one time and he looked HORRENDOUS ... I bit my tongue and didn't tell him, but I so should have. Thankfully he shaved it off. I didn't love him so much then... he reminded me of a not-so-nice person in my life. (Transference, anyone? Yeah...)

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The beard was a killer huh? How do people walk around with FUZZ all over anyways?
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One of my previous T works with pdoc and since they're both in the same office, I go to a group they co-run together... it works out really well. Beyond that though... not so crazy about current T. But since I'm not seeing her for a month... maybe I won't go back to her in September.

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How long have you been with current T?
I've had a therapist before who was nice enough, but didn't know what the hell she was doing. I've also had HORRIBLE T's in the past (many years ago). I've had some that I wouldn't give the time of day to (some of them I later found out were pdocs who did some type of "therapy" as they called it--shudder).

I really have to stop procrastinating here.
Ack!

[Merlin]

Is it homework to ask patient to test their irrational beliefs. I.e. I am going to be rejected if I ask Sarah to go to a movie.

Is it home work to ask a patient to write down what they felt about the previous session?

What is and isn't probably differs from person to person.

I know I find it very difficult to do the thought records of CBT and can never manage to, but I can and have written down what I want from therapy and I have done what you suggested, to some extent and learned that what I wanted to change about myself is my behavior which, as hard as it may be, is something I can do.

[Christina86]

I wish I could stick with a process like CBT, but I know I'm not much of a fan of change (who knew, even though I'm in therapy TO change!). I need to give it a shot, but I like the free counselling here at my school ... don't really want to pay a lot to see someone else!

I don't like homework. I have enough dumb homework for school that I procrastinate on. I'll do it if I see it's relevant and useful - but don't ASSIGN me stuff, negotiate with me instead. Otherwise I feel like the perpetual bad student.

[Christina86]

I'm not fond of this T. I think (sadly) she's officially been canned by me. Oh, and I found out she'd only be around from Sept-Dec anyways, and then GONE. Again, but for good. Gah. I hate having interns sometimes... I feel like a perpetual test dummy for therapists in training!

I hated the fuzz. He looked horrible. Absolutely. I couldn't tell him though... so tempted, but I kept my mouth shut. And I'd have had to explain who he looked like (similarities) ... and that would have been a discussion I DONT want to have with him. Like ever. (Abuse issues, that's all I'll say here)

Current T... uhhhh... 1.5 months. Seriously. Before that... 8 months with previous T. Actually, the longest period of (uninterrupted) time I've seen a T has been 8 months, period. It does murder for continuity purposes!

[Christina86]

*repeating to herself* Change is okay, change is okay...

I'm all for doing homework if I can actually put something into active practice. I don't really like analysis of behaviour unless I can do it instead of writing about it.

I do a lot of journalling, and I know I've got cognitive distortions and work to change them myself ... but it's the whole putting things onto paper that I don't like. I'd rather do an activity than an essay! (I've got a learning disability on top of everything, and writing sometimes REALLY frustrates me because I can't usually write what is on my mind... essays are BRUTAL for that reason)