[internettie]

I'm going to see a T on Tuesday. This is the interview meeting. What questions should I ask her? I've been diagnosed with DID, BPD, PTSD, etc. What do I need to ask in order to make the right decision?

[Mouse_]

Not sure, but I'd listen to your gut and see how you feel about her? Qulafications do not always a good therapist make.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

I agree with Mouse. Go with your gut. I would just keep the conversation casual and try to get a "feel" for: is this person some one you'll be able to work with?

I highly value education so don't get me wrong but here again I concur with Mouse. All the "alphabet" behind a persons name does not make the clinician. The education is important, but it's all about the relationship.

[internettie]

I have appointments with 2 therapists this week, one on Monday (the one I think I'll go with) and Tuesday with another in case the first one doesn't pan out. I'm going to see both of them so I can get an idea of differences.

I agree that how comfortable I feel with them will be the most important thing. I don't know if I should be concerned that the one I'm most interested in only has 3 years in practice.

I did ask them some questions when they called me to set up appointments:

*How many years in practice? (3+ yrs / 20+ yrs)

*Have you counseled many people with my diagnoses? (DID, BPD, PTSD) (yes)

*When was the last time you worked with someone with my diagnoses? (currently treating)

*I like structure - can we come with goals and assignments to keep me on track? (yes)

*Can I bring in art work, projects, photos, writing? (yes)

*Are you available outside of session? (yes)

*Do you have someone to cover for you when you are not available (vacation)? (yes for the first, not sure about the second - forgot to ask)

*Is your office a safe place to explore my feelings? (most definitely)

*Will we be using DBT skills? (yes)

*What's your fee? ($40 for 50 minutes / $75 for 90 minutes w/out insurance; they will both be on my insurance plan within a few months, then I'll have to pay 20% of the allowed amount)

Is there anything else I should ask them in the initial interview to get a good feel for them?

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Sounds like you covered all your bases; your questions were honest and straight to the point. Nice job. For me, I can't think of any other questions. I would need to get a "feel" for the person to see if we could work together.

Let us know how your appointments turn out and whom you choose.

Good Luck-Angel

[internettie]

I had a 2 hour appointment with a new T today. We talked. A lot. i felt so comfortable with her. I'm still going to go to see the other T tomorrow to make sure I'm making the right decision. I told T1 that I had an appointment with T2 tomorrow. She was cool with that. I like that she will take time with me. It's been hard to get into anything in just a 45 minute session with current (soon to be former) T.

This is the second T I've visited. I didn't like the first one at all. I felt like she was telling me what happened to me instead of letting me tell her. And she wasn't always right which was disturbing to me. I called her today and told her that I was going to pursue other options.

I also decided to stay with my current Pdoc. I called the one I was going to go with and canceled the appointment. I'd rather pay out of pocket and stay with the same Pdoc.

I'll give another update tomorrow after seeing the other T.

[imapatient]

I'm considering a return to therapy, hence finding a T, too.

Reading your explanation of your process made me think of having an on-line personals-type service for T's and potential patients. What you’ve described sounds like going on a blind-data.

Hope it works out well.

[internettie]

It's very similar to going on a blind date. I did find some info on yesterday's and today's T online with a picture and description of their philosophy. But nothing really does it but sitting with the person. Only then can you tell if you feel comfortable with someone. The rest of it is just good information.

Good luck on your return to therapy. I hope you have an easier time than I've had finding someone to work with.

Even after a nights sleep, I still have good feelings about the T I met yesterday. No red flags. It'll be interesting to see how my appointment this afternoon with yet another T works out. What if I like both of them?!? Yikes! Hadn't thought of that happening. lol

[internettie]

I actually did have some red flags go up about Monday's T visit. Her desk looked like ground zero. A complete disaster. My first thoughts when I went into her office were:

1. I don't think I can take this
2. chaos on the outside reflects chaos on the inside
3. way too distracting

I didn't like that she lost track of time and let our meeting go on for 2 hours. I didn't mind it while I was there until the end. Then I was screaming inside to be let out of the office (of course I didn't say anything to her).

I also didn't like that she would talk about an issue and tell me how she had the same kinds of problems herself. Whaaatttt?

So I decided to definitely go to see the 'therapist of the day'", Susan. I really didn't have any hope for it to work out. When I first saw her I was uneasy because she's tall and thin, very thin. And she talks so slow and soft. I got past the outside image and concentrated on what she was actually saying. I could be honest with her. I wasn't completely up front about things with the other therapists I saw but I felt like I could tell her about the real me.

I also liked that once she found out that I liked to do artwork, that she handed me some colored pencils and let me draw while we talked. That took away a lot of the stress and I was able to talk more freely.

She also gave me her direct line at work, her cell # and her email address. She said that I could call her before our appointment next week if I needed to.

We talked about using DBT skills again. She sent me home with a nice organized folder of the skills. Her office, by the way, was very organized, but still friendly and comfortable. I like that she has her ducks in a row. She also has a weekly DBT group. I could go to that if I wanted to.

I have 3 homework assignments from Susan:

1. work on my art by myself for at least 15 minutes (or whatever I can tolerate)
2. listen to music by myself for at least 15 minutes (or whatever I can tolerate)
3. plan on going to a matinée movie with a friend (I don't actually have to go this week, I just have to start planning it)

The reason I got these assignments is because I have a fear that my husband does not want me to do things without him (except work).

Again, no red flags have gone up, but I'll sleep on it over night and see what the morning brings.

Tomorrow I have my wrap up session with my current therapist. That should be fun (not!). I'm also going to have to call Monday's T and let her know that I won't be seeing her. I hate having to do that.

So, that's where things stand right now. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have Susan be my new therapist and I'll join the DBT group. I think this might work for me.

And the saga continues...

[imapatient]

Sounds like you hit it off pretty well with # 2. I'm not artistic at all, so her handing you the colored pencils thing seems at odd, but I can see how effective it was in connecting with you and putting you t ease. What a cool thing. I had no idea that random drawing like that could be a tress reliever for people who are into drawing. Maybe I should I find a T who’ll hand me a guitar in session. lol

If T1 went way beyond the time allotted, that's a major problem. And if you were hoping for it to end, well, that speaks for itself.

Susan sounds like a good "catch" so to speak, so far. A soft touch but not a pushover. I like her, too, for all you've said.

It is such an awkward situation and there are so many variables that you need to "click" on for it to work.

Hope it goes well. Look to hear more of your new adventure.

[itspeaks]

I am really glad you found a T you are comfortable with. That was my biggest problem. I didn't really like my therapist all that much and when I stopped seeing her I never found another one.

[internettie]

I did hit it off with Susan. I emailed her today, mostly for information but also to thank her and tell her that I'm looking forward to working with her. I wasn't expecting a response but I got one within an hour. She was very helpful and encouraging. She has a DBT group that I can go to tomorrow night.

I had my final visit with my now former T. He admitted that he was rushed and short with me last time in called when I was in crisis. He even told me he didn't think it was his issue because it involved another provider. I wasn't asking him to mediate. I was calling him because I was freaking out and didn't know what to do to calm the feelings. He told me to get a full time job.

Anyway, the wrap up really showed me that he is out of touch with me I must not have done a very good job of communicating with him. After 15 minutes he shook my hand, said goodbye and I was out the door. He did say I could drop him a note if I wanted to. Not sure right now what the point of that would be.

I felt like I ended it well, but I'm certainly disappointed that it ended the way it did.

Good news is that I have my new therapist and I really have high hopes for getting some healing done with her.

Thank to all of you for the encouragement during this process. I'm glad to be moving on.

[Angel_of_the_Past]

Glad to hear you had a positive out come with a new T; that's great! Sorry about your old T.

[internettie]

Thanks, Angel.

[emilyjeanne]

Looks like you made the correct decision to find a new T. It has been my experience that changing T's can be beneficial to your therapy. I myself changed T's a year ago and it has made all the difference. I wish you good luck with your new T.

[imapatient]

Sounds like a weird thing up with the old T, but Susan sounds very promising.

I went thru a DBT group--not with my own therapist. It was a very structured class-room style therapy scene, however that sounds to you.

Thinking of you and your new begininning today.