Put the stuff in a box?

Srsly?

Does that actually work for anyone?

I saw T on Monday. She walked me through the "incident" last week. Then she told me that she wants me to try to "box" my feelings and bad stuff so we can deal with coping mechanisms and stuff to deal with the OTHER past abuse issues! Seriously.

I think she's nuts. I cant shut off my brain and tell it to stop thinking about X,Y,Z... and I can't stuff all of my emotions, all the time. I'm always a step away from being triggered.

She wants me to "describe" this box next session.

Ahuh. Yeah, not boxing it.

I'm just ignoring it - not bottling or boxing.

So THERE T.

Sigh.

How about writing the stuff down in a notebook? Put the notebook in a box if you like. If you do try to put stuff in a box, remind yourself that it is temporary, and you are going to take the stuff out and process it, not leave it there to grow roots.

I think your T may be talking about 'compartmentalizing' your problem. Usually compartmentalizing isn't considered a positive thing... instead of coping with problems, people put them in compartments & lock the doors & eventually the clutter builds up to the point where the compartment just explodes.

Sometimes you have to put certain problems in storage so you can get on with your life. Then, when you have a quiet moment with nothing else pressing to take care of, you can go to your mental storeroom, take a box down and deal with whatever you stuck in there. Sometimes it's the best thing to do with things that happen that really, really piss you off. Instead of responding immediately, over-reacting and saying or doing something horrible, you can stick the issue in a box & see if it wilts once it's not exposed to direct sunlight.

If only the box was big enough, knowing that it needs to fit in your head. No it's not working for me either Christina. I have that many boxes I am overloaded. I am going to T to sort through the box's and see which one belongs where and its attaching emotions.

I do avoid naturally and it has become messy with this boxing stuff. Once it's boxed I have such a hard time getting it out or even finding it again(internal clutter storage).

Maybe there is another option or a health way of boxing I am unaware of. So maybe explore it more with T and see how it goes.

Good luck

T wants me to put my stuff in a box...a box that with a lid, so I can close it, but then pull it out later when I am ready to work on it. I hate it. It seems like such a cheezy T "technique" and although I've tried, it just doesn't work for me. I keep telling T it doesn't work, and he tells me it takes practice.

I DO have an actual physical BOX that I painted that sits on T's desk. I thought that would help me with the visualization, but it doesn't. Once I was sitting in T's office with something bouncing around in my head that I was NOT ready to talk about, and he had me write it down and put it in the box. Somehow THAT helped. Writing things down helps in general.

A visualization that HAS helped me is something that I read in a DBT notebook. When I am having overwhelming thoughts and feelings, I imagine them written in the sand, and then I imagine waves coming and gently washing them away. I don't know quite why I can connect with this and not the box, but it has helped sometimes. Of course, it would help even more if I would remember to DO IT.

You are so brave to be pulling this stuff out. Hang in there...

(((((((( Christina ))))))))

It is actually a very useful thing to be able to do especially for someone with multiple traumas.

Some people can shove stuff away and then unfortunately it can suddenly come gushing out when you least expect. What your T is trying to do is to get you to deal with stuff one at a time. It's a useful technique but it does take practice. I will say it doesn't have to be a box. It can be any safe place that only you can get to. I would think that your T would use visualization, so that you can make sure that this particular trauma stays where it is put until you are really ready to deal with it.

Works for me, I'm good at putting things into boxes. If I catch a bad feeling or some bad stuff coming up early enough, I can consciously put it into a box and save it for later. I do it by visualizing a huge cabinet with thousand of drawers and a hard disk in each of them. I imagine me saving the thing to a disk, then set a password, then lock the drawer and hide the key. I need several security measures to make sure the thing won’t just pop up back to my head. I don’t remember how I learned to do this, I feel like I’ve always known it. Of course there are problems: I tend to forget what is where, so sometimes I end up looking at something I didn’t expect to see; there are many things locked up in the cabinet and I sometimes forget about putting something aside, so it stays locked for a looooong time. And there is a problem related to time: if I miss the moment and start to feel the bad feelings or think about bad stuff, I can’t put it away. I can only do it before I start feeling or thinking.

((Christina))

Okay so seriously I used to (loooooong before I ever went to therapy) take certain memories or thoughts and put them in a box. I usually made it a gift box (mental imagery--not real) and then I tied it up tight with string or ribbon. THEN I put the box on the top shelf of my closet. When I was first seeing T I told him about this imagery and he said that we could open the boxes together. Believe it or not, it worked for me. I had to cope somehow. Sooooo, it's not as bad as it sounds, and it actually helped me.

it works for me, although mine is a large liquid storage container tank rather than a box. Whenever we process really heavy stuff in a session T asks me how much of the emotion I'm feeling can I handle feeling until our next session. Then anything excess get's put in the tank. I visualize my emotions flowing into the tank like a stream of liquid.

It's wierd, but it works really well for me. But then again, I'm really good at dissociation (too good - it's a problem) so shutting stuff off is just really natural for me.

--splitimage

My T used the box analogy to describe what I've done all of my life. In my therapy I think the objective is to stop being a pack-rat and get rid of some of the old crap.

When someone experiences trauma, the brain chemicals that allow for memories to be stored is disrupted some how. Normally, the brain does file a memory accurately. It takes it and puts it "on the shelf" (or in a folder, or a box) so that it's accessible, but not always intruding into our thoughts. A normally filed memory is one where it's there, we can go, take it down off the shelf, or take the box, dust it off, look it over and then put it back "away."

Just as you said, the thoughts are with you constantly, after a trauma. What your T wants you to do isn't crazy, but good therapy. No, you can't do this automatically. Yes, you have to retrain your brain as to what to do with those memories that weren't filed correctly, if at all. The good news is that once you show your brain what to do (by working with T to place them "someplace else") then all similar memories will be filed because the brain will match them up for you. (Meaning you won't have to go through all the elements of every trauma to get them out of your conscious thinking.)
No, you can't figure out just "how" to do this, but with guidance from T you will be able to do it. I have faith in you. I know how it feels to be where you are, at this juncture. Know that by putting them away for a bit in no way minimizes what they represent, or makes you any less of a person for not constantly remembering what you've been through.

The box idea sounds stupid but it worked for me. I have a small wooden box with a clasp and I would write it down and put it in the box and then bring it to therapy. When the thing popped up I would say no its in the box I can deal with it later. If it was just a bad feeling I had over and over I used beads or m&M's or gummy bears. Then I would talk about it later.

I like the idea of having an ACTUAL BOX (instead of a vision of one in my head). When I wrote something down and put it in my box at T's office, that felt a lot different than trying to conjure up a box in my head.

Some people have said that their problem is everything is in a box and they can't get it out...that's what I told T the first time he mentioned it to me. He said that this would be different. This is me choosing, carefully, to put something in the box, with a promise of bringing it out later to look at it and deal with it. Not Fort Knox, which is essentially where I've kept everything up until now!

I have a relaxation / guided imagery called "Clear the Deck" that's on a CD called Natural Tranquilizers that talks about putting your worries and concerns of the day into a sturdy box... with a lid... and a lock with a key that you can put in your pocket... and know that you can take these concerns out later any time you wish.

I don't know how putting it in a box would work in your situation, but this guided imagery works well to give a kind of burden-lifting relief, a reprieve from carrying the worries and concerns for a while.

I think I have a second job as a stock person because I put things in boxes all day long. I wouldn't be able to function if I didn't. I am a very visual person so I can imagine the act of compartmentalizing my feelings into these boxes. It is a coping mechanism that works for me because I end up revisiting the difficult feelings that are boxed away. I do not ignore them.

I also have a real box (my T called it a 'containment' box) where I can put the things I can't deal with on paper and close the lid on them until it's time to deal safely with them. I put a picture from a magazine on my box. The picture is of a bank vault door closing. That imagery really helps me to understand what the box is all about. The door is open just a crack so I can retrieve issues when it is safe. You might want to talk to your T about using a real box - it doesn't have to be very big, just big enough to hold a few slips of paper. I find that writing down the troubling thoughts to be helpful. I think your T is on to something here. Good luck.

wow what a GREAT idea!! I am going to share this with my sister! :-)