Need

What do people think about this?
I feel like I need therapy, need to see my therapist. I look forward to our appointments, even when I know they are going to be difficult. I get nervous and irritable if I'm late and I hate it when the hour ends, even if it’s a rough session.
But when I say need I fear I might mean it in a desperate way. Like a drug addict needs their fix. And I desperately don't want to stop therapy.
At the same time, I wonder if it makes any difference. I wonder if it helps. I wonder if I just forced myself, I could stop going and actually live to see other days.
I've been in therapy almost non-stop for 25 years. Maybe, for me, it's really not all that helpful anymore? OR maybe it is very helpful.
Maybe for me it’s a crutch. He is my only real live person that I talk to. I have no friends inrl.
And I am saying this for me. I think people, in general, who have mental illnesses or who have some life issues should be in therapy. These are just my personal doubts and hang ups about me, no one else.

I think we all have self doubts - can we handle this without therapy? are we relying on T too much? these are all good questions.

It sounds to me that you are gaining a benefit from therapy so its good that you are going - I think the time to stop would be when there was no benefit received from therapy - that is why I keep going anyway.

Lbien6, it would be good if you had friends IRl - they can help and support you as you can help and support them.

take care P7

i know (for me) staying in therapy has been most beneficial...i've been in therapy for 10+ years. i don't go as often as i did when i started cause there are not so many pressing issues for me anymore but often i use my therapist as a sounding board, a "reality check", etc. i believe that therapy has been a good working tool for me. sounds like you may feel the same way.
the only difference i see is that i am blessed with good friends in my life that i help and they help me too. i don't know if there's a dependancy on therapy, but if that's what i have, i'll stay with that plan. it has enabled me to become a far healthier individual than trying to wing it on my own. some of my "old tapes" can still show up when i least expect them...even if i thought i'd gotten rid of a few "tapes" already.
personally if a person has an effective therapist and it's a good match too for the client, i'd recommend it for everybody, norms too. it speeds up the growth process.
i hope i answered your question, jme, for what you are asking.

Lbien6,

Compared to you, I'm rather new at therapy. Yet, I have the same issues as you, including isolation and wondering if therapy is really helping. The fact that we keep going suggests we are getting something good from it. The question, then is whether we can get that on our own. Without social support, I think that is almost impossible... As least we are connecting with a real person in therapy. We will never know if we can go without it until we try, but isolation is a big problem, so it doesn't sound like the time for you.

Just thinking out loud....

Good thoughts Forever! Thanks.

As far as social isolation, I guess it's a benefit that I at least have one in real life person in my life.

As far as progress in my quest for personal growth, I don't know if therapy is helping or not.

I am certainly not getting better. In fact, I am getting worse. But, maybe I would deteriorate even worse if I was not in therapy.

If you feel you are not making progress,have you discussed this with your T? I have and it does help - it helps redefine what your goals are - otherwise i just tend to drift through therapy - dealing wiht things as they come up and no making progress or very little.

I had a long term therapist once.. who was my only crutch in life; my only contact outside of work.
I decided eventually that I was going to stop seeing her... and instead of spending my life waiting for the appointments with her, I was going to *live*.
And I did that.
Letting go of her was so hard.
But I lived.
And made new friends.
And filled the T gap with social contacts and new experiences and new relationships.

There were things I still needed to work out in therapy, and I have started seeing a different T now, after years of just 'getting on with life'.

I don't think I regret leaving the other T - overall. There are some regrets about it.
But I do think I made the right decision.

Taking away the 'crutch' and learning to live with out it was ultimately good for me, I think.

If I hadn't done it then I think I would probably still be there, living just to see my therapist two days a week.

I think you should keep seeing your therapist or maybe you could have a break for about a month or less and see how things are then

Lbien6
You haven't seen the SAME therapist for 25 years. That's a lack of continuity in treatment and discontinuity can have negative effects.
You should also consider that our knowledge of psychology was really not up to snuff; we are STILL in the dark ages, but making headway.

Why put blame on yourself for being "dependent" or what have you?
Remember... VARIABLE skill amongst providers from our pm? Same thing.
I don't believe in "Mental Illness". It is a myth. There are disordered thought processes (mental disorders).

Perhaps in your case the safety and validation and the help you receive from the good therapists you have had that helped you deal with a chronic problem is the reason it's not dependency. If you have chronic problems, then you should stay as long as is necessary for you to get well enough that you can reduce/eliminate the therapist (or Pdoc).

We all have different challenges in life. I know people pretend to be perfect specimans, but the reality is that no one is perfect, biologically or otherwise. The quantity of visits to a therapist or doctor has nothing to do with getting "well" or not.

Therapy doesn't seem to be a crutch with you from our conversations we've had in PM. The "no friends" issue can be dealt with, and is not related to therapy.

Hang in there.

I think it is partly up to your therapist to help you end therapy if you are going simply because you have become too dependent.

It took awhile for me to realize that I needed friends more than a therapist and I had to really focus on making friends and putting myself out there. I never would have been able to do that without my T. However, I could have stayed in weekly therapy until the end of time. For me, it was starting to feel too self-indulgent and it felt like I was taking advantage.

My T is always with me in my head so I don't need to see him as much. It is very comforting.