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#1
Apr 22, 2009, 09:40 PM
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Gestalt therapy is sooooo hard for me. Recognizing your feelings and speaking them without diluting them with thought is terrifying for me. I have been trying so hard....
...and then yesterday, I was dealing with SO much. TOO much on my plate...right before my group T session, my boss (a guy who has hated me for 9 years and JUST became my boss) pulled me into a meeting with the HR guy present to hand me my @@@ on a silver platter....And today is my 14th wedding anniversary with my husband....SOOOOO..... I said things that made me incredibly uncomfortable. Confronted someone because I felt as though they had no interest in what I have to say. When I got upset over my own situation, one member said he felt uncomfortable with seeing someone upset. I responded jokingly that he has more work to do....T asked me to rephrase it in a different way....and I refused. He said, "Try"...and I said, "I can't...actually, I won't"....I was just too uncomfortable with what I was saying and feeling...and I couldn't believe that at that one moment, I was actually defiant towards T. NEVER happened before. I believe it's part of the work. It's part of the discovery - the process.....But I was NOT liking it, not one bit. And here I am, sitting here wondering whether or not I made positive contributions by bringing REAL FEELINGS into the room, into the here and now, between members....OR, if I royally screwed up....UGH. I have my individual session with T tomorrow, and I certainly will ask him for some feedback....but there's only so much I can cover in 45 minutes and I have a LOT of things to address. Group T session....the latest with my husband (NOT good stuff)....and my boss (MORE NOT GOOD STUFF).... I hate feeling so overwhelmed by it all. I have it coming at me from every angle and I can't escape....I just want to crawl in a hole....
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail... 
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#2
Apr 23, 2009, 03:01 AM
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 I have nothing wise to say to be honest and i know nothing about gestalt therapy, but... If the goal of the therapy is to show your true feelings, then you did a wonderful job. The refusal to rephrase what you said sounds like showing your feelings too, you didn't want to and you didn't. You don't have to do everything what ppl tell you to do, it doesn't really matter if it's t or someone else. Maybe the rephrasing would have been beneficial, i don't know, but i don't see anything wrong that you confronted group t.
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 mixedup_emotions
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#3
Apr 23, 2009, 03:39 AM
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Mixed up,
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
| mixedup_emotions
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#4
Apr 23, 2009, 05:28 AM
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Sounds like you did what they asked you to - worth discussing with your T tomorrow - hope it goes well
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#5
Apr 23, 2009, 05:44 AM
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beads dont really know much about gestalt therapy either,
but it aounds like you were "real" to us too........ like they were your feelings at the time and you definitely expressed how you felt in no uncertain terms.......dont see no messing up in that! hope the stress in your life deflates soon, bead
__________________
...can.. .....will..... just.............see come visit my photo albums and see some pictures of mary's beadwork http://forums.psychcentral.com/album.php?albumid=305 Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them." ~ Hugh Miller |
| mixedup_emotions
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#6
Apr 23, 2009, 08:37 AM
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Good Worked MUE! Gestault had a lot to do with me getting better. It helps you to live in the moment (ouch, ouch and more ouch!), be in touch with your feelings (ouch, ouch, and more ouch!) and helps so much to making you self aware (ouch...).
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| mixedup_emotions
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#7
Apr 23, 2009, 09:20 AM
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It seems to me also that you did what was necessary for gestalt therapy: you expressed your true feelings. If you were never allowed to do that growing up, it probably will feel very uncomfortable to you for awhile. It gets easier!
There's nothing wrong with refusing to rephrase something if you don't want to. However, it's interesting that you mentioned this was the only time you've ever defiant toward your t. There may be some pieces of insight for you if you look more deeply at the interaction. What was behind the defiant feelings? What was it that enabled you to take a firm stance in this instance, when that is not your usual pattern of behavior? Was there something you hoped to accomplish by your refusal? Interesting stuff. . . |
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#8
Apr 24, 2009, 12:30 AM
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My T said that I was very courageous in group and that my work was "of paramount importance". WOW.....what a relief. But at the same time, I am sooooo uncomfortable with it. I'm going with the flow though - challenging myself to just DO IT....and learn the lessons along the way.
(sigh)
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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#9
Apr 24, 2009, 12:34 AM
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Quote:
About being defiant towards T....I haven't been in therapy for long, so perhaps it's just that the opportunity did not present itself until now. As far as what was behind the defiant feelings, at the time, I was so extremely uncomfortable with the comment I made that I wanted to shut down. T wanted me to say more, but I didn't want to. And I had this feeling of - I'm an adult and do NOT HAVE to do what someone tells me to do. It's a CHOICE I MAKE...and THIS is the choice I'm making. I said NO and I MEAN IT..... I guess I should have addressed that in my individual T today.....hmm.
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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#10
Apr 24, 2009, 02:51 AM
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Quote:
Thats really great ! not the uncomfortable bit!  that you did it and that T gave you some well earned praise
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#11
Apr 24, 2009, 03:59 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((mixedup emotions)))))))))))))))))
Awesome work! The uncomfortable part is part of the healing........... have you ever heard a saying that goes something like 'iff it is easy it is not worth doiing'? beads totally beleives that this is offen true because its the hard stuff we experience and work at improving that makes us stronger.  beads
__________________
...can.. .....will..... just.............see come visit my photo albums and see some pictures of mary's beadwork http://forums.psychcentral.com/album.php?albumid=305 Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them." ~ Hugh Miller |
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#12
Apr 24, 2009, 06:18 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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#13
Apr 24, 2009, 08:27 AM
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yessssssssssssssssssss,
and the climb to the top is definitely wotrth the effort to get to the beauty on the other side!!!!!!!!!!! keep putting one foot in front of the other, not mater how smlall the steps may seem, remember that each step is a step in the right direction! ( even when we make mistakes and\or fall, it is still a learning and strengthening expericne and will get u closer to the top of the mountain) keep hanging tuff! you r strong and u can do this! hugs, beads
__________________
...can.. .....will..... just.............see come visit my photo albums and see some pictures of mary's beadwork http://forums.psychcentral.com/album.php?albumid=305 Problems are only opportunities with thorns on them." ~ Hugh Miller |
| mixedup_emotions
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