Emotional Flooding

XTree,
I know what you mean about feeling bombarded. It's hard to express something when there is so much noise in your head. Not knowing where to start and then the fear of being totally open. That could represent many things to many people, could be you don't want to cry, don't want to show anger, don't want to scare your T off, don't know if your T can handle it, ect...

One time my T looked at me and said, are you sitting there with a million things running through your head? I said yes I am, she said how about you pick just one of those things, it can be something light or something very heavy and share it with me. So I did and it was ok.

Yet, I do often times feel that writing something and sharing it with her is so much easier. Sometimes I will write it and keep it in my purse. Last week, I told her that I written something and she asked if I wanted to share it, I said I'm not sure. She said since you wrote it, how about you take it out and set it on your lap and if you get the courage at some point in tonights session, then you can share it with me. I did finally give it to her and had her read it to herself because I couldn't read it, and it was very helpful.
One session at a time.

One problem for me is turning in long enough to select one thing. I remember telling my T once that in my head it was like a radio set to scan with 100 channels. The moment I recognized what was playing the channel would switch.

This is not the secret for me at all. I controlled my emotions very, very well and stuffed everything inside. I had to learn to let out the emotions instead of controlling and hiding them. It took me forever to even get started on being able to do this. It was very slow. I had this fear that if anyone saw me sad or crying, they would think I was weak and take advantage of me and stomp on me and make fun of me and humiliate me. So that made me keep it all inside with an iron fist. I feel a vast sense of relief now that I have learned to loosen up and feel things as they are happening and not be ashamed that others might see me. Now it seems so obvious--why should I care if someone sees me cry? But it did not seem obvious at all earlier. And a huge benefit I have found is that it took so much emotional energy to keep everything inside, and I didn't even realize that. Once I gave that up, I had so much energy for other things in my life! Positive things. It feels really great.

That is something to ask your therapist and she will have ideas on how to do this. It is a big task, but it so worth doing! Good luck.

Good question! I guess showing vulnerability is an issue, but shouldn't be. I would not mind doing it but when I get "flooded" I cannot think, that is the important part to start with.

From what I have learned so far in this thread is to understand them after it happen, what causes it and from there I guess figuring out how to think while it is happening. Wow, I cured! LOL!

Xtree