Who pays for the dates? men or woman?

so what do you think?

my oppinion is that both should pay 50/50. hear me out though... if a girl is a "girly girl", doesn't have a job, but treats her man "like a king" i wouldn't mind paying for the dates and taking care of her. i'm old fashioned like that.

however, if the girl is a strong girl, has a job, believes in equal rights, i would say that she forks up 1/2 for dinner and everything else.

why should a guy pay for a womans company? if i want to pay for that, i'll hire a professional.

I agree. The way you put it is exactly what i was thinking but wouldn't have been able to say so perfectly. In those conditions i would have to vote share the bill! >JL

On a first date - whoever does the asking pays. You are asking to take her to dinner...then take her. After that, it's all negotiable. Two adults ought to TALK about stuff. If she is a lawyer and he is pumping gas, well....of course she oughta pay more. If incomes are similar, there is no reason to not take turns paying.

Talking this out is part of the relationship building. Talking is much better than letting resentment build, and having the whole thing end prematurely when it could have been solved by a simple discussion. Having the man continually pay is unfair and unhealthy for women. It's taking advantage of an old social custom, AND makes women appear dependent. We aren't.

em

i have to say this....why is it okay to pay for a "girlie girl" who treats her man like a king and not pay for a strong and independent woman????? what do you mean in "treats her man like a king"? i'm sorry but this is very off-putting to me.

A girly girl is more traditional, while a strong independent woman is less likely to allow someone to pay her way. That's my take on it anyway, not that I've done any dating in the last couple decades

the reason why i would have no problem paying for a "girly girl" is because that's a type of woman a lot of men are attracted to. they are attracted to the naieve, helpless girl, that needs a guy to take care of her. if that's the case, i wouldn't have a problem paying for her. basically, that type of girl doesnt have a job and can't hold down a job so i won't mind paying for her.

of on the other hand, if the girl has a job, why should i pay for the dates and everything while you bank away all your paychecks and i go broke paying for your company? no thanks.

Half N Half sounds good that way the guy can't say you owe them anything in return
Would be nice to see the old days come back but progress has come
Angie

I like to pay for everything. Call me old fashioned, but the first couple dates, I'm paying. I'll always make sure to let the young lady know that I appreciate her offer (if she makes one) to pay for her half. After a couple dates, I'll let her pay for one... or for her half. Just my way.

ryan

Ohhhhh Ryan when is our date you are an old fashion guy and IIIIIIII love that in a guy
Angie
PS
Ohhhh wait I'm married you can take Reah out she's single hehehe

Stew, I think you are saying that you PREFER to date "girly girls" who will depend on you to pay. I interpreting that correctly?

Em

It doesn't really matter who pays...what does matter is communication....If YOU asked for the date, I think it's proper to pay....but if you have a question about the matter, ask BEFORE the date if they are comfortable going dutch...that will save alot of awkwardness....grace

Very true Grace. I have a habit of assuming that I'm paying so the dutch thing never comes up. You make a very good point about the communication thing too.

Ry

PS... Reah, how bout Saturday night? Pick ya up at 7

You guy's are all wrong the woman should always pay for everything, just to get in the habit from the start!

LOL~Down

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i do prefer to date girly girls.

as far as me paying, i get to know them a little bit first and i'm always upfront about everything. if the girl holds down a job and everything, i'm upfront and tell her that i'm not paying for her. i'm not a **** about it but i get the message across that i don't pay for anyone. if they think i should pay for them when we have equal paying jobs, i'll tell her to pay for me.

Stew, I very much like the fact that you're confident in your ways. Don't take that the wrong way. It's meant as a compliment.

ryan

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so what do you think?

my oppinion is that both should pay 50/50. hear me out though... if a girl is a "girly girl", doesn't have a job, but treats her man "like a king" i wouldn't mind paying for the dates and taking care of her. i'm old fashioned like that.

however, if the girl is a strong girl, has a job, believes in equal rights, i would say that she forks up 1/2 for dinner and everything else.

why should a guy pay for a womans company? if i want to pay for that, i'll hire a professional.

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You have very good points. However, I think the problem is much deeper than paying for things.

I didnt vote because I dont think it is that cut and dry.

I think that now-a-days it should be split, however, If the guy asked the girl out, he should pay. If he asked then it's up to him. Now if the girl asked, then she should pay. If your in a long term relationship but not yet married then I think that things should be split down the middle.
If your married, the guy should do and pay for everything. LOL

Just kidding!!!

Ok, so if your preference is for girly girls...who by your definition can't hold a job, why do you date women who work? If you date only girly girls, you get to pay every time, and date these great chicks, and maybe marry one too. Then you can support her FOREVER! YEAH!

Emmy...the wise *****

Stew,

I have to totally disagree with your views on dating. I am not a 'girly girl' (a term which totally offends me) but i hold down a part-time job, and my ex NEVER ONCE expected me to 'pick up half".

It is the MAN'S responsibility to pick up the check IF he's the one who asked for the date, plain and simple. I am dating a guy right now who won't even let me buy myself a bottle of water if we stop at a gas station. To me, THAT is a man; knows his woman can hold her own, but still wants to take care of her.

I agree with Emmy...you want women that HAVE to rely on you, so maybe this poll was just a way to get us strong, independent women in a tizzy???

Jenn

yup, Dolfin....you got it right...pat

You guys, I flagged this for the moderators. Although this doesn't violate any specific forum guideline, this is as pointless of an argument as one about religion or politics. I think that the poll could only have served to agitate, and it has accomplished just that. The original person doesn't seem to be looking to make a decision based on the poll data, so it's not worth the frenzy just to satisfy someone's curiosity.

Most things aren't important enough to get upset about. And in my NEVER EVER humble opinion....this would be one of those little things.

And I'm sure hoping that everyone on this thread wishes each of us much happiness in their relationships.

emsky

ems, i wish you the best.....will you wish me the best with my invisible boyfriend?

Sweetie - I think that our invisable boyfriends are gay, and dating each other. Bummer for us, ehh?

Kisses, emmy

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Stew,

I have to totally disagree with your views on dating. I am not a 'girly girl' (a term which totally offends me) but i hold down a part-time job, and my ex NEVER ONCE expected me to 'pick up half".

It is the MAN'S responsibility to pick up the check IF he's the one who asked for the date, plain and simple. I am dating a guy right now who won't even let me buy myself a bottle of water if we stop at a gas station. To me, THAT is a man; knows his woman can hold her own, but still wants to take care of her.

I agree with Emmy...you want women that HAVE to rely on you, so maybe this poll was just a way to get us strong, independent women in a tizzy???

Jenn

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if you were a strong independent woman, you wouldn't have a "man" paying for your company. your man is two words: P-Whipped. he doesn't know how to be a man because if he did, he wouldn't have to pay to have a girlfriend. if you were any sort of a woman, you wouldn't allow someone to pay for you. you would pay 1/2 without offering to. a woman offering to pay 1/2 is simply putting the payment back on the guy because they know that they don't want to look cheap.

it's not a matter of being cheap. it's a matter of young boys being brainwashed by their mother (especially the ones being raised by a single mother) that you should treat a girl like royalty. where did this gender divide happen? do girls fathers tell them to treat their boyfriend like a king? no. it's just the way that society has put a woman up on a pedastal that her vagina is gold plated and should be treated as such.

there is no reason a guy should pay for a girls company. it's just another form of prostitution. if you wouldn't date a guy that doesn't pay for you, you are nothing more than a white-washed hooker.

i do agree that whoever asks who out on the first date, they should pay. after that, you get to know each other and know where things stand.