[bailey193]

So this past weekend I went to a party, (my boyfriend was with me) and I ran into an old friend that I always had a "thing" for. He held my attention more then my boyfriend had the entire night. If you've read my previous posts, my boyfriend and I are doing great and are happy, but I can't stop thinking of this old crush that just kind of came back into my life.

We went on a date once, I had always considered it a date, but I never knew how he had felt about it. It was so sweet! A real dream date, we went out, in his truck, listening to country, mini golf-ed ( and he let me win), and then ate ice cream on the bed of his truck. He then brought me home to meet his family and we all sat together for a while then they left us alone. I got a text from some other friends about how they were having a party, and I tried to convince him to come, but he didnt want to. I made a mistake that night and left and went to this "party" which was like 3 boys so I went home after all. I always kicked myself for it but am now kicking myself even more.

At the party this weekend, I asked him what he thought about it, and he told me that he did too consider it a date and that he was really bummed out when I left. It makes me feel soo much worse. And now I can't stop thinking about it and him! The whole night we were together this past weekend, (no lines were crossed), but I was having a great time. My boyfriend was inside the whole night watching the UFC fight and it was like he didn't want anything to do with me.

So now I'm stuck! I can't stop thinking about this old crush, and when I really think about it, there are so many things about him that are better then my current bf. But I have been without this current bf and its almost like I didn't know what I had til I lost it, and I fought so hard to get it back and I dont want to take the risk of losing him forever. But at the same time I don't want to settle. Could I be getting bored with my current bf.. and is that okay? ahh HELP PLEASEE!

[Rhapsody]

I say wait it out and don't rush anything with this other guy unless you know for sure that he wants more than friendship with you, other wise, you risk loosing the good relationship you already have with your bf.

IF you do decide to take a chance with the other guy please end it with your present bf before moving forward... even if it is what first appears to be an innocent dinner between old friends.

Good Luck.

[jerrymichele]

Bailey I agree with Rhapsody. Just wait it, and see what happens.

[Pomegranate]

I don't know what the ages and maturity level here is, but if applicable, I think you should be honest with yourself and the other guy. Talking about feelings and thoughts is a good thing, as long as the other person can be honest and open about their thoughts and feelings also.

I would tell both guys how you are feeling about them, and tell your boyfriend how you feel about this other guy, that maybe you need some time to explore your feelings to be sure you want to be with him and not with this other guy. Ask yourself what you would want your boyfriend to do if he was feeling this way about another girl?

[bailey193]

yeah I'm really trying to wait this out I just can't get this kid out of my mind! I called him the day after the party to talk and instead of talking he texted me. I said that I was sorry for making an *** out of myself and he said "no worries" then left it at that. There is another party comming up and I'm not sure if hes going but if he does then I will see how things go then and make a decision based on that night too.

[bailey193]

AHHH this is getting MUCH harder! I can't stop thinking about him!! He said he might go to my party so I IMed him and said " you better come mister" as a joke and he replied with "Umm hello I work at 5 am everyday and thats not a good idea. very irresponsible, and Im not like that anymore." so i said all I could think of, "sorry I didnt know". its almost that by him pushing me away I wanna try harder.

and i know that (this is going to sound aweful cause im not one to cheat at all, never have, ) but Im like dying to kiss him. Just kiss. nothing else, not taking it any further at all, its so strange. i cant even discribe the feeling. I just want it to go away!!

HELP

[amy83]

Bailey
I feel for you honey...My divorce is going to be finalized in a month or so. And I think about how a couple years into my marriage i got bored and felt like I needed someone else to give me the reassurance that I was still wanted, .....And then you think about the what if's from the past.
But if you are truly happy with your bf and he's good to you I would really try not to mess it up. You never know the other guy could have been really sweet to you that first night, but how do you know if you tried it agin it would still be the same.... And how long would it last, The grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Just try not to jump inot something when you have something good now.

[Pomegranate]

Bailey, it sounds to me like this guy is sending you the message to keep your distance, he wants to be friendly but that's it. 1. he texted rather than talked to you on the phone - that distancing 2. his message to you about the party was definitely meant to bring distance and it was cranky rather than nice sounding.

If he were really interested in you, he'd be at the party or be letting you know in other ways. He's not sending that message at all, it sounds like. You are sabotaging yourself, especially if you want your current relationship to work. If you are as happy with your current boyfriend as you said you are, concentrate on him and keep the other guy OUT of your mind. You are going to hurt yourself.

[jerrymichele]

Bailey, Pome has some really good points. To be honest I would back off from calling, texting anything relating to having contact with him. See if he comes around. What does he have that your bf doesn't have?

[Shangrala]

Bailey~

It sounds to me that if you allow this 'crush' to interfere with what you have at present, (which is a good thing, no less), you are taking the risk of ending up with neither of them.

Why try to fix something that already works perfectly fine? = Your present relationship.
You need to ask yourself AND listen to your answers...HONESTLY.
Questions like...
~"Am I happy in my present relationship?"
~"Why do I REALLY want to seek out this previous guy?"
~"What are the odds of success that this previous (few hour) encounter will provide me?"
~"Is this previous guy TRULY receptive of me?"

Although I agree with all of the responses you've received so far, I have to team up especially with what Pom has stated. If this guy was interested, there would be NO doubt whatsoever about his intentions. He would have made it all too obvious..to the point where you certainly wouldn't be here asking us if we see anything from this....(which, btw, is always welcomed...seeking an objective point of view is a good thing to do). What I'm meaning is, if he was truly interested, he would have made it all too clear to you already....(Gawd..I hope I haven't slapped my foot into mouth on this one.....lols).

Oftentimes, we take for granted the good that we already have.
Stability can become boring, and even unchallenged. Seemingly almost as though reaching stagnation.
But that is what stability IS. Normal, (for what normality IS), repetitive and, yes, boring.
If that is the case for you in your present relationship, then perhaps focus your attention on creating a lil excitement through creative spontaneity, but which is to benefit what good you already HAVE with your present bf.

Just my cents worth....hope it provides you a bit of help.

Take care. I wish you the best in your choices.

Shangrala

[gagirlinpc]

It really seems that you are NOT receiving what you need to be content and in love with your current boyfriend. Something somewhere is missing. You need to look at your current relationship very honestly and see what you really feel before considering anything with an old friend.