Need some advice

Warning Long thread bellow. Read at your own risk. Hah!

I am a 20 year old male, who at this time in my life feel I am lost and starting to fall into something near depression. I have felt a sort of depression on and off in my life shortly after turning 14, not a true depression but signs and feelings of sadness triggered by random things. I believe it revolves around one thing, women and relationships. I have dated a small bit, but each time there is a hitch. The girls I date are not really in any sense my type, I am somewhat mature for my age (or so I believe), I have a strong sense of of what makes me happy and completes the gap many people I see on a day to day basis seem to have. I am young and according to the world around me, I am better off hooking up with random girls, drinking too much beer, and worrying about how much of a badazz I am. I am told on the regular that I am a good looking guy, so I assume I can meet girls. I work out somewhat of a passion now, and am starting to get the buff and toned look, not to impress but for health and good mentality in life. I have two good friends who are in serious relationships, and this kinda bothers me a bit. Here is were the depression comes in, I see them togther happy and content, and hearing the "why don't you date or at least try to get laid" line, I feel more lonely than ever. I am a good all around guy, not to be self centered, but I am funny, good looking, well rounded, and have a general respect for women. But it seems that girls (my age) are into some other type of man, and even older women for that matter. I have passion in life, there are things I love that dont include getting smashed, getting laid, and going back and doing it all over again next weekend. Every girl I have met seems to be living for the party, and the jerk who tells her she is useless. I don't really understand the whole thing at all. I am in fear of that fact that because I don't go out and try and mingle and hookup, that I will end up being alone for ever, which in the end seems like a very sad and poor outlook.

Why does it feel like I am never meant to expierence love, or a soild reklationship? I feel really alone in this, and it is getting worse as I get older. Am I alone?

Sorry to complain, I like to see the positive but it doesnt seem to be around here right now in my life.

Thanks for any help.

Maybe you are picking the wrong girls to date or try to meet. If you are basing your choice on looks alone, you'll keep on making the same mistake. Look for the "inside" girl, her personality, her values, her interests. Sometimes a person may not look like what you think you want, but as you get to know them and become friends, you suddenly find that looks really don't matter that much any more. Just a thought, based on you saying you are only meeting girls who like jerks. Look for the girls who could care less about the jerks.

Hey Corey,
I just wanted to let you know that the type of girls you're looking for DO exist! Even in college! I know plenty of them! Pom has a lot of great points, but also try looking for girls in different places than you have been. Join clubs that cater to your passions, and you'll probably find a few girls who have the same interests as you.

If it helps, I'm 22 and pretty much that type of girl. My boyfriend and I go out cycling (watching the Tour de France now!), play board games, and do all sorts of stuff together. We dont live for the weekend and getting smashed.

Keep your chin up, stay positive, and stay confident! Try looking for girls in new places, and looking for the girl behind her face. Best wishes and good luck

Ro

Hi Corey~

Sometimes, we find love, (or it finds us), in the least likely of places and when we least expect it.

You've gotten some good advice already. There's little that I can add to it other than, try not to make a deliberate attempt at finding her, but rather, allow her, (or the chance of her), naturally happen.

Have you ever noticed how, when making a deliberate attempt toward looking for something it never seems to show? (LOL...at least, for me it's that way), especially, if you're looking for it in the wrong places. Yet soon after you give up the search you seem to stumble upon it?
In other words..sometimes, the best way to search for something is to stop looking for it...let it come to you.

Place yourself in an environment where you are accompanied by those who share the same interests. (No point in looking for a motorcycle at a car dealership....lol).

You sound like a very intellegent and compassionate person, Corey, far exceeding many your own age. The sweet thing is that you are still quite young. Although, I know that that offers little consolation at this time, you do have youth on your side and plenty of time to find her.
Try not to let what your friends say bring you down. It's none of their business what you do with your personal life.

I must commend you for not following suit with the party life, especially at your age...I know of the pressures that that can sometimes create. Yet you stand true to yourself, regardless. Bravo!

Keep the faith. You will find her. She is out there searching for you, as well. The right moment will present itself when you least expect it.
Keep an open eye and a hopeful heart.

One more thot, be thankful that you are not of the common suit..that you already know what your needs are, and won't settle for anything less.

I hope this has been helpful some to you.

Good luck in your journey. I wish you the best.

Shangrala