[Astraea]

I'm in a constant state of worry and nervousness, because I've had several bad experiences with men. Even though I've been with my fiance for the past two years, I'm always absolutely terrified he will leave me for someone else or cheat on me, even though he doesn't seem like that kind of person. We don't really do anything sexual that much anymore because I'm usually too upset or my meds are killing my libido. I worry that it will destroy our relationship, even though he keeps telling me that stuff doesn't matter, that he loves me anyway.

How can I get over my trust issues? Can I ever trust a man again completely?

[jerrymichele]

I have trust issues too. My boyfriend now is the only man I have trusted this much. I think when you get hurt that scar always stays with us. It did take me a long time to trust him the way I do now. Maybe you need to talk to someone about this.

[0ldsoul]

Hello,

glad to hear you all have soem trust and loving partners.

One thing I have always tried to say to people is "unfaithfulness is a moral thing, not a situational thing." So have faith in the morals of your lover, never worry about situations or what happens when your not there, or not around. True loyalty cannot be tempted by situations that arise elswhere. Have faith. Trust your gut, if you feel he/she is secure, be happy and content with that

0ldsoul

[amy83]

Astrea
I feel your pain. I have been in horrible relationships in the past too. My ex husband got a girl pregnant while we were together and while he never cheated while we were married I couldn't stop thinking that he was going to everytime he left the house.
It affects me in every relationship. I am with a good guy now and the feeling still persists and I constantly have to tell myself it won't happen he's not my ex(s).....
I don't know what to tell you to make that feeling go away. Just keep telling yourself the one you have now is a good man and won't do you wrong.

[BabyCakesHunt]

what if every man u have ever had in ur life betrayd u ? then u meet sum1 and u be open n honest with them cuz he feels like he has a lil better morals than the rest.then u come to find out hes been cheating over the internet and the phone.i dont know if i will ever believe that he has stopped doin any of this even tho he reassures me he has.but sum of his actions make me wonder.He is a very friendly person n just loves to converse with any1.i have asked him to limit his activities ,mostly when it comes to other women.all he says is"that was in the past n its over n stop bringing it up n accusing me" but with all the dishonesty and betrayal ive had my whole life and the to go through it again with him.i want to trust him but he has to meet me halfway and stop adding so many women to his friends lists.he says all these women r just friends and he dont talk much to them anyways.but how am i to know this? i am just terrified that this will happen all over again and i fear i might not make it next time........

[william1971]

Jeez, what a frightened bunch of insecure people here; I have to say I'm no different. My girlfriends ex keeps trying to get back with her and it worries me completely. The only answer I can come up with for gaining trust is:

1) Lots of therapy
2) Self-Help books on Self-Esteem/Trusting

Working on yourself and these negative patterns over time is really the only way (if there is indeed one). It's hard when you've been burned so many times in the past but we can't afford NOT to do anything about it!

May the force be with you all!