What is healthy internet use

I have a question. With the world of technology providing us with cell phones, text messaging, emails, and facebook/myspace, what is appropriate? Should someone in a committed relationship be receiving and or sending emails, texts, messages to the opposite sex? Even if it is old friends, is there a point where it becomes inappropriate? How much is too much??? And should these communications be available for the other person to view if they wish??

That is a question lots of people are facing in the world today as techonology expands and broadens more and more.

As for being in a committed relationship and talking with other men or women, as long as those feelings harbored for the other person are strictly friend feelings and the conversation stays as such there is no problem. I have been in very serious relationships and still talked with my guy friends and hung out with them, the line only gets crossed when inappropriate advances and such start going on.

As for the other person viewing these conversations, that is tricky, you are allowed your privacy, and your partner should trust you that nothing inappropriate is going on. But then again if those lines aren't being crossed there is nothing to hide.

I hope this was of some help, lol I haven't had my coffee for the day yet so I"m hoping this makes sense :P

Peace
Sparrow

It did make sense and thank you for the reply. I think you hit the nail on the head. I do trust, but why the secret nature. I do not get that.

I don't like the secret part at all....I think when somebody is in committed relationship and have his needs met with his partner, then what is the need to chat with some other girls online? and if so, why does he hide it?

once again, i'm the guy in question. Gagirlpc is talking about two situations. One was an im sent to my friends grilfriend asking how he was doing because he was sick, she was in town for the weekend (she stays in cali) and he was not answering the phone. The second was a friend i have know since grade school, whom i found on facebook. Shes married with children. She and i went to church together as kids and we were just catching up. I have never given my girl a reason to doubt me. I take very good care of her, (diamonds, money, place to live, what ever she wants she get) but for some reason she still does not trust me. She had a very bad relationship before ours and has never been able to trully trust me. She judges me based on her past. And to top it all off, she cheated on me with my friend. I HAVE NEVER CHEATED ON HER! But for some reason she wants to trip on my internet use. Not to mention, all these site i use, (this one, facebook and so on) i got from her. She uses them to, just as much!

If my bf was covering up things with me on the internet or on his phone, I would be pissed. The way I see it if there is nothing to hide then you should let me see what is going on. If my bf was calling another woman he would need to do it in front of me. If he called a friend or sent a text every now in then it wouldn't bother me as long as I knew about it. If on the other hand he invested all his time with this friend I'm going to start thinking something is going on. That's just me.

Technology aside in my opinion, anytime someone acts like they have something to hide, they usually do. My husband and I have been married a long time. We have each other's passwords etc. There is nothing on my phone or computer that I would not want him to see and vice versa.

It all boils down to trust. Simple as that. Nothing more to it.

I sometimes have the tendancy to be playfully flirty, (toward both sexes, depending on the person). My love, Kristian, understands that and because of our mutual trust, he has absolutely NO problem with it....after all, it's only playfulness and he understands that I'm the social type.

I do not abuse it though, and if I should notice that it seems to go into a direction of more than playfulness, then I make it a point to immediately correct it....as I have no outside interests. And if, by chance, Kristian should feel uncomfy about any of my playfulness, he lets me know, and I attend to it by correcting it (eliminating it), which I have no problem with.
(I place myself into his position, ask myself how I'd feel if I were him, and go from there).
It's all good!!

Agreed, though.....
There should be absolutely NO room for hiding...ANYTHING!
IF there is trust, then there is acceptance. Acceptance provides freedom. Freedom delivers openness. Openness offers no need to hide....anything.

Hiding usually means secrets. Secrets usually means guilt. Guilt tends to mean AWARENESS of unaccepted behavior, which means that person is behaving in a way which he/she is perfectly conscious that they are doing something which would hurt their partner.
Not good!!

Shangrala

Thanks for all the responses. I was just curious. I do trust, but I am also curious, what someone would talk so much about. So when I ask to see, I am told I do not trust. The confusion is if you trust, why would you want or need to see. And my counter is, if there is nothing to hide, why can't I see. It is a catch 22.

...this is an interesting question.

everyone that has posted, makes sense.

still, it is an issue i struggle with, a bit. i am in a serious and exclusive, relationship, but both of us have friends of the opposite sex. i do txt one other guy occasionally, and may have a phone convo with another guy friend, as we've exchanged numbers, and i have guys on my facebook of course, (though i've a very small facebook, as does my bf) i also email with a few guy (and girl) friends.

currently our relationship is one of long-distance.

so trust is even more important.
there are a couple of friends (girls) that bf calls/texts/emails and one is on his facebook , and i don't like it. i think he was flirting with them, maybe more, in the past. (before we got serious) and i think that even if HE is not flirting now, i think the girls in question are still of the same mode, with him.

this bothers me a great deal. we've had a couple of conversations about it, he realizes i have trust issues from my last relationship that i am trying to get past, and he is patient with me. but he does still continue his ''friendship'' with these girls.

on the other side of the coin, i do not want to give up my male friends, they are very dear to me. and by the way, i am very faithful to my bf and would not cheat on him. and , all of my guy friends know i am in a committed relationship.

still, i DO want bf to stop calling/texting with these girls - but i know i can't ask him to stop.
i know i know - it's not fair. it has to work both ways. but i am just being honest about my feelings.

thanks for bringing up this interesting topic.